Just when me eyes were looking normal -- THIS HAPPENS!

 23 June 2021

1029

R. Linda:

I had appointments all Monday and ran around doing me job when finally I got home. Everyone was out so I decided to do the kiddos' chores and feed the dogs and cats. I got all that done and as soon as the dogs had eaten, I put them out. On my way in, I took a header that would have felled a smaller-nosed man, let me tell ya. 

I had taken the screen out of the storm door to be replaced because me old dog, the Irish Red and White Setter, had ripped it with her claws wanting to come in. So the screen was gone and there was a big opening. If you opened the storm door the bottom metal piece would fall off because the screws were out. As a result, we had been passing through the screen opening without opening the storm door. This made it so one had to lift their foot up higher than one would if the door was open with a screen. Well, me being me, and being knackered, forgot to step up and caught my foot on the lip of the screen door frame and well, I went down SMACK face first!

I had collars and leashes in me hands that I saw the boyos had left out, and I don't know if carrying those prevented me from using me hands to break the fall or what, but I went face-first to the hardwood floor and experienced what Weasil would call a face plant. I didn't see stars I saw an atomic explosion of electric light as I hit. I raised meself up to blood spurting everywhere and to make matters worse, the dogs had seen the whole accident and came rushing to my aid. I say aid, as I'd like to think that, but more to see the gore I would suppose.

Try being hurt with two large dogs in your smashed face as you try to get up with blood spurting everywhere, and being aware of trying not to bleed all over the place. I managed to shoo the dogs and got to the kitchen where I got some ice and immediately went to the couch. I put my head back with an ice pack over me nose and a dog positioned over the top of me drooling into me hurt face. I pushed him away and he sat whining at me, as the other one went romping through the house. I didn't care if the other one got into mischief I was in too much pain and shock to care. The whining, of course, didn't help, you'd think it was the dog that fell and not his owner. 

Meanwhile, me text messages were coming fast and furious from work over an article I had submitted and I was trying to text my wife to let her know I had an atrocious accident. She was already on her way home and was nearby so that was at least a comfort. At least it was until the dog decided to lick the blood off me face which is disturbing in itself of the possibility of biting my face off if he liked the taste too much. I know he is no pitbull but still. 

I got him down and felt a mild headache coming on, me nose was numb so that was a good thing, the awful throbbing I couldn't feel though if I put me fingers on the bridge of me nose I could feel the pulsing and the blood from a large gash. I was trying not to bleed all over the place but me ice pack was leaking and me chest was catching the drippy cold liquid making me shiver. 

Tonya came rushing to me aid almost tripping over the dog that was lying at my feet. She put the two of them out because the other one came rushing down from upstairs where unbeknownst to us, had found some old stuffed animals and redecorated the middle child's room with stuffing guts.

Tonya was all about calling the EMTs, but I said I thought I was ok and the nose wasn't too broken. She tried cleaning me up but the blood just wouldn't stop (it did by ten that night and this was around 5:45 in the afternoon). She didn't think me nose was broken but it was swollen and I had three good gashes on the bridge. Two minor, the other deep but didn't need stitches. 

"Good thing I have a big nose," I said, "it broke me fall. Could have been worse if I hit me forehead."

"You probably did hit your forehead too." She said. "How you can joke about this, I don't know."

I did have a bit of a headache at the back of me skull which means me brain took a hit. I should have had the EMTs come check me out, but by the time she got home, I was resting comfortably sans doggy doctor and truly wasn't looking to continue the experience in a hospital. 

Yesterday I woke up to two blue-black eyes, not bad at least not as bas bad as I thought it would be. I had envisioned black and blue raccoon eyes with a dab of yellow here and there, but no that didn't happen. It wasn't until THIS morning I woke up to quite a surprise, not only did I experience headache, but me eyes were swollen and the black area was now red and bigger and more swollen than before. 

Swollen above and below - I be a mess

To add insult to injury this morning me wife told me my nose be crooked. I feel disfigured but well, not much I can do about it now. I did look in the mirror before that bandage was put over me nose and wow the one gash has flattened the bridge of me nose it looks, but with the swelling, I can't really tell. Been taking IBproben for the pain which is mild as long as I don't touch anything injured. 

The kiddos have been teasing me, telling me that my eyes look small like piggy eyes. Nice huh? I look like I did a round in the ring with Iron Mike. Even a face mask won't help this. Me helpful Mam says the blood sack at the bottom of my eye should be stabbed and drained. Like that's gonna happen. She's something her along with the boyos. 

Gabe

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