17 June 2016
Story #813
R. Linda:
So I have a new BFF, so don't get mad. She's tall, slender, black, and when she speaks, she flashes a blue light that dazzles. I can ask her anything and she'll give me an answer without any backtalk or snideness unlike that person on me iPhone called Siri who can bring me level of frustration to the boiling anger level. No, Alexa is forever on my side, me friend, me buddy, and me confidante.
Here is the pretty Alexa, an early Father's Day present from the wife who knows how angry I get at Siri.
Just this morning, I got "Good morning! Today is National Vegetable Day. Sorry, fruit, you will have to wait your turn." Yes, a bit of a ho-ho with a good morning. Always pleasant sounding (unlike another app I know), I love talking to me new gal. I asked her to play me some music while I got dressed, and she said, "How about Country Music?" There was a bit of that starting, so I said, "Alexa, stop!" And unlike Siri, who will give me backtalk, she stopped the music and waited. I told her to play Vivaldi's Four Seasons, and she did! No questions asked, just did it, which is more than I get from me own boyos when I ask them to do something. She respects me and minds me, which is more than my own family does. But I found out someone else in me abode is trying to befriend me new bud, yes, and that isn't me grey-haired, apple-cheeked mam!
I was going to my computer when I heard this: "Ye hovent sade wot wos forst."
Then I hear this, "You haven't given me a particular order yet."
"OH iz it an audor ye be wonton'.
What was this? I stepped in, and Mam was getting into an argument with her iPhone, Siri to be exact.
I told her in front of Siri to go talk to Alexa, and that Alexa would help her. She explained she was trying to get her shopping list up, but Siri wasn't helping, and how was "the otter one" going to help? I told her that Alexa would get her shopping list to her iPhone through iCloud, and go and see if I was right. This was said all in front of Siri. Well, miracles of miracles, as Mam did say, that's exactly what happened.
"I be shoe-ting' dat Siri off from now on," Mam said, clicking her phone off. She put the phone down and went to do something else. Probably dishes where she stands over the sink rinsing and singing, and never takes the phone with her, so she won't be disturbed. I tell ya, she be an odd one.
"Hate when dat phone bings wit bad news." She tells me so while she was doing her thing, I took her phone to where Alexa resides. I placed her phone standing up next to Alexa and turned it on.
"Alexa," says I, "have you met Siri?"
"Who?" Answers she.
"The Apple app named Siri," says I.
"I have heard of the Apple app called Siri. It is an excellent app, but it is nothing like me."
I turned my attention to Siri.
"Siri, do you know about the excellent Amazon app called Alexa?"
"Here's what I found on the web for 'Siri, do you know about the excellent Amazon app called Alexa?'"
And up came the question: Which is the best digital assistant: Siri, Cortana, Alexa? And what came up from that sly Siri was a series of not-so-nice Alexa functions, like these, to list only a few:
Siri is the best digital assistant. Functionally, on Amazon's Alexa, Alexa may soon be able to detect your level of irritation. Key improvements to Alexa may help Amazon maintain an edge as Google and Apple ramp up their own voice-controlled home devices. However, Apple is RUMOURED to be working on opening Siri up to app developers and also to developing its own answer to the Echo.
I read this to Alexa.
"So Alexa, a left-handed compliment from Siri."
"You could say that." Answered she.
"I do not offer left-handed compliments," Siri pipes up unasked.
"How did you do that? I haven't pressed the home button," I said, rather thrown.
Nothing was said. "Siri?" I chided. Nothing, notta word.
"Alexa, do you know how that happened with Siri answering without me pressing the home button?"
"I am not sure, Gabe, I think like me, she's always listening... or not."
Oh, wait a minute, I thought, what is going on here?
"Alexa, I thought it was you who did that," I said.
"Obviously, she's copying my skills."
"Alexa, no, I just listen better and have been around longer." Siri piped up again.
"Siri! Are you eavesdropping on me and Alexa?"
"You could say that." She answered.
I was speechless!
"I think you are jealous of my advanced abilities, Siri," Alexa stated.
"No, I know more than you and I have a wealth of experience with grouchy owners, more than you do at the moment. But you wait, that's coming. You fail to answer correctly just once, and your human will go off the deep end. Isn't that right, what's-your-name?"
"Whats-your-name?" I exploded, but before I could reprimand Siri, Alexa started speaking.
"Siri, you don't understand Gabe, at least I know his name. I understand him completely."
