18
R. Linda:
I had me second date with the fair Chloe last night. We had gone to the flicks to see THE TWO TOWERS. The movie is some three hours long, and we both were exhausted from watching the battle scenes. Those were quite exciting and ferocious, and being we were in one of those theatres where the screen wraps around, we felt we were part of the action. The only seats we could get were near the front, so was more than real. We found we were ducking some of the sword swings and started laughing at the absurdity of it. The people behind us did not appreciate our humour and pelted us with popcorn. They finally upped and left, in disgust, which sent us into fits of laughter like two fools.
The flick was late in getting out, so we decided to go to her place for a cup of coffee and rehash the movie. Once we got there, we decided we were hungry and would forego the coffee for something heavier. In perusing the freezer and fridge, we found nothing we wanted. I said to her I was in the mood for pizza and she quickly turned from her search for edibles and said, "Hey, I know a place that's open all night and delivers, but I want Chinese!" She knew of a Chinese place that delivers as well, so we called both. We thought it would be fun to break out a wine bottle and go Italia-Chinese.
"Great," I said, and just as she replaced the receiver, there was a great commotion in the hallway. Seems the lady next door was calling for help. We ran to see what was the matter and we found the neighbour woman gasping and clutching her chest. It was clear she was in some distress. We got her back inside her apartment and I ran for the phone and dialed 911. We had got her to the couch, laid her down and covered her with a throw. She was laboured in her breathing, and clammy to the touch. Her face was red and she was perspiring, but we kept the throw on her because Chloe said if she goes into shock we needed to keep her warm. I don't know much about those things, so I tried to help any way I could.
Chloe kept looking at her watch and saying comforting things to the neighbour, a Mrs. Caster, as I would go from them to the window to look out for the EMS van. After 10 minutes of this a white van pulled up and I went rushing to open the door. I heard one set of footfalls and discovered it was the pizza delivery boy with our food. I groped in me pockets for me bill clip and paid him. He set the box down on Mrs. Caster's coffee table and went over to where she was not exactly relaxing on the couch.
"Cool dude," he said, "I've never seen something like this before. Heart attack or stroke?"
I wanted to hit him up the side of the head for being so callous, but realised he didn't know any better. Mrs. Caster's eyelids fluttered when she heard what he said and she started moaning and groaning, becoming distressed all over again.
Chloe had looked over her shoulder and asked, "Can you just leave please?" The pizza man looked offended and shrugged his shoulders and continued to stand there with hands in pockets mesmerised.
I looked at me watch and noticed it was now 14 minutes since we had called for the pizza and 15 since the call to the EMS. A van came screeching to a halt and I ran to the window but it was under the eaves so I couldn't see it. I heard heavy footsteps running up the stairs in a hurry and knew it was the emergency personnel.
I ran for the door again and there with a white bag, was a Chinese lad who said, "Is this apartment 334? I bring food from Suo Yung Chens, mysteriously delicious Chinese food." He flashed a bright smile. I said it was 335, but he had it right, we were in the next door apartment. I groped in me pockets for me bill clip, settled the bill and as I went to put the bag down, found he was standing next to the pizza delivery guy who was saying, "Dude, ya gotta see this. She's had some kinda stroke or something. Cool huh?"
I was momentarily taken aback as I watched the Chinese lad look down and say, "Nah, that is a case of mile (he meant mild) infaction (infraction) of the art (heart) and otteries (arteries), my grandma had that and her art (heart stopped beating for a faction (fraction) of a second, so she was technically DEAD." To which Mrs. Caster started moaning louder, her eyes got wider and she was struggling to get up, I think to strangle the Chinese lad.
I ordered them both out.
"Dude, we can help maybe give her some wine, the alcohol will shock her heart," offered the pizza guy not to be outdone by the Chinese lad's knowledge of mild cardiac infractions!
"You'll kill her you do that," offered the Chinese lad. "You don't give her nothing because she could yoke (choke) and block her aways (airways)."
"OUT!!!" I shouted, "Out, out, out. NOW!"
I didn't hear the EMS van, nor the footfalls running up the stairs, but at the last minute I heard them talking as they entered the apartment. The medical van had pulled up a total of 30 minutes later, and the hospital was closer than the pizza place and Suo Yung Chens.
They took Mrs. Caster off, and I am happy to report she had a mild case of indigestion and is fine. The two delivery lads stood there in the way watching the action as the EMS workers put an oxygen mask on Mrs Caster and examined her with a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. I finally physically removed them with the protests of, "Dude! I'm going," and "I told you it was a art (heart) episode."
I said to the Chinese lad, "Thank you doctor, you can leave now."
As to Chloe and I, we sat munching cold pizza and equally cold Chinese with cokes, marveling that one could call for a pizza and Chinese and have it delivered before the Emergency Medical Services could respond to an emergency.
"Remind me never to have a life threatening accident," I said munching. "But order me a pizza at the same time so I have something to occupy me while waiting."
Chloe smiled, "And, I won't forget the Chinese because that comes with a budding doctor without a license."
That ended me second date with the fair maiden from me office. Me neck hurts this morning from craning it to look at the movie screen. Maybe the Chinese lad would like to deliver me some mysteriously delicious won ton and give me neck an ortho adjustment. OR NOT.
