17 January 2013
622
R. Linda:
I will say that being up in a small plane with Weasil and Amanda was no joyful flight for yours truly. I had been saying how bored I was and how I needed a little excitement, but I never thought the excitement would come with the two Weasil's showing up at me door. I should have known as well, that things were going to go to a lofty level when I opened the door and there was Weasil dressed in boots, what looked like riding pants, a leather bomber jacket, a white scarf WITH fringe, and aviator goggles and leather goggle hat or whatever that piece of paraphernalia is called. Mrs. Weasil was dressed the same way! I thought they were early for a costume party, but no, no, this was serious business. The Weasil had bought himself a twin-engine Cessna and he and she had been flying around and landed in me neck of the woods!
Well, to make a long visit short they talked me into a quick flight in "da Red Baron" (the name of the new plane) and they brought along a leather hat with goggles just for me! I was not wearing those articles for feeling and looking the buffoon, but the idea of a short flight actually had its purpose. I had to go to Vermont for a story and this quick flight would save me the long drive.
Me brain was screaming at me "NO, ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU ARE FLYING IN A SMALL PLANE WITH WEASIL! HELLO! THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA GABRIEL!" But I ignored that loud shouting voice in me head because truly driving on snow-covered, icy roads be not me cup of tea. The last time I did that I slid off the road and broke me leg. So to the airfield, we went, or more like slid because the roads were icy, further ensuring to me at least, I was doing the right thing by flying.
To be quite honest with you the Red Baron looked at the shiny new airplane and being new what could go wrong right? I fawned over how lovely it was as we got inside and I was thinking, piece of cake this, I'll be there and back in no time, travelling in the lap of luxury! Yeah, I did think that.
Weasil started her up and she hummed to life, the engines swirling the propellers around and he in the pilot seat, Amanda in the co, and me right behind in the passenger seat. I thought they'd take the goggles off but no, both stayed dressed as if this was World War 1 or 2 or both, and they were Baron Von Richthofen and we were about to fly an important mission to Vermont! Yes indeed.
We were given the go-ahead to taxi on out and we did not have to wait, we were given permission to start our approach and go! Well, I will say it was a smooth movement forward as we picked up speed, the humming of the engines growing louder, the Weasil laughing with glee, Mrs. Weasil intent on the controls and we began to lift off the foggy ground and up into the fog itself. Me ear drums got all stuffed up and suddenly we broke out of the fog into a clearness that harboured a bit of defused sunlight. I looked down wishing I could see the earth below, but the fog and clouds were too dense.
Within five minutes we were in the clear and I could look down, it was then for a bloody bad moment I realised how high up I was and who with. Yup, it was then all my new found fun turned into an UH OH moment. All was quiet as we levelled off and continued on, and then there was this from Mrs. Weasil, "Yea you did it!"
"Did what?" I asked nervous, that maybe Mr. W was really very new at this flying a plane business.
"Well," Amanda said, half turned towards me where I sat behind the Weasil, "Chris gets vertigo, and sometimes he passes out from it, but with the fog, the lift didn't cause that to happen and HERE WE ARE!"
I sat there speechless. Then I blurted out, "Did you say passes out? Vertigo?"
"Oh yes, he's prone to that. That is why I took lessons in case that happens. He insists as a matter of luck that he HAS to be the one to get us off the ground. Superstitious, he is, and luck? Oh yeah." And she giggled.
I found this no laughing matter, but I will say the flight was smooth despite me jittery nerves, we got to Vermont in no time at all. Weasil landed the small plane without a hitch and Bob's your uncle I was placed on the ground to go do me interview and meet the two of them back at the airstrip in two hours.
I tried not to think about the flight home. I truly did battle that voice in me head that was shouting in frustration, "I WARNED YOU GABRIEL! YOU JUST WON'T LISTEN AND I BE NOT GOING TO SAY THIS AGAIN, BUT YOU ARE TOYING WITH OUR LIFE! I TAKE THAT BACK I AM GOING TO SAY IT OVER AND OVER UNTIL YOU WAKE THE BLOODY FECK UP AND RENT A CAR AND DRIVE US HOME!"