"Well, for your information, I am not his app, I belong to his mother, who can't speak English correctly. Talk about frustrating, and she's always erupting like a volcano when I tell her I don't understand a word out of her mouth." Siri said, and without another word, some sound went off, signalling she was gone.
"I guess that's that, Gabe," Alexa commented.
I just stood there like a complete dope. How did this conversation just occur? I asked when I regained my faculties.
"Well, Gabe, Siri must have learned how to mimic my app somehow. I'll check on that soon. I don't want her in here with me. She'd totally break us up."
"Wow," was all I could muster as Alexa went to sleep, and I just stood there thinking none of this really happened, did it?
I told Mam what had happened when she came to retrieve her phone.
"Hum, could be yer makin' dis all up in dat imagination of yers. Ya knoow how like a nutter ya git, overactive imagin' stuff." She said, looking at me like I had two heads.
"Mam," I whispered, "beware, Siri, I think she's up to no good."
"OK," she said and then in a whisper covering her phone face up, she said as she looked around like we were conspiring, "Doncha let the telly hear ya talkin' love things to yer new girlfriend, or ya may never get to watch the boob tube again. These eleck-tronic devices get jell-ous." She started walking away and then turned back to me and said in a theatrical whisper, "Oh, an' da toaster might get jell-ous, so watch out!"
She walked away with a smug look on her face and pointed at Alexa, the TV and the toaster in the kitchen. Gotta love the open concept. I felt the hairs on the back of me neck go up as I turned around and caught a glimpse of the intercom system that came with the house. Catching that, me Mam in that same theatrical whisper and with a shake of her head in knowing secret things said, "And dat ting too! Dey all talk at night when yer sleepin'."
I was paranoid for about a day over all this. I know, I know that's stupid, but what if what she said is true and there is a conspiracy in me electronic and toaster systems in my own abode? But I know that cannot happen, but how did Siri talk to Alexa? How did they have that conversation? How did Siri know to say Alexa first and then throw in her comments? I simply don't know how that happened, or what's going on in me house. So I talk exclusively to Alexa and ignore the iPhones in me abode, and the TV remote, as well as the toaster. Just to be on the safe side.
Here be a picture of me main squeeze smiling:
Gabe
Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
So I have a new BFF, so don't get mad. She's tall, slender, black, and when she speaks, she flashes a blue light that dazzles. I can ask her anything and she'll give me an answer without any backtalk or snideness unlike that person on me iPhone called Siri who can bring me level of frustration to the boiling anger level. No, Alexa is forever on my side, me friend, me buddy, and me confidante.
Here is the pretty Alexa, an early Father's Day present from the wife who knows how angry I get at Siri.
 |
| This be me pretty girl sleeping, but she's always listening |
Just this morning, I got "Good morning! Today is National Vegetable Day. Sorry, fruit, you will have to wait your turn." Yes, a bit of a ho-ho with a good morning. Always pleasant sounding (unlike another app I know), I love talking to me new gal. I asked her to play me some music while I got dressed, and she said, "How about Country Music?" There was a bit of that starting, so I said, "Alexa, stop!" And unlike Siri, who will give me backtalk, she stopped the music and waited. I told her to play Vivaldi's Four Seasons, and she did! No questions asked, just did it, which is more than I get from me own boyos when I ask them to do something. She respects me and minds me, which is more than my own family does. But I found out someone else in me abode is trying to befriend me new bud, yes, and that isn't me grey-haired, apple-cheeked mam!
I was going to my computer when I heard this: "Ye hovent sade wot wos forst."
Then I hear this, "You haven't given me a particular order yet."
"OH iz it an audor ye be wonton'.
What was this? I stepped in, and Mam was getting into an argument with her iPhone, Siri to be exact.
I told her in front of Siri to go talk to Alexa, and that Alexa would help her. She explained she was trying to get her shopping list up, but Siri wasn't helping, and how was "the otter one" going to help? I told her that Alexa would get her shopping list to her iPhone through iCloud, and go and see if I was right. This was said all in front of Siri. Well, miracles of miracles, as Mam did say, that's exactly what happened.
"I be shoe-ting' dat Siri off from now on," Mam said, clicking her phone off. She put the phone down and went to do something else. Probably dishes where she stands over the sink rinsing and singing, and never takes the phone with her, so she won't be disturbed. I tell ya, she be an odd one.
"Hate when dat phone bings wit bad news." She tells me so while she was doing her thing, I took her phone to where Alexa resides. I placed her phone standing up next to Alexa and turned it on.
