February 2003
19
R. Linda:
Here be a story I did on a true event that I first had reported on. I have changed the names to protect the innocent?
TEACHING A LESSON IN ROXBURY LEADS TO THREE INDICTMENTS
Brian Malloney had had it. Either he was at the end of his rope or had lost it completely. Mr. Malloney was tired of coming home to a sink full of dirty dishes, sandwiches for dinner, and a dirty house. Most of all, he was tired of coming home to a wife munching Sara Lee Cheesecake Bites and watching the Oprah Winfrey Show.
Action had to be taken and Brian Malloney knew who to call. Fed up with his wife's indifference to his well-being, and believing home was supposed to be a man's castle, Brian Malloney took drastic action.
With desperation in his voice, and frustration in his demeanour, he explained to the man on the other end of the line what he wanted done.
The very next day, Mrs. Malloney, as was her habit, shuffled off to the mailbox to see if her Publishers Clearing House notification for the final running to win a million dollars was waiting in the box. What was waiting were two ski-masked men in the bushes. Before she could shout for help, they had duct-taped her mouth and were dragging her back inside. Panicked, she put up a good fight, but not good enough. The masked men duct-taped Mrs. Malloney to a kitchen chair. Once they were sure she was secure they stepped back and looked into her frightened eyes.
One masked individual started the water running in the kitchen sink, plugging in the drain, and with a flourish, added dishwashing liquid to the water. The other man began to wash the dishes as the other dried. When finished, the one dying informed Mrs. Malloney that what they just demonstrated was how dishes were washed and dried. He then said to her to watch carefully as he demonstrated how they got put away!
Once finished with the dishes, they lifted Mrs. Malloney in the chair and placed her in the middle of the living room. With no hesitation, the vacuum cleaner was brought out. One man showed her the plug, telling her to watch carefully; then he plugged it in. The other one told her to watch what he did next. Flicking the 'on' switch, the appliance came to life, and as one man straightened up and wagged a finger at Mrs. Malloney, holding up the empty Sara Lee Cheesecake Bites box, the other proceeded to vacuum the rug.
Once done they painstakingly showed her how to roll up the cord and put the vacuum away! By now you can be sure Mrs. Malloney was becoming suspicious. Oh yes, her eyes had gone from wide-eyed fear to narrow slits of annoyance.
As the two men lifted her and her chair up, they clumsily got Mrs. Malloney up the stairs to the bedroom. Her eyes were wide-eyed again, as visions of Oprah came to mind talking of rapists and why they do it. But alas, once she was set down, one man made the bed and the other was in the attached bath, cleaning the toilet! Mrs. Malloney, sitting in full view of this once again, felt her dander starting to rise.
Squirming and trying to curse them through her duct tape gag, she got their full attention. Without a word, one produced scissors from the medicine cabinet and clipped the tape away. The other gently removed the tape from her mouth and putting his fingers to her lips, told her to be quiet, they had one more thing to say.
Intrigued and mildly afraid of the kidnapping house cleaners, she looked silently at them not moving a muscle.
"Your husband wants you to know, that what we have shown you is easy and doesn't take a lot of time. He wants you to know that Oprah has a clean house and Stedman always has a hot dinner. He wants you to know that he considers you his Oprah and he is your Stedman. Please take the lessons we gave you and be as good as Oprah is to Stedman."
With that, they turned and left her sitting in awestruck shock, as they let themselves out and disappeared into the morning traffic.
Realising her husband paid to have her kidnapped in her own house, she thought for a while when it came into her head to ask herself, "What would Oprah do?"
When Brian Malloney had heard all was taken care of, he finished his day at the office and went on home, happily thinking his wife had been taught a lesson. What he found was a living room full of policemen and plain-clothes detectives.
Yes, Brian Malloney has been arraigned for hiring kidnappers to terrorise his wife, and the two-man business of Kidnappers Incorporated, a fledgling fetish business owned by Stevie Markoff and Andy Bailly, has been shut down and the two are facing federal charges of kidnapping and terrorising Mrs. Brian Malloney.
I'd say Oprah would have done the same thing. Even Stedman wouldn't be immune to the effects of duct tape.
