How does Regan Dulles O'Sullivan sound?

18 March 2013

644

R. Linda:

So dere I was sitten' at da table laughin' and haffen a good tyme of it when da wife announces to all assembled we be expectin' a . . .  wait for it . . . another boyo! I had known about dis 'ere fer a few monts now I did, and the whole tyme of it I wus sayin' ta da wife I wus, "Ye knoe dis be da beginnin' of a basketball team, a few more boyos an we kin start a game fer real wit oar very own team!"

Okay, why am I writing in an Irish accent? Because as usual when I get stressed, I go right back home to the old sod I do. So here it is, Tonya says to me unsuspecting self a few months back, "Gabriel, I have news! You are going to be a dad for the third time. And THIS time it is a girl!"

I had been sitting in the living room after the kiddos had gone to bed, after a particularly exhausting evening of the two of them kicking the shite out of each other, and as I was vegging in front of the telly herself sits down and lays this news on me. Like after the evening we just had, this would be good news. I tell ya! At first, I thought she was kidding, but one look at the sparkle in her eye and I knew she wasn't. Okay, I say, another kiddo to the clan, me parents and especially YOUR mother will be happy to have the news. When be the new wee one arriving I asked.

"Well, August," says she.

"Oi, we just donated all the baby stuff to the Good Will," I remembered and thought for joy, here we get to start from scratch.

"Well, it'll be a girl this time, so . . ."

"How do you know that?" I asked confused it be too early to know.

"I just do." Says she.

"Even so, it won't matter, yellow or green and blue and pink, won't matter until it be older."

"It matters to me." Says she and that be that.

So for months now before leaving for work I pat her tummy and say, "How's me wee footballer?" and instantly I be corrected with, "How's your wee daughter you mean."

"No, boyo." I smile and off I go to the shout of "GIRL!"

Miss Tonya has been out in the stores at the mall and telling me all about the adorable things they had for girls on Valentine's Day. "Oh Gabe, there was a little red heart dress . . . I almost bought it." Such as that. What really scared me was the bet she wanted to make, because she had me convinced it was a girl.

"Twenty dollars it's a girl."

I thought about it, but she seemed so certain of it, but I was tempted, but then . . .

"Nuhhh no. Not gonna bet wit ye." I said sure she knew it instinctively and I just couldn't bring meself to enter into it, because I was getting more and more uncertain it wasn't a boy. NOW I wish I had bet her bad self because I was right!

We have been waiting for the ultra-sound to find out for sure, boy or girl and that came last Friday. We figured as soon as we knew for sure, we'd announce the new arrival's coming.

Now Tonya had me quite convinced by then the babe was a girl. She and her mother had been bandying about Irish girl names and somehow had ended up with a name that was anything but, Delilah Katrina O'Sullivan. I was like WHAT when I heard it. So in me heart of hearts I was hoping for a boy, much easier to come up with a name that actually rolled off the tongue with O'Sullivan.

"Do you want to come with me?" She says to me a week before the ultrasound.

"Uh . . . nah," I said, feeling frightened to death to find out it was Delilah Katrina O'Sullivan gestating in there.

"Oh, coward. You need to come with me to understand this is REAL."

"I know it be real." Says I trying to ignore her and look busy.

"You're going and that's that." Says she and walks off.

The day arrived, I took off from work that morning and as we got ready to head out I said to the baby bump, "So me boyo look sharp we are going to get a gander at the jewels."

"What? Is that anything to say to your baby girl?"

"Not a girl Ton, it be a boy."

"Oh you of little faith, it's a girl, think PINK O'Sullivan." Says she and off we go.

Once we are in the room with the technician, the joking about over, we are ready to go. The gel is on, the sensor is ready, the screen is glowing and there in all his glory, showing off his stuff right off is HIM. Yup, and before the tech can say a word, Tonya has noticed and realises and is not happy.

"You don't have to tell me, I can see that's a boy," she says to the woman looking at her with all the sympathy in the world. "This makes three boys! I wanted a little girl," and then it was wah wah wah. The tears came and the disappointment hit, and I tried to say things like, "Boys are less expensive than girls," that didn't go over well, and then I said, "Our two will be so pleased," and she countered that with "No, they wanted a little sister," and I was at me wits end trying to reassure her broken heart, but then she started laughing and said, "Oh what the hell, it's a boy so well name it Arnold Donald O'Sullivan!"

"Whoa whoa wait one minute dere Tonya. No son of mine will be called dat!" I was floored.

"Then Baylor Andrew Dugel O'Sullivan. We'll call him BAD for short. Better than your airport names."

"Oh no, no, no, no we won't." Where does she come up with these names? "Just look at em' up on dat screen dere Tonya, THAT does not look like an Arnold Donald or a Baylor Andrew Dugel to me!"

Meanwhile, the techie is moving the sensor and there be the wee babe in colour on the screen which put an end to me chat because I had only seen the black and white images so to see colour was a treat it was.

"See, he is good with that name," she smiled at the techie.

"Now Tonya . . . NO." I said watching his bad self kicking and stretching, his mam smiling and making mothering sounds, and murmuring how now she knows what he's doing. "See dat Tonya, a footballer. For sure." I said. I couldn't take me eyes off him and realised Tonya was watching me with an adorable look in her eyes. Well, it was a moment it was.

Her doctor came in a few minutes later and there was the confirmation, "Oh you are having a boy!"

And then the tears welled up again and Tonya was boohooing a wee bit and telling us it was alright, but this was the last one and . . . and . . .

"AND? Last one?" I said rather stunned.

"Yes, I think so. I just know this is it, no more chance for a girl." And she turns to the two women and says, "He only makes boys." Oh boo-hoo-hoo! Gees the woman.

"It be all me fault, yes it be," I said.

"Do you notice how big the baby is?" Doctor asked us. She had taken the sensor and was trying to get himself to move so she could get a better view of him. "Look he's going to be a tall one."

As the session ended the tears turned to laughter then back to tears. I tell ya the wife was an emotional mess she was. I was very happy but I pretended to be sad, but I really, really wasn't.

"Just think, tall, dark and handsome," her doctor said, and of course that got a big old grin on me stupid face, but I couldn't help it. "You know Tonya this boy could be a blessing in disguise for whatever unknown reason and as time moves on you may be very happy he is a he."

Wow, I thought, why didn't I come up with THAT? 

So yesterday was the big announcement, the O'Sullivan family be expanding to one more male. And he won't be named Arnold or Donald, or BAD, Caleb, or Jesse. Just to let you know. I be thinking on another airport name, like Dulles or Regan. There ya go, that last one, Regan Dulles O'Sullivan! That's the one, now I just have to tell the wife.

Gabe
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