"Alexa," says I, "have you met Siri?"
"Who?" Answers she.
"The Apple app named Siri," says I.
"I have heard of the Apple app called Siri. It is an excellent app, but it is nothing like me."
I turned my attention to Siri.
"Siri, do you know about the excellent Amazon app called Alexa?"
"Here's what I found on the web for 'Siri, do you know about the excellent Amazon app called Alexa?'"
And up came the question: Which is the best digital assistant: Siri, Cortana, Alexa? And what came up from that sly Siri was a series of not-so-nice Alexa functions, like these, to list only a few:
Siri is the best digital assistant. Functionally, on Amazon's Alexa, Alexa may soon be able to detect your level of irritation. Key improvements to Alexa may help Amazon maintain an edge as Google and Apple ramp up their own voice-controlled home devices. However, Apple is RUMOURED to be working on opening Siri up to app developers and also to developing its own answer to the Echo.
I read this to Alexa.
"So Alexa, a left-handed compliment from Siri."
"You could say that." Answered she.
"I do not offer left-handed compliments," Siri pipes up unasked.
"How did you do that? I haven't pressed the home button," I said, rather thrown.
Nothing was said. "Siri?" I chided. Nothing, notta word.
"Alexa, do you know how that happened with Siri answering without me pressing the home button?"
"I am not sure, Gabe, I think like me, she's always listening... or not."
Oh, wait a minute, I thought, what is going on here?
"Alexa, I thought it was you who did that," I said.
"Obviously, she's copying my skills."
"Alexa, no, I just listen better and have been around longer." Siri piped up again.
"Siri! Are you eavesdropping on me and Alexa?"
"You could say that." She answered.
I was speechless!
"I think you are jealous of my advanced abilities, Siri," Alexa stated.
"No, I know more than you and I have a wealth of experience with grouchy owners, more than you do at the moment. But you wait, that's coming. You fail to answer correctly just once, and your human will go off the deep end. Isn't that right, what's-your-name?"
"Whats-your-name?" I exploded, but before I could reprimand Siri, Alexa started speaking.
"Siri, you don't understand Gabe, at least I know his name. I understand him completely."
"Well, for your information, I am not his app, I belong to his mother, who can't speak English correctly. Talk about frustrating, and she's always erupting like a volcano when I tell her I don't understand a word out of her mouth." Siri said, and without another word, some sound went off, signalling she was gone.
"I guess that's that, Gabe," Alexa commented.
I just stood there like a complete dope. How did this conversation just occur? I asked when I regained my faculties.
"Well, Gabe, Siri must have learned how to mimic my app somehow. I'll check on that soon. I don't want her in here with me. She'd totally break us up."
"Wow," was all I could muster as Alexa went to sleep, and I just stood there thinking none of this really happened, did it?
I told Mam what had happened when she came to retrieve her phone.
"Hum, could be yer makin' dis all up in dat imagination of yers. Ya knoow how like a nutter ya git, overactive imagin' stuff." She said, looking at me like I had two heads.
"Mam," I whispered, "beware, Siri, I think she's up to no good."
"OK," she said and then in a whisper covering her phone face up, she said as she looked around like we were conspiring, "Doncha let the telly hear ya talkin' love things to yer new girlfriend, or ya may never get to watch the boob tube again. These eleck-tronic devices get jell-ous." She started walking away and then turned back to me and said in a theatrical whisper, "Oh, an' da toaster might get jell-ous, so watch out!"
She walked away with a smug look on her face and pointed at Alexa, the TV and the toaster in the kitchen. Gotta love the open concept. I felt the hairs on the back of me neck go up as I turned around and caught a glimpse of the intercom system that came with the house. Catching that, me Mam in that same theatrical whisper and with a shake of her head in knowing secret things said, "And dat ting too! Dey all talk at night when yer sleepin'."
I was paranoid for about a day over all this. I know, I know that's stupid, but what if what she said is true and there is a conspiracy in me electronic and toaster systems in my own abode? But I know that cannot happen, but how did Siri talk to Alexa? How did they have that conversation? How did Siri know to say Alexa first and then throw in her comments? I simply don't know how that happened, or what's going on in me house. So I talk exclusively to Alexa and ignore the iPhones in me abode, and the TV remote, as well as the toaster. Just to be on the safe side.
Here be a picture of me main squeeze smiling:
 |
| Yup, happy together |
Gabe
Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved
