Curb-side Pickup and Pigeons

 24 April 2021

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R. Linda:

You, like me, are probably tired of all these COVID-related letters, but since we live in a new norm, things have taken on a great change. It's hard to get away from it. Just the other day, Mam was looking in the mirror at her fine self and decided she didn't like the look of her silver hair being 8 inches from the roots and the bottom half blond. She decided to get a toner for her hair to tone down the blond part to maybe match the top part.

Since, at the time, she didn't have her second COVID shot, she went online looking for a product she saw on the telly, and the only place that had it was Walmart, AKA Wally World. She ordered it for curb-side pick-up so off we went, me driving. We get to the curb-side pick-up and pull into the last parking space (the rest being filled). The sign as you drive in says to keep your mask on and stay in your car; a representative will come out and hand you your purchase. Ok then. 

Sign in front of the car bonnet

So we sit there and watch patrons being given their purchases and other cars pulling in and no one is coming over to us. I pick up me mobile and dial the number on the sign facing me after 30 minutes of this. The phone rang and rang and rang like no one was home! We knew workers were inside because we had seen them bringing purchases to the waiting vehicles. FINALLY, a woman picks up and says, "We don't usually answer the phone because we are busy." WHAT? I tell her I have been outside now for 45 minutes in a hot car with a mask on, waiting for SOMEONE to come to my window, which is shut per instructions on the entrance sign, and I have been ignored even when I was crazily waving at these Walmart workers for attention. I told her I decided to ring, and if that didn't work, I was about to sit on the horn until SOMEONE came over. "Oh, don't do that," says she, "I will be right out. What was your order number?" I gave her all the info and me and Mam sat there for another 20 minutes while the same thing happened. Other cars would pull in, and after getting their package, new ones would pull in, and there we sat watching it all. 

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I got OUT of the car to the collective horror of not only the salespeople bringing out purchases but the people waiting in their cars. It was like a collective 'OH!" Ask me if I cared? I did not. I told Mam I'd go inside and get the damn hair product, but she informed me it was the last one and was inside the curb-side pick-up place. That left me desperate attempt for attention, a dismal failure, and once outside the car, a Walmart person told me in no uncertain terms to get back in the car, to which I responded not without me package! I yelled at him I had been sitting there for well on an hour, and even a phone call inside did not bring out an $11 product of one that I had come to pick up!

He asked me the order number, being all annoyed, and I gave it to him and got back in my vehicle. 15 FREAKING minutes later, he returns with the package. Finally! Mam takes a peek, and it is the right purchase, and off we go. I was still fuming when she suggested we go to McDonalds next door and she'd buy me lunch. I was all for that, so I pulled into the drive-thru, ordered two lunches, paid (I wasn't going to let her do the honours), and pulled into the parking lot next door, which was pretty much deserted.

While I was unwrapping me burger, I noticed an abundance of pigeons and they were alighting on me vehicle. Walking up the bonnet and pecking at the window. "What be this now?" I said out loud.

"They moost be hungry," Mam said, munching a crisp.

She decided any leftovers she would deposit out the window for these birds that were busy leaving deposits all over the car. I mentioned that it was illegal to feed this many birds in a public parking lot. 

"I hear ye." She said with a sigh, watching the horde moving about the car.

"Next stop, the carwash," I grumbled. 

"Doya think people feed dese birdies, and dats why dey be here?" She asked.

"No clue, but this is ridiculous. How can we enjoy our food with bird dip running down the windows?"

A minute later a black vehicle comes slowly rolling in with these two oldsters inside. It pulls off to the section of parking spaces across from us. The pigeons fly from my vehicle to theirs and more come flying in. We sat there in wonder.

"Ye tink day got better food den us?" Mam asks, all in wonder.

Well, yes, they did, as a matter of fact. They must feed the dirty birds every day with pounds of birdseed so they don't forage; the birds wait for them to roll on in. I found out later that these two come regularly to feed the pigeons.

Bird ladies and flock

If they get caught, they will get a fine, I be sure. It must cost a small fortune because they had bags of bird food that was devoured in seconds. When they moved off, the birds moved off with them, so we were able to finish our meal with me turning the windscreen wipers on to remove the bird crap.

The next stop was the car wash, and as I slowly rolled into line and got to the man who took me money, he said, "Been across the way, have you?" I looked back at him, stunned, and told him yes, I had. He nodded knowingly and told us he gets most of his business thanks to the old ladies. "Every day like clockwork." He said, waving me up to the wash.

We know not to do that again, nor will there be anymore curbside pickup.

Gabe

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