Christmas Mischief

25 January 2024

1106

R. Linda:

Christmas has been over, decorations put away, the credit card is recuperating, and all would seem right with the new year. However, there was one thing we couldn't find. We have (like many families) an elf on a shelf. Our elf is handmade by me sainted, little apple-cheeked, grey-haired Mam. It was just last week that Tonya remembered she hadn't seen the elf to be put up until next year's Christmas spying season. She asked me covertly if I had put him up. I did not put him up and yes, now that I thought about it, I hadn't seen him.

She asked Mam on the side if she had seen the elf. No, no she had not come to think about it. Hum. Well, we went to the attic and looked to make sure he wasn't up there because maybe Mam had a memory lapse (she is getting on) and perhaps he was up there and she just didn't remember. Nothing turned up that wasn't supposed to be there, but Mr. Elf On A Shelf was decidedly not among the ornaments.

This morning there was a delayed opening at school, so remembering the missing elf I asked each one separately if they had seen him. The eldest and the middle child know he is a decoration but the youngest thinks he really has a direct line to Santa. I knew the middle child, Guido had been throwing the elfster around (Elfster- Guido's name for him) so I was suspicious he had him hidden somewhere just to spring him on the wee one at Easter. Guid is a jokester if ever there was one. Well, no, Guido said, he hadn't seen him but thought the wee one was the last to be seen with the elfster.

I ran into O'Hare on his way to college (yes, can you believe it! The young kiddo graduated high school in January and has started college, so proud of him), and he said he didn't know anything about the elf's whereabouts.

That left the wee one, who denied any knowledge of the elf but had lots of ideas where he had gone. Like he returned with Santa on Christmas Eve to the North Pole, or, he got thrown out with the wrapping paper (oh, dread the thought), or he got tired of being a spy for Santa and retired. Un-huh.

Well, just an hour ago, Mam was getting a few canning jars to make some jam, when what did she come across? This:

Yes, the youngest jammed the elfster in a Mason Jar

Yes, way back on the deep dark shelves of the back pantry was this poor crushed elfster. The wee one was guilty of elfacide! The logic was if he's sealed in a jar he can't spy and blab to Santa what mischief the wee one is up to around the holidays. 

I tell ya, kiddos have ingenious methods to their madness. I'd never have thought to do such a thing. No, really I wouldn't. Well, maybe I would.

Gabe

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