I got to the airstrip, paid the taxi driver and stood in the small main building, not able to move a step towards the other side where I could see the two Von Richthofen's chatting with some employee of the airfield. They looked all happy and confident, but the sun was shining brightly, there was no fog. The word 'vertigo' was bouncing around me brain. Me inner voice was shouting at me DO NOT GET ON THAT PLANE YOU WILL BE SORRY GABRIEL!
I was feeling sick and as I turned to go outside where I could ring a taxi they saw me and started in me direction. I was unsure what to say or do. The voice was telling me to run but I did not. They came up to me all smiles and asked if I was "ready." I knew I'd never be ready but allowed meself to be escorted out to the pavement where the shiny new plane sat waiting.
Never has me inner voice been so strong as it was at that moment, but in spite of it, I strapped meself in and closed me eyes as I listened to the Cessna come to life. We began the slow taxi to takeoff and as we did I actually thought of trying to jump out but we were cleared and picking up speed and as we did (it felt faster than the last time), the lift seemed to wobble as we left the ground, then we started to rise and as we did I could see Weasil's eyelids fluttering, his head bobbing forward and back, and Amanda placing a hand on his arm as if in signal she needed to take over. And then WHAM he was out like a light!
Me inner voice shouted, "I TOLD YA SO! YOU ARE AN EEJIT! YOUR PILOT IS PASSED WAY THE HELL OUT! NO PARACHUTEEEEEEEE!!!"
I immediately unstrapped meself as Amanda ordered me to strap meself back in, but I couldn't I knelt behind and to the side of the Weasil and realised Amanda had taken control. That gave me pause to slap his silly face awake, but NO I couldn't reach him so NOTHING HAPPENED, he was out . . . way out! I crouched back on me heels getting hit instantly with panic, anxiety, angst, and TERROR!
"Don't you worry none Gabe, I've got this," Amanda said to me as if that would make everything better. It didn't.
"How are YOU going to bring down this couple of tons of metal from 1000 feet to the terra firma?" I asked way beyond upset.
"I can do this Gabe, you sit back and enjoy the ride. Oh and don't worry about Chris he'll be fine in a few minutes. As soon as we start our descent he should snap out of it."
"Enjoy the ride? Are you fecking kidding me?" I asked.
She made a sound like I was being a complete silly. Then she said, "Watch me land this baby Gabe, I promise I won't scratch the paintwork.
Oh yeah, THAT was reassuring. But it only got worse from there.
"Hum," Mrs. Weasil said to herself, but I caught it.
"Wha . . . what's the matter?" I asked in me panicky state.
"Seems while we were having lunch, the mechanics didn't refuel the plane."
"WHAT?!"
"I THINK we can just make it to Manchester." She said as I sat crunched and stunned. I do believe me heart stopped, I know me breathing did. I coughed and choked it back as I went to me seat, strapped meself in tightly, closed me eyes and started to pray to every deity I could think of. What started out as a quick way to get to an assignment so I could get back early and laze around had quickly become a nightmare scenario, of a passed-out pilot, hardly any fuel, novice co-pilot.
"We are approaching Manchester and I will inform them of our wee problem," Amanda said smiling at me over her shoulder, as if this was no life and death situation for her at least! Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! I was speechless with fright as I covertly took a peek below and wowey, wow, wow we were very high up.
"Okay Gabe, hold on we are going into a 90-degree angle to the runway."
Me eyes flipped open from being tightly shut so as not to see a thing on impact, but that statement had them wide open in horror. A 90-degree angle? Was she for real? I looked down, I didn't see the airport. Where was she landing? On a highway? Oh, drat that thought! She gave the plane's registration number and position along with her intention to land.
"Amanda? Where is the airport?" I asked.
"It's three miles to the runway there Gabe," she answered. "I think we have just enough fuel to get there."
Oh yeah, that was reassuring and the Weasil slept on while all this malarkey was going on.
"We are cruising at 100 knots Gabe, I need to drop to 70 for our approach. I am going to slowly reduce the power, so don't panic, I am not stalling the engine." She informed me chewing gum as she moved the controls.
"Can you chew gum and fly a plane, Amanda?" I asked her.
"I'm doin' it aren't I?" She laughed.
Oi!
I could see the plane's flaps come down from my window view and the drag caused the plane to lag and you know that feeling when your stomach drops with it? Yeah well, that was what I was experiencing along with extreme angst. And that happens why? Because as the brakes come on, the plane begins to descend and she tilts its down nose upwards as she pulls the controls gently towards her a huge shite-eating grin on her smug face while I sat there watching her feeling anything but safe.
"Gabe, don't worry I have us stable for descent and the nose is pointing in the direction of the horizon so we are good to go, or in this case land!" And she laughed, yes she did. I found nothing of humour in any of our situations. I gulped, thinking her a mad woman in goggles and a leather bomber hat.
"Now Gabe, we aren't a jumbo jet so I have to do all this landing stuff visually." She threw at me.
"Visually?" I looked out there was no fog, so there was that.
She got the go-ahead to make her final approach. The word "final" was banging around me brain with me inner voice yelling, "YOU BETTER BELIEVE ITS FINAL YOU DOLT!'
Amanda's voice cut the voice off with this gem, "This is it Gabe. Time to get this baby down and enjoy a debrief in the bar!"
"Huh?" I was confused, she was taking this like no big deal and it was a big deal. At least to me it was!
"We are approaching a tad too fast, Gabe. I have to raise the nose a tiny bit so hold on." She went back around and started her approach only this time she was moving too fast, and started to reduce the speed which was doing strange things to me nervous system, not to mention me stomach. She kept making small adjustments to the controls and when she was satisfied, she said (which further agitated me entire brain and body), "I'm about to plonk it down."
"Plonk? Are we coming in for a rough landing?" I croaked, barely able to get the words out.
We were about 40 feet from the ground coming on towards the runway when she eased the plane's nose up slowly and flipped a switch to idle. I sat there in wonder at what she was doing. But then she gradually eased the nose further up as I felt the wheels touch down and the front of the plane began to ease down on its own. She applied the brakes, slowing the plane to a taxi and down the runway we went to a parking spot. As that was occurring, the Weasil decided to rouse. Yes, he did. I could have hit him with something.
As she eased into the parking spot she turned the power off.
"Are you okay Chris? At least this time you didn't suffer a nosebleed." Amanda said solicitously to her groggy hubby.
"Nosebleed? He's prone to nosebleeds and he flies a small . . . excuse me he travels in a small plane?" I asked unstrapped and standing between their chairs. "Okay I am out of here," I said and opened the door and climbed out. You don't know how wonderful it was to feel the good green earth . . . correction, the good, snowy earth under me feet.
"Hey Gabby," Weasil called to me as he unstrapped himself and was attempting to stand up. He was swaying from his brain coming back into the real world and was not steady on his feet, but Amanda was helping him down.
"What, just what?" I asked rather tiffed at the two of them.
"IF dis trippy has whetted yer appetitie fer flyin', I'd be happy ta take yer arse up and teach ya how ta fly a plane."
I stood there speechless. Yeah right, the man who passes out at 1000 feet off the ground IS going to stay conscious long enough for him to teach me to fly a plane. Oh yeah right.
I left them in Manchester, I don't know where they are or what they are doing, but I learned me lesson I did. I now have two vehicles of transportation I won't be a passenger when Weasil is at the controls. A motor and now an airplane. I be done, so done!
I don't know if I can ever fly in a plane again, without all this . . . THIS coming back to haunt me. He has ruined not only driving a car for me, but now I doubt I will look at air travel in the same light EVER.
Gabe (still here and living to tell about it, oi!)
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
I will say that being up in a small plane with Weasil and Amanda was no joyful flight for yours truly. I had been saying how bored I was and how I needed a little excitement, but I never thought the excitement would come with the two Weasil's showing up at me door. I should have known as well, that things were going to go to a lofty level when I opened the door and there was Weasil dressed in boots, what looked like riding pants, a leather bomber jacket, a white scarf WITH fringe, and aviator goggles and leather goggle hat or whatever that piece of paraphernalia is called. Mrs. Weasil was dressed the same way! I thought they were early for a costume party, but no, no, this was serious business. The Weasil had bought himself a twin-engine Cessna and he and she had been flying around and landed in me neck of the woods!
