08 May 2011
397
R. Linda:
So MOTHERS DAY oh yea! That can only mean that Gabriel Aloysius O'Sullivan be condemned to yard work! It be the one day of the year I cringe. Be it rain or shine I be out at the garden centre with the wife while she picks out plants. After a hefty bill to pay for plants, potting soil, fertiliser, and new garden implements (the old ones work but they "are rusty" and we just can't have rusty), we are off for home so she can point out all the places she wants the new plants planted, all those many holes I have to dig with trowel, pick and shovel, yes, it be nose to the outdoor grindstone for me!
Oi, the rocks, the clay, the dirt, the weeds, the poison ivy! But every year this be what happens and lucky me gets not only to do all THAT but then clean up the empty plant buckets, put the tools away, clean up the potting soil bags, water it all and mostly be dead on me feet UNTIL dinner is to be served, yes, I do THAT too! I at least get a shower in between me next duties to help revive me tired mind and body. Then I get to fire up the grill, marinate steaks, fix baked potatoes, make a salad, find the dressing, set the table and run up to me neighbour's house to pick up the cake I keep out of sight every year so SHE won't see it (and I don't know why I do that, it is so stupid because she knows what flavour it be), and then rush back, flip the steaks, make sure the children are behaving while I run into the kitchen and make an Irish Sour for her highness who is usually (as is her habit after perusing the new plantings) of sitting on the swing enjoying the manor! YUP, just a wee look at what I do every May, the one Sunday of the year, the only one I really, really detest.
SO once yours truly has served everyone he also gets to clean it all up. Yes, I do! All the plates and food I laid out and prepared, I get to take back inside and wash and put up. OH YEA ME! Then I get more plates, more forks, a cake knife and throw on the coffee while I'm at it. I de-box the cake and off I go back to the deck and she cuts it and she actually puts it on the plates while I pour coffee and get milk for the kiddos. THEN the big part of HER day is opening presents! YES IT IS! For the joy of it.
While she's cutting O'Hare another piece of pina colada cake I be running in for the boyos gifts to her. Yes, I did. And they are all wrapped because I have to wrap, she doesn't like things not wrapped and she doesn't like the party bags where you can sort of get away with not wrapping, but well, there I come with the gifts -- WRAPPED.
Now here is something you don't know about me classy wife. She COLLECTS Harry Potter stuff. Oh yes she does, and she'd kill me to know I am telling you her secret. YUP. So she wanted the Deathly Hallows she did. She got for Christmas the Sorcerer's Stone, and she got for her birthday Dumbledore's wand, so the only thing missing was the invisible cloak! So, Guido wanted to give her Harry's wand, so he did and she was so pleased to have THAT that she informed me I needed to get the very expensive wand display so she could put all her wands in it. She now has four. I gave her the Time Changer necklace (and all those plants) and O'Hare gave her the Invisible Cloak. Deathly Hallows is complete!
O'Hare's was the last box she opened. I wish I had filmed it. She tore into the wrapping thinking she knew it just had to be that cloak and held the box top and looked at me all overjoyed, and I be thinking yup, $400 worth of stupid joy but OK, so she opened it and looked into the bright yellow tissue paper and sees . . . wait for it . . . NOTHING!
I say to her, "So Ton, you like it?"
She looked up at me with a questioning look. She looked back into the box her brow creased in consternation and she looked back up at me and mouths, "Where is it?"
I came over and looked inside and sure enough, looked like an empty box to me. I whispered to her as she looked into the bright and shining face of O'Hare, "It's in there."
"It is?" She said through her teeth like she was smiling and not talking.
"It's invisible," I said.
She looked up at me like I was either nuts or she was going to rip my head off.
"Mummy da ya like it?" O'Hare says to her all smiles, gaining her attention.
She looks back into the box and hesitates and nods with a funny smile on her face as she runs her hand under the tissue paper thinking the thing is underneath it, but no, seems empty. She looks at me as if to say what is going on here, is this a joke?
"O'Hare you outdid yourself," says I.
"Oh Mummy kin I try it on, pulleseeee," he whines screwing up his face, half his body on the table.
"Let him he won't harm it," I say and she now is looking at the two of us like she's concerned we have both lost our minds. Silently she hands the box over to the young lad and he very gently lifts out an invisible cloak, her watching intently. I mean you would think you could see it the way he did it. Then, he held it up and said to me, "Wow Da you can't see nothin. COOL!" And then very gently he makes like he's folding it and puts it back in the box. Meanwhile, Tonya is sitting deadly still, biting her bottom lip thinking someone in the room is nuts and she's hoping it isn't her.
Poor darlin' we had her going she really wasn't sure though she knew better. So as not to have O'Hare and meself in the doggy house, I went in and got her the box that had the stupid thing inside. I lucked out Lois knew I was looking for one but didn't want to pay $400 for it (I mean come on) and she found one on E-bay that cost me next to nothing. So Tonya has her invisible Harry cloak and is very happy. Silly thing she be.
O'Hare and I had rehearsed that charade for an hour to get it down and I will say the lad is a natural magician. If I wasn't in on the joke, I'd have second-guessed my logical reasoning too. I know I be teaching him terrible things so young, but it was worth it to see the look on her face. Yes, revenge is sweet. I don't dig holes all day without a little of that on the plate.