R. Linda:
Here be a story I did on a true event that I first had reported on. I have changed the names to protect the innocent?
TEACHING A LESSON IN ROXBURY LEADS TO THREE INDICTMENTS
Brian Malloney had had it. Either he was at the end of his rope or had lost it completely. Mr. Malloney was tired of coming home to a sink full of dirty dishes, sandwiches for dinner, and a dirty house. Most of all, he was tired of coming home to a wife munching Sara Lee Cheesecake Bites and watching the Oprah Winfrey Show.
Action had to be taken and Brian Malloney knew who to call. Fed up with his wife's indifference to his well-being, and believing home was supposed to be a man's castle, Brian Malloney took drastic action.
With desperation in his voice, and frustration in his demeanour, he explained to the man on the other end of the line what he wanted done.
The very next day, Mrs. Malloney, as was her habit, shuffled off to the mailbox to see if her Publishers Clearing House notification for the final running to win a million dollars was waiting in the box. What was waiting were two ski-masked men in the bushes. Before she could shout for help, they had duct-taped her mouth and were dragging her back inside. Panicked, she put up a good fight, but not good enough. The masked men duct-taped Mrs. Malloney to a kitchen chair. Once they were sure she was secure they stepped back and looked into her frightened eyes.
One masked individual started the water running in the kitchen sink, plugging in the drain, and with a flourish, added dishwashing liquid to the water. The other man began to wash the dishes as the other dried. When finished, the one dying informed Mrs. Malloney that what they just demonstrated was how dishes were washed and dried. He then said to her to watch carefully as he demonstrated how they got put away!
Once finished with the dishes, they lifted Mrs. Malloney in the chair and placed her in the middle of the living room. With no hesitation, the vacuum cleaner was brought out. One man showed her the plug, telling her to watch carefully; then he plugged it in. The other one told her to watch what he did next. Flicking the 'on' switch, the appliance came to life, and as one man straightened up and wagged a finger at Mrs. Malloney, holding up the empty Sara Lee Cheesecake Bites box, the other proceeded to vacuum the rug.
Once done they painstakingly showed her how to roll up the cord and put the vacuum away! By now you can be sure Mrs. Malloney was becoming suspicious. Oh yes, her eyes had gone from wide-eyed fear to narrow slits of annoyance.
As the two men lifted her and her chair up, they clumsily got Mrs. Malloney up the stairs to the bedroom. Her eyes were wide-eyed again, as visions of Oprah came to mind talking of rapists and why they do it. But alas, once she was set down, one man made the bed and the other was in the attached bath, cleaning the toilet! Mrs. Malloney, sitting in full view of this once again, felt her dander starting to rise.
Squirming and trying to curse them through her duct tape gag, she got their full attention. Without a word, one produced scissors from the medicine cabinet and clipped the tape away. The other gently removed the tape from her mouth and putting his fingers to her lips, told her to be quiet, they had one more thing to say.
Intrigued and mildly afraid of the kidnapping house cleaners, she looked silently at them not moving a muscle.
"Your husband wants you to know, that what we have shown you is easy and doesn't take a lot of time. He wants you to know that Oprah has a clean house and Stedman always has a hot dinner. He wants you to know that he considers you his Oprah and he is your Stedman. Please take the lessons we gave you and be as good as Oprah is to Stedman."
With that, they turned and left her sitting in awestruck shock, as they let themselves out and disappeared into the morning traffic.
Realising her husband paid to have her kidnapped in her own house, she thought for a while when it came into her head to ask herself, "What would Oprah do?"
When Brian Malloney had heard all was taken care of, he finished his day at the office and went on home, happily thinking his wife had been taught a lesson. What he found was a living room full of policemen and plain-clothes detectives.
Yes, Brian Malloney has been arraigned for hiring kidnappers to terrorise his wife, and the two-man business of Kidnappers Incorporated, a fledgling fetish business owned by Stevie Markoff and Andy Bailly, has been shut down and the two are facing federal charges of kidnapping and terrorising Mrs. Brian Malloney.
I'd say Oprah would have done the same thing. Even Stedman wouldn't be immune to the effects of duct tape.
Gabe
Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved
Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved
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