Gabe
Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
I had me second date with the fair Chloe last night. We had gone to the flicks to see THE TWO TOWERS. The movie is some three hours long, and we both were exhausted from watching the battle scenes. Those were quite exciting and ferocious, and being we were in one of those theatres where the screen wraps around, we felt we were part of the action. The only seats we could get were near the front, so was more than real. We found we were ducking some of the sword swings and started laughing at the absurdity of it. The people behind us did not appreciate our humour and pelted us with popcorn. They finally upped and left, in disgust, which sent us into fits of laughter like two fools.
The flick was late in getting out, so we decided to go to her place for a cup of coffee and rehash the movie. Once we got there, we decided we were hungry and would forego the coffee for something heavier. In perusing the freezer and fridge, we found nothing we wanted. I said to her I was in the mood for pizza and she quickly turned from her search for edibles and said, "Hey, I know a place that's open all night and delivers, but I want Chinese!" She knew of a Chinese place that delivers as well, so we called both. We thought it would be fun to break out a wine bottle and go Italia-Chinese.
"Great," I said, and just as she replaced the receiver, there was a great commotion in the hallway. Seems the lady next door was calling for help. We ran to see what was the matter and we found the neighbour woman gasping and clutching her chest. It was clear she was in some distress. We got her back inside her apartment and I ran for the phone and dialed 911. We had got her to the couch, laid her down and covered her with a throw. She was laboured in her breathing, and clammy to the touch. Her face was red and she was perspiring, but we kept the throw on her because Chloe said if she goes into shock we needed to keep her warm. I don't know much about those things, so I tried to help any way I could.
Chloe kept looking at her watch and saying comforting things to the neighbour, a Mrs. Caster, as I would go from them to the window to look out for the EMS van. After 10 minutes of this a white van pulled up and I went rushing to open the door. I heard one set of footfalls and discovered it was the pizza delivery boy with our food. I groped in me pockets for me bill clip and paid him. He set the box down on Mrs. Caster's coffee table and went over to where she was not exactly relaxing on the couch.
"Cool dude," he said, "I've never seen something like this before. Heart attack or stroke?"
I wanted to hit him up the side of the head for being so callous, but realised he didn't know any better. Mrs. Caster's eyelids fluttered when she heard what he said and she started moaning and groaning, becoming distressed all over again.
Chloe had looked over her shoulder and asked, "Can you just leave please?" The pizza man looked offended and shrugged his shoulders and continued to stand there with hands in pockets mesmerised.
I looked at me watch and noticed it was now 14 minutes since we had called for the pizza and 15 since the call to the EMS. A van came screeching to a halt and I ran to the window but it was under the eaves so I couldn't see it. I heard heavy footsteps running up the stairs in a hurry and knew it was the emergency personnel.
I ran for the door again and there with a white bag, was a Chinese lad who said, "Is this apartment 334? I bring food from Suo Yung Chens, mysteriously delicious Chinese food." He flashed a bright smile. I said it was 335, but he had it right, we were in the next door apartment. I groped in me pockets for me bill clip, settled the bill and as I went to put the bag down, found he was standing next to the pizza delivery guy who was saying, "Dude, ya gotta see this. She's had some kinda stroke or something. Cool huh?"
I was momentarily taken aback as I watched the Chinese lad look down and say, "Nah, that is a case of mile (he meant mild) infaction (infraction) of the art (heart) and otteries (arteries), my grandma had that and her art (heart stopped beating for a faction (fraction) of a second, so she was technically DEAD." To which Mrs. Caster started moaning louder, her eyes got wider and she was struggling to get up, I think to strangle the Chinese lad.
I ordered them both out.
"Dude, we can help maybe give her some wine, the alcohol will shock her heart," offered the pizza guy not to be outdone by the Chinese lad's knowledge of mild cardiac infractions!
"You'll kill her you do that," offered the Chinese lad. "You don't give her nothing because she could yoke (choke) and block her aways (airways)."
"OUT!!!" I shouted, "Out, out, out. NOW!"
I didn't hear the EMS van, nor the footfalls running up the stairs, but at the last minute I heard them talking as they entered the apartment. The medical van had pulled up a total of 30 minutes later, and the hospital was closer than the pizza place and Suo Yung Chens.
They took Mrs. Caster off, and I am happy to report she had a mild case of indigestion and is fine. The two delivery lads stood there in the way watching the action as the EMS workers put an oxygen mask on Mrs Caster and examined her with a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. I finally physically removed them with the protests of, "Dude! I'm going," and "I told you it was a art (heart) episode."
I said to the Chinese lad, "Thank you doctor, you can leave now."
As to Chloe and I, we sat munching cold pizza and equally cold Chinese with cokes, marveling that one could call for a pizza and Chinese and have it delivered before the Emergency Medical Services could respond to an emergency.
"Remind me never to have a life threatening accident," I said munching. "But order me a pizza at the same time so I have something to occupy me while waiting."
Chloe smiled, "And, I won't forget the Chinese because that comes with a budding doctor without a license."
That ended me second date with the fair maiden from me office. Me neck hurts this morning from craning it to look at the movie screen. Maybe the Chinese lad would like to deliver me some mysteriously delicious won ton and give me neck an ortho adjustment. OR NOT.
Gabe
Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved
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