Well, to make a long visit short they talked me into a quick flight in "da Red Baron" (the name of the new plane) and they brought along a leather hat with goggles just for me! I was not wearing those articles for feeling and looking the buffoon, but the idea of a short flight actually had its purpose. I had to go to Vermont for a story and this quick flight would save me the long drive.
Me brain was screaming at me "NO, ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU ARE FLYING IN A SMALL PLANE WITH WEASIL! HELLO! THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA GABRIEL!" But I ignored that loud shouting voice in me head because truly driving on snow-covered, icy roads be not me cup of tea. The last time I did that I slid off the road and broke me leg. So to the airfield, we went, or more like slid because the roads were icy, further ensuring to me at least, I was doing the right thing by flying.
To be quite honest with you the Red Baron looked at the shiny new airplane and being new what could go wrong right? I fawned over how lovely it was as we got inside and I was thinking, piece of cake this, I'll be there and back in no time, travelling in the lap of luxury! Yeah, I did think that.
Weasil started her up and she hummed to life, the engines swirling the propellers around and he in the pilot seat, Amanda in the co, and me right behind in the passenger seat. I thought they'd take the goggles off but no, both stayed dressed as if this was World War 1 or 2 or both, and they were Baron Von Richthofen and we were about to fly an important mission to Vermont! Yes indeed.
We were given the go-ahead to taxi on out and we did not have to wait, we were given permission to start our approach and go! Well, I will say it was a smooth movement forward as we picked up speed, the humming of the engines growing louder, the Weasil laughing with glee, Mrs. Weasil intent on the controls and we began to lift off the foggy ground and up into the fog itself. Me ear drums got all stuffed up and suddenly we broke out of the fog into a clearness that harboured a bit of defused sunlight. I looked down wishing I could see the earth below, but the fog and clouds were too dense.
Within five minutes we were in the clear and I could look down, it was then for a bloody bad moment I realised how high up I was and who with. Yup, it was then all my new found fun turned into an UH OH moment. All was quiet as we levelled off and continued on, and then there was this from Mrs. Weasil, "Yea you did it!"
"Did what?" I asked nervous, that maybe Mr. W was really very new at this flying a plane business.
"Well," Amanda said, half turned towards me where I sat behind the Weasil, "Chris gets vertigo, and sometimes he passes out from it, but with the fog, the lift didn't cause that to happen and HERE WE ARE!"
I sat there speechless. Then I blurted out, "Did you say passes out? Vertigo?"
"Oh yes, he's prone to that. That is why I took lessons in case that happens. He insists as a matter of luck that he HAS to be the one to get us off the ground. Superstitious, he is, and luck? Oh yeah." And she giggled.
I found this no laughing matter, but I will say the flight was smooth despite me jittery nerves, we got to Vermont in no time at all. Weasil landed the small plane without a hitch and Bob's your uncle I was placed on the ground to go do me interview and meet the two of them back at the airstrip in two hours.
I tried not to think about the flight home. I truly did battle that voice in me head that was shouting in frustration, "I WARNED YOU GABRIEL! YOU JUST WON'T LISTEN AND I BE NOT GOING TO SAY THIS AGAIN, BUT YOU ARE TOYING WITH OUR LIFE! I TAKE THAT BACK I AM GOING TO SAY IT OVER AND OVER UNTIL YOU WAKE THE BLOODY FECK UP AND RENT A CAR AND DRIVE US HOME!"
I got to the airstrip, paid the taxi driver and stood in the small main building, not able to move a step towards the other side where I could see the two Von Richthofen's chatting with some employee of the airfield. They looked all happy and confident, but the sun was shining brightly, there was no fog. The word 'vertigo' was bouncing around me brain. Me inner voice was shouting at me DO NOT GET ON THAT PLANE YOU WILL BE SORRY GABRIEL!
