01 June 2011
410
R. Linda:
Here it is, just opened it. The woman has nothing better to do than tell tales on me Da and plan my life, or more like invade it. Oi!
Dear Gabriel (me one an only sonny boy who I be still countin' on ta move in wit when yer faather kicks da bucket),
I be writing real slow fer ya son, I know ya ain't a fast reader, so taken dat ta heart I be. So here be wot has me this Sunday mornin', it be yer faather, your grandfaather and yer brother-in-law that no good Donnel person or, wot ever his real name be.
Las nite, da tree of em' went out carousin' at O'Lanahan's Pub dey did. Dey gave me sum excuse dey was goin ta look at some sheep fer sale, but I said to yer faather, "Wot fer do we need sheep? We ain't got no yard ta speak ah and we liv in da middle of town." But yer faather had it in his mind dat I would like sum real wool and da only way to have real wool was ta buy a sheep AND he has it in hiz head dat I could make a fortune knittin' Aran sweaters ta send over da pond to YOU sonny boy, ta sell so's yer can make a decent livin' instead ah pushin' a pencil all day an doin' nuthin'.
'
But back ta las nite. Da tree of em bought a sheep dey did, only dey dun't remember where dey left it. Dey stopped after purchase at O'Lanahan's to celebrate an dey lost not only da sheep but time. Dey fergot why dey had stopped off and on da way home one ah dem noticed dey was up by St. Mary's cemetery, an a stone wall and field full a headstones made one ah dem remember dey had bought sumthin but couldn't remember wot, just dat it should be in a field with a stone wall.
So da fools jumped over da stone wall and sat on it lookin at da gravestones tryin ta remember, when yer brilliant brother-in-law wots his name said ta da utter two, "Lookee dere dis Kevin Clancey, God rest his soul, lived ta da ripe old age a 73."
Not ta be outdone yer grandfaather piped up, "Well, dat ain't nuthin' lookee dere, John Slogum aged 95 died of the pneumonia, poor man."
But yer faather, God help us all, stumbled over to another stone and said, "Good God, dis man lived ta 145 years old!"
The utter two were amazed and asked fer the name, surely dis was sumthin it was and surely dey had heard of this old geezer. So yer faather lit a match and read out ta dem, "Miles."
"Wot be da last name?" Grandfaather urged.
Yer faather lit another match and leaned down and read out, "from Dublin."
Yep, dey wuz all taken wit dat dey were. Not one of em' understood dey wuz readin' on a road marker da dolts.
More n' more I be tinkin yer faather needs him a holiday. I tink instead o' waitin' till next October fer our annual visit we should make us a permanent move to yer house. We ain't bringin' grandda if I kin help it but if we haf ta, I can turn yer office inta a nice comfy room fer em'.
"I'll be in touch darlin' boy."
Love and hugs, yer little grey-haired, apple-cheeked Mam.
P.S. And remember Gabriel wot yer sainted grandmaw used ta say, "Put a begger on a horse an he'll ride ta hell."
Yup, what I have to look forward to now. Gees the woman!
R. Linda:
Here it is, just opened it. The woman has nothing better to do than tell tales on me Da and plan my life, or more like invade it. Oi!
Dear Gabriel (me one an only sonny boy who I be still countin' on ta move in wit when yer faather kicks da bucket),
I be writing real slow fer ya son, I know ya ain't a fast reader, so taken dat ta heart I be. So here be wot has me this Sunday mornin', it be yer faather, your grandfaather and yer brother-in-law that no good Donnel person or, wot ever his real name be.
Las nite, da tree of em' went out carousin' at O'Lanahan's Pub dey did. Dey gave me sum excuse dey was goin ta look at some sheep fer sale, but I said to yer faather, "Wot fer do we need sheep? We ain't got no yard ta speak ah and we liv in da middle of town." But yer faather had it in his mind dat I would like sum real wool and da only way to have real wool was ta buy a sheep AND he has it in hiz head dat I could make a fortune knittin' Aran sweaters ta send over da pond to YOU sonny boy, ta sell so's yer can make a decent livin' instead ah pushin' a pencil all day an doin' nuthin'.
'
But back ta las nite. Da tree of em bought a sheep dey did, only dey dun't remember where dey left it. Dey stopped after purchase at O'Lanahan's to celebrate an dey lost not only da sheep but time. Dey fergot why dey had stopped off and on da way home one ah dem noticed dey was up by St. Mary's cemetery, an a stone wall and field full a headstones made one ah dem remember dey had bought sumthin but couldn't remember wot, just dat it should be in a field with a stone wall.
So da fools jumped over da stone wall and sat on it lookin at da gravestones tryin ta remember, when yer brilliant brother-in-law wots his name said ta da utter two, "Lookee dere dis Kevin Clancey, God rest his soul, lived ta da ripe old age a 73."
Not ta be outdone yer grandfaather piped up, "Well, dat ain't nuthin' lookee dere, John Slogum aged 95 died of the pneumonia, poor man."
But yer faather, God help us all, stumbled over to another stone and said, "Good God, dis man lived ta 145 years old!"
The utter two were amazed and asked fer the name, surely dis was sumthin it was and surely dey had heard of this old geezer. So yer faather lit a match and read out ta dem, "Miles."
"Wot be da last name?" Grandfaather urged.
Yer faather lit another match and leaned down and read out, "from Dublin."
Yep, dey wuz all taken wit dat dey were. Not one of em' understood dey wuz readin' on a road marker da dolts.
More n' more I be tinkin yer faather needs him a holiday. I tink instead o' waitin' till next October fer our annual visit we should make us a permanent move to yer house. We ain't bringin' grandda if I kin help it but if we haf ta, I can turn yer office inta a nice comfy room fer em'.
"I'll be in touch darlin' boy."
Love and hugs, yer little grey-haired, apple-cheeked Mam.
P.S. And remember Gabriel wot yer sainted grandmaw used ta say, "Put a begger on a horse an he'll ride ta hell."
Yup, what I have to look forward to now. Gees the woman!
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