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
So MOTHERS DAY oh yea! That can only mean that Gabriel Aloysius O'Sullivan be condemned to yard work! It be the one day of the year I cringe. Be it rain or shine I be out at the garden centre with the wife while she picks out plants. After a hefty bill to pay for plants, potting soil, fertiliser, and new garden implements (the old ones work but they "are rusty" and we just can't have rusty), we are off for home so she can point out all the places she wants the new plants planted, all those many holes I have to dig with trowel, pick and shovel, yes, it be nose to the outdoor grindstone for me!
Oi, the rocks, the clay, the dirt, the weeds, the poison ivy! But every year this be what happens and lucky me gets not only to do all THAT but then clean up the empty plant buckets, put the tools away, clean up the potting soil bags, water it all and mostly be dead on me feet UNTIL dinner is to be served, yes, I do THAT too! I at least get a shower in between me next duties to help revive me tired mind and body. Then I get to fire up the grill, marinate steaks, fix baked potatoes, make a salad, find the dressing, set the table and run up to me neighbour's house to pick up the cake I keep out of sight every year so SHE won't see it (and I don't know why I do that, it is so stupid because she knows what flavour it be), and then rush back, flip the steaks, make sure the children are behaving while I run into the kitchen and make an Irish Sour for her highness who is usually (as is her habit after perusing the new plantings) of sitting on the swing enjoying the manor! YUP, just a wee look at what I do every May, the one Sunday of the year, the only one I really, really detest.
SO once yours truly has served everyone he also gets to clean it all up. Yes, I do! All the plates and food I laid out and prepared, I get to take back inside and wash and put up. OH YEA ME! Then I get more plates, more forks, a cake knife and throw on the coffee while I'm at it. I de-box the cake and off I go back to the deck and she cuts it and she actually puts it on the plates while I pour coffee and get milk for the kiddos. THEN the big part of HER day is opening presents! YES IT IS! For the joy of it.
While she's cutting O'Hare another piece of pina colada cake I be running in for the boyos gifts to her. Yes, I did. And they are all wrapped because I have to wrap, she doesn't like things not wrapped and she doesn't like the party bags where you can sort of get away with not wrapping, but well, there I come with the gifts -- WRAPPED.
Now here is something you don't know about me classy wife. She COLLECTS Harry Potter stuff. Oh yes she does, and she'd kill me to know I am telling you her secret. YUP. So she wanted the Deathly Hallows she did. She got for Christmas the Sorcerer's Stone, and she got for her birthday Dumbledore's wand, so the only thing missing was the invisible cloak! So, Guido wanted to give her Harry's wand, so he did and she was so pleased to have THAT that she informed me I needed to get the very expensive wand display so she could put all her wands in it. She now has four. I gave her the Time Changer necklace (and all those plants) and O'Hare gave her the Invisible Cloak. Deathly Hallows is complete!
O'Hare's was the last box she opened. I wish I had filmed it. She tore into the wrapping thinking she knew it just had to be that cloak and held the box top and looked at me all overjoyed, and I be thinking yup, $400 worth of stupid joy but OK, so she opened it and looked into the bright yellow tissue paper and sees . . . wait for it . . . NOTHING!
I say to her, "So Ton, you like it?"
She looked up at me with a questioning look. She looked back into the box her brow creased in consternation and she looked back up at me and mouths, "Where is it?"
I came over and looked inside and sure enough, looked like an empty box to me. I whispered to her as she looked into the bright and shining face of O'Hare, "It's in there."
"It is?" She said through her teeth like she was smiling and not talking.
"It's invisible," I said.
She looked up at me like I was either nuts or she was going to rip my head off.
"Mummy da ya like it?" O'Hare says to her all smiles, gaining her attention.
She looks back into the box and hesitates and nods with a funny smile on her face as she runs her hand under the tissue paper thinking the thing is underneath it, but no, seems empty. She looks at me as if to say what is going on here, is this a joke?
"O'Hare you outdid yourself," says I.
"Oh Mummy kin I try it on, pulleseeee," he whines screwing up his face, half his body on the table.
"Let him he won't harm it," I say and she now is looking at the two of us like she's concerned we have both lost our minds. Silently she hands the box over to the young lad and he very gently lifts out an invisible cloak, her watching intently. I mean you would think you could see it the way he did it. Then, he held it up and said to me, "Wow Da you can't see nothin. COOL!" And then very gently he makes like he's folding it and puts it back in the box. Meanwhile, Tonya is sitting deadly still, biting her bottom lip thinking someone in the room is nuts and she's hoping it isn't her.
Poor darlin' we had her going she really wasn't sure though she knew better. So as not to have O'Hare and meself in the doggy house, I went in and got her the box that had the stupid thing inside. I lucked out Lois knew I was looking for one but didn't want to pay $400 for it (I mean come on) and she found one on E-bay that cost me next to nothing. So Tonya has her invisible Harry cloak and is very happy. Silly thing she be.
O'Hare and I had rehearsed that charade for an hour to get it down and I will say the lad is a natural magician. If I wasn't in on the joke, I'd have second-guessed my logical reasoning too. I know I be teaching him terrible things so young, but it was worth it to see the look on her face. Yes, revenge is sweet. I don't dig holes all day without a little of that on the plate.
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
2 comments:
What ever happened to the days of goofy dishes made of clay?LMAO
The one you have to say is BEAUTIFUL?
I'd better shut up, I got my favorite thing, indoor plants. Lately, I seem to be running a plant mortuary.sigh
i gotz a invisibilitee cloak yeppers i duz an datz y ya dunt seez me hehee
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