I was feeling sick and as I turned to go outside where I could ring a taxi they saw me and started in me direction. I was unsure what to say or do. The voice was telling me to run but I did not. They came up to me all smiles and asked if I was "ready." I knew I'd never be ready but allowed meself to be escorted out to the pavement where the shiny new plane sat waiting.
Never has me inner voice been so strong as it was at that moment, but in spite of it, I strapped meself in and closed me eyes as I listened to the Cessna come to life. We began the slow taxi to takeoff and as we did I actually thought of trying to jump out but we were cleared and picking up speed and as we did (it felt faster than the last time), the lift seemed to wobble as we left the ground, then we started to rise and as we did I could see Weasil's eyelids fluttering, his head bobbing forward and back, and Amanda placing a hand on his arm as if in signal she needed to take over. And then WHAM he was out like a light!
Me inner voice shouted, "I TOLD YA SO! YOU ARE AN EEJIT! YOUR PILOT IS PASSED WAY THE HELL OUT! NO PARACHUTEEEEEEEE!!!"
I immediately unstrapped meself as Amanda ordered me to strap meself back in, but I couldn't I knelt behind and to the side of the Weasil and realised Amanda had taken control. That gave me pause to slap his silly face awake, but NO I couldn't reach him so NOTHING HAPPENED, he was out . . . way out! I crouched back on me heels getting hit instantly with panic, anxiety, angst, and TERROR!
"Don't you worry none Gabe, I've got this," Amanda said to me as if that would make everything better. It didn't.
"How are YOU going to bring down this couple of tons of metal from 1000 feet to the terra firma?" I asked way beyond upset.
"I can do this Gabe, you sit back and enjoy the ride. Oh and don't worry about Chris he'll be fine in a few minutes. As soon as we start our descent he should snap out of it."
"Enjoy the ride? Are you fecking kidding me?" I asked.
She made a sound like I was being a complete silly. Then she said, "Watch me land this baby Gabe, I promise I won't scratch the paintwork.
Oh yeah, THAT was reassuring. But it only got worse from there.
"Hum," Mrs. Weasil said to herself, but I caught it.
"Wha . . . what's the matter?" I asked in me panicky state.
"Seems while we were having lunch, the mechanics didn't refuel the plane."
"WHAT?!"
"I THINK we can just make it to Manchester." She said as I sat crunched and stunned. I do believe me heart stopped, I know me breathing did. I coughed and choked it back as I went to me seat, strapped meself in tightly, closed me eyes and started to pray to every deity I could think of. What started out as a quick way to get to an assignment so I could get back early and laze around had quickly become a nightmare scenario, of a passed-out pilot, hardly any fuel, novice co-pilot.
"We are approaching Manchester and I will inform them of our wee problem," Amanda said smiling at me over her shoulder, as if this was no life and death situation for her at least! Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! I was speechless with fright as I covertly took a peek below and wowey, wow, wow we were very high up.
"Okay Gabe, hold on we are going into a 90-degree angle to the runway."
Me eyes flipped open from being tightly shut so as not to see a thing on impact, but that statement had them wide open in horror. A 90-degree angle? Was she for real? I looked down, I didn't see the airport. Where was she landing? On a highway? Oh, drat that thought! She gave the plane's registration number and position along with her intention to land.
"Amanda? Where is the airport?" I asked.
"It's three miles to the runway there Gabe," she answered. "I think we have just enough fuel to get there."
Oh yeah, that was reassuring and the Weasil slept on while all this malarkey was going on.
"We are cruising at 100 knots Gabe, I need to drop to 70 for our approach. I am going to slowly reduce the power, so don't panic, I am not stalling the engine." She informed me chewing gum as she moved the controls.
"Can you chew gum and fly a plane, Amanda?" I asked her.
"I'm doin' it aren't I?" She laughed.
Oi!
I could see the plane's flaps come down from my window view and the drag caused the plane to lag and you know that feeling when your stomach drops with it? Yeah well, that was what I was experiencing along with extreme angst. And that happens why? Because as the brakes come on, the plane begins to descend and she tilts its down nose upwards as she pulls the controls gently towards her a huge shite-eating grin on her smug face while I sat there watching her feeling anything but safe.
