The Linda Letters by Gabriel O'Sullivan: Valentine Day's Dinner Diaster Leads To A Celebration Of The Chinese New Year!

15 February 2021

1019

R. Linda:

So here you go, me Mam and me wife both love duck. I went to the market and bought a large duck and thought to make it a special Valentine's dinner for both ladies of the house. I salted the cavity and massaged the skin to bring out the juice and put it in the oven. While it was baking and filling the house with juicy ducky smells, I made a from-scratch orange sauce which if I do say so meself is exceptional.

I had roasted some root veggies in some of the duckie fat and they were coming along looking quite delicious. The kiddos and I whipped up a cherry cheesecake for dessert and all was well in the O'Sully kitchen. The only problem was keeping the ladies out because they came in inhaling the aroma and asking what they might do to help and I'd scoot them out telling them I had everything under control.

When it came time for dinner the kiddos and I got the orange sauce and veggies in serving bowls and I got out the duck as it crackled and simmered, filling the house with a delectable ducky fragrance. I salivate just remembering that. I let it rest on the counter and everyone was saying how yummy it looked and they couldn't wait to dive in.

I took me fork and carving blade and was all set. O'Hare had the meat platter at the ready and I made the first cut when all of a sudden a plume of steam came out of the slit and momentarily blinded me! When the smoke cleared I started to carve. Only when I looked down at that juicy full-bodied duck it had deflated! How is that possible? Yes, R. Linda, it was flat like a pancake. I did wonder at this and cut some more and there was no meat! It was all skin and bone! WHAT?

I was flabbergasted I was and so was everyone else. How was THIS possible? I was sold an old duck with no meat just a bag of bones? Who would do such a thing I ask you (borrowing one of Wolfie's favourite questions, usually directed at the Weasil man). Well, I don't know who would do such a thing, but there we were, all of us, gathered around the carcass (in want for a better word). We bemoaned not the fate of the duck but our appetites. What to do?

Well, I threw Mr. Duck in the trash bin along with the veggies and all that wonderful orange sauce I had slaved over, and got out me mobile phone. I asked the man on the other end if he was open for dinner, and he gave me the affirmative and made sure I told the family to wear masks. OK then. I hurried everyone into their winter gear, then outside into Tonya's car, turning the heater up high and off I took with the family who were asking me where I was taking them (my answer, "You'll see,") and questioning me sanity.

I pulled up to the Golden Panda Chinese Restaurant and told them to wait in the warm car while I made sure our reservations were ready. They were and I signalled all of me own duckies inside and we sat down to order from the Celebrate the Chinese New Year menu. Yes, we did. We did not celebrate Valentine's Day this year despite me good intentions and efforts. No, we celebrated the Year of the Ox. Good thing it wasn't a duck, or I would have ripped everyone from their seats, and out we'd go.

All was not lost I ordered Peking duck for all and so instead of wishing each other a happy Valentine's Day we wished each other a happy new year!

P.S. We did go home to dessert. While it wasn't the most perfect gourmet-looking cheesecake it was delicious.