Where is Captain Jaack when you need him?

29 September 2013

710

R. Linda:

What is the world coming to when you get yourself and your family settled for a sightseeing tour on the Thames and your duck boat catches fire? You could say it could have been worse, it could have been a ride on the Titanic! Well, it was . . . almost but there weren't any icebergs to blame.

So here's the scoop, a friend of mine took his wife and his wee one to London for a bit of sightseeing.  He was looking over a travel brochure while waiting for his wife to get ready for their first big day in London when the wee one pointed out that the "Queen has duck boats!"

Yes indeed, pictured alongside London attractions was a duck boat, and this the young one was all about. Being from Boston, and familiar with 'duck boats' me friend thought why not? Why not indeed? I'll tell you why not. London's duckie boats are at least 60 years old. They are converted troop carriers from probably WW1 (okay 2) and they are made to look like ducks (somewhat), and they are not only amphibious, they have wheels and travel over hard ground. They look something like the ones in Boston, but (we'll call him Bill) and family were in England and things look a little off, not like back home, but despite that me friend rang up for reservations for 3 on a duck boat tour of the Thames.

His wife was not too thrilled when she heard this, she was all for one of those open, canvas-roofed river bus-type vessels and she had enough splash back home she didn't need to be watered down with the Thames. The young one treated the duck boat like a ride on the flume at Disney World and was all about it.

"The Queen and the DOE travelled on one in Liverpool, so if they don't mind we shouldn't," Bill said.

At least that was the argument, but her kiddo was jumping up and down about being on the "Queen's DUCK" so resigned to another wet tour, (we'll call her Alice) mumbled about wasted time on makeup that would be running down her face, etc., and off the family went. Little did she know, I tell ya!

Typical duckie boat on the Thames

So all went well from the short wait for entry onto the duck boat and when all 30 or so passengers were jammed in, I mean settled, off they went and were told about the historical attractions or buildings on the river. Alice thought she smelled something burning, but she didn't see any fire or smoke so try as she might to ignore it, and listen to the history being given over the loudspeaker, she found the smell rather overpowering and was about to speak up when a young lad saw white smoke and began to point to where it was coming from. Alice's eyes followed the pointing finger, saw the white smoke turn to a grey colour, and just as quickly turn black and voila instantly to follow FLAMES!

It started to billow as people began to panic. The breeze pushed the smoke toward the passengers and mayhem ensued to where people began to jump overboard, while others donned life jackets and clung to the sides of the boat. How harrowing is that? I ask ya!

See for yourself those dots are people in the river

Our tourist family from Boston could all swim, so that was a plus, but a burning boat, a duck boat at the very least? How crazy was that? Never in all their lives had they expected to find themselves in the water instead of on top of it, I tell ya!

"I thought for a sad moment we were on the Costa Concordia!" Bill exclaimed to his drenched wife. And I mean drenched, hair, makeup, newly bought tourist clothing, purse, all WET, actually according to Alice, "Wetter than wet!"

Yup, all ruined, including the day. SIGH. Sort of put a damper on lunch, excuse the pun.

"They pulled people onto barges and everyone was saved. Alice will never look at the House of Parliament the same . . .  or the Lambeth Bridge." Bill said wistfully.

Fire out everyone accounted for

Bill said the rescue crews and fire brigade came quickly and no one was injured he knew of. Though clearly, the smoke had got to a few. I don't wonder! He said they were very cold and were given hot cups of tea to warm them up and blankets to keep the dripping passengers from shock and chill. He found out this is not the first time this sort of thing has happened, seems a duck boat sank last June in . . . LIVERPOOL - wasn't that the ride the Queen and Prince P had taken? Hum. In the aftermath of THAT incident, people called for the duck boats to be retired or put up until they were deemed safe to ride in. I somehow don't think the latter ever happened though when I told Weasil of this his comment was, "Dey stoppied da duckie boaties in Liverpool and shipped em' ta London dint dey?"

Makes one wonder if Bill and Alice's water adventure wasn't one of the Liverpool duck boats brought to London. OR, if all that hot air coming out of the House of Parliament didn't set the thing ablaze!

"Wouldn't have happened iffin Cappy wuz drivin' da duck," Weasil said to me a few minutes ago.

I have to agree if our Capt. Jaack was at the helm they'd never have left shore for the rum drinking.

So there you go, if you are hot to tour the Thames DO NOT book passage in a duck boat to do it.

Gabe
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