"Gabe, don't worry I have us stable for descent and the nose is pointing in the direction of the horizon so we are good to go, or in this case land!" And she laughed, yes she did. I found nothing of humour in any of our situations. I gulped, thinking her a mad woman in goggles and a leather bomber hat.
"Now Gabe, we aren't a jumbo jet so I have to do all this landing stuff visually." She threw at me.
"Visually?" I looked out there was no fog, so there was that.
She got the go-ahead to make her final approach. The word "final" was banging around me brain with me inner voice yelling, "YOU BETTER BELIEVE ITS FINAL YOU DOLT!'
Amanda's voice cut the voice off with this gem, "This is it Gabe. Time to get this baby down and enjoy a debrief in the bar!"
"Huh?" I was confused, she was taking this like no big deal and it was a big deal. At least to me it was!
"We are approaching a tad too fast, Gabe. I have to raise the nose a tiny bit so hold on." She went back around and started her approach only this time she was moving too fast, and started to reduce the speed which was doing strange things to me nervous system, not to mention me stomach. She kept making small adjustments to the controls and when she was satisfied, she said (which further agitated me entire brain and body), "I'm about to plonk it down."
"Plonk? Are we coming in for a rough landing?" I croaked, barely able to get the words out.
We were about 40 feet from the ground coming on towards the runway when she eased the plane's nose up slowly and flipped a switch to idle. I sat there in wonder at what she was doing. But then she gradually eased the nose further up as I felt the wheels touch down and the front of the plane began to ease down on its own. She applied the brakes, slowing the plane to a taxi and down the runway we went to a parking spot. As that was occurring, the Weasil decided to rouse. Yes, he did. I could have hit him with something.
As she eased into the parking spot she turned the power off.
"Are you okay Chris? At least this time you didn't suffer a nosebleed." Amanda said solicitously to her groggy hubby.
"Nosebleed? He's prone to nosebleeds and he flies a small . . . excuse me he travels in a small plane?" I asked unstrapped and standing between their chairs. "Okay I am out of here," I said and opened the door and climbed out. You don't know how wonderful it was to feel the good green earth . . . correction, the good, snowy earth under me feet.
"Hey Gabby," Weasil called to me as he unstrapped himself and was attempting to stand up. He was swaying from his brain coming back into the real world and was not steady on his feet, but Amanda was helping him down.
"What, just what?" I asked rather tiffed at the two of them.
"IF dis trippy has whetted yer appetitie fer flyin', I'd be happy ta take yer arse up and teach ya how ta fly a plane."
I stood there speechless. Yeah right, the man who passes out at 1000 feet off the ground IS going to stay conscious long enough for him to teach me to fly a plane. Oh yeah right.
I left them in Manchester, I don't know where they are or what they are doing, but I learned me lesson I did. I now have two vehicles of transportation I won't be a passenger when Weasil is at the controls. A motor and now an airplane. I be done, so done!
I don't know if I can ever fly in a plane again, without all this . . . THIS coming back to haunt me. He has ruined not only driving a car for me, but now I doubt I will look at air travel in the same light EVER.
Gabe (still here and living to tell about it, oi!)
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
9 comments:
I am sorry but I had to laugh. Only you. LOL
LOL
sorry, but I HATE flying, so I don't know how he convinced you to get in a flying cracker box! did you at least get to keep the hat?LMAO
No, gees. It was bad enough THEY were dressed like that WHICH should have been a sight warning all in itself.
Well we all know Weasil flys by the seat of his pants but in this case it seems so quite literally lol
I think the next time he comes round, I'll lend you the hat and goggles and YOU go fly with him. Yes, the original fly boy, that's him, LOL . . . when he's CONSCIOUS.
Um I don't think so. Not wanting to experience a heart attack just yet :)~
come fly wit me, come fly awayyyyy, let's fly awayyyyyy heeheee ya know yer luved it!
I don't think so. Been there, done that, survived the flight and wearing the t-shirt.
WHAT? No vomit?LOL
Post a Comment