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R. Linda:
Well, talk about gossip and cattiness, I came home last night to an after-dinner conversation going on in me kitchen, that I couldn't help overhear. It was me Mam out there with the eternal cuppa tea and me wife sitting across from her discussing the Bachelor programme.
I was trying to read the newspaper, but it got so deep I felt it creeping into where I was sitting and thinking I better lift me feet or go get the waders because these two women were on a tear. Yes, they were.
Mam: "Well, wasn't HE the one left those two wimmin at the altar?"
Tonya: "Not the altar mother O'Sullivan, but he did leave them with no ring, either one."
Mam: "And he be on gittin' a second chance he is?"
I sat there wondering why this Brad person was such a bad guy. He didn't propose like some of the bachlor guys did and never marry the girl. So kudos to Brad! I tried to go back to me paper.
Tonya: "That was him, and if I know our own kind, woe is Mr. Womack."
Mam: "Tsk, tsk. I suppos' it brings ratings fer the telly network it does." SIGH.
Tonya: "I should think it does! I don't think he's changed do you?"
Mam: "Ohhh nooo ye kin tell by hiz eyes he be more scared den anythin' else he be."
Tonya: "And well he should be! After that slap you'd think he would have said, "Hey woman, what's the matter with you? Who do you think you are?" I can't believe he kept that girl. She's abusive and if she thinks she can slap a man on national television and be smug about it, she's from another planet. Definitely needs counseling and so does he for allowing it and worse keeping her around!"
Yes, that be me self-righteous wife. I be thinking old Brad might be keeping the slapper around to get even later, but what do I know?
Mam: "That was what do they say? Ohhh yes, a bit over the top it wuz."
Tonya: "Way. And that one with the fangs, oh my God what an attention seeking bitch."
Mam: "Well, that be a little strong there Tonya, but I agree she haz problems but he haz more fer keepin' her around."
Tonya: "I noticed that most all those women were like, I've got my guard up, he isn't going to pull any of what he did the last time on me! Yeah, and then they were gushing over him and beating each other up for the loser's attention, ha!"
Mam: "True, true, now dat I tink on it. Dey did, dey did."
I turned to look at them, me Mam was looking in her teacup as if the tea leaves would agree. Me wife had elbows on table, head in hands, musing over this important stuff. I went back to me paper.
Tonya: "I don't understand how we, as a group, can get together and then go at each other over a man who has a bad track record." SIGH.
Mam: "Tonya, you hay to luck at it dis way, if dey all act like dat den dey deserve such a man as he."
Tonya: "You have it right there mother O. I agree."
Mam: "Oh an dat high stepper Kelso she wuz another one never grew up!"
Tonya: Laughing, "Kelso was a racehorse, Kelsie I think. The New York City Rockette, yeah he looked like an ass, OH! AND the wax off manscraper, hahahahaha what IS SHE about? Scary huh, hahahaha! Makes me wonder where they find these women."
Me, shouting over me newspaper: "Probably go to the local insane asylum and bus them over." I was ignored.
Mam: "But Tonya, it looks at da end, like HE'S left dis time by da adverts dey showed."
Tonya: "Nah, that's just to make you think what comes around goes around, but no, they were all too wanting to hook up to let him go. I hope he ends up with Fang Girl, she's so juvenile and so is he." Then in a mocking voice she mimicked bachelor Brad, "I'm just so happy to be here and have a second chance, BARF!"
I looked at me Da and told him to turn up the telly volume. I folded me paper and tried to watch an attractive woman with the most deadly set of choppers I had ever seen. I turned to the two gossips in the kitchen and I shouted as I pointed to the V alien on the telly screen, "NOW THERE'S A SET OF FANGS!"
They pooh-poohed and waved me away not bothering to look. I settled down to V and was quite happy to NOT hear anymore on "Woe Woe Womack."
Please tell me you aren't hooked on this season's Bachelor, The Wings Of Woe, Part Two.
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Well, talk about gossip and cattiness, I came home last night to an after-dinner conversation going on in me kitchen, that I couldn't help overhear. It was me Mam out there with the eternal cuppa tea and me wife sitting across from her discussing the Bachelor programme.
I was trying to read the newspaper, but it got so deep I felt it creeping into where I was sitting and thinking I better lift me feet or go get the waders because these two women were on a tear. Yes, they were.
Mam: "Well, wasn't HE the one left those two wimmin at the altar?"
Tonya: "Not the altar mother O'Sullivan, but he did leave them with no ring, either one."
Mam: "And he be on gittin' a second chance he is?"
I sat there wondering why this Brad person was such a bad guy. He didn't propose like some of the bachlor guys did and never marry the girl. So kudos to Brad! I tried to go back to me paper.
Tonya: "That was him, and if I know our own kind, woe is Mr. Womack."
Mam: "Tsk, tsk. I suppos' it brings ratings fer the telly network it does." SIGH.
Tonya: "I should think it does! I don't think he's changed do you?"
Mam: "Ohhh nooo ye kin tell by hiz eyes he be more scared den anythin' else he be."
Tonya: "And well he should be! After that slap you'd think he would have said, "Hey woman, what's the matter with you? Who do you think you are?" I can't believe he kept that girl. She's abusive and if she thinks she can slap a man on national television and be smug about it, she's from another planet. Definitely needs counseling and so does he for allowing it and worse keeping her around!"
Yes, that be me self-righteous wife. I be thinking old Brad might be keeping the slapper around to get even later, but what do I know?
Mam: "That was what do they say? Ohhh yes, a bit over the top it wuz."
Tonya: "Way. And that one with the fangs, oh my God what an attention seeking bitch."
Mam: "Well, that be a little strong there Tonya, but I agree she haz problems but he haz more fer keepin' her around."
Tonya: "I noticed that most all those women were like, I've got my guard up, he isn't going to pull any of what he did the last time on me! Yeah, and then they were gushing over him and beating each other up for the loser's attention, ha!"
Mam: "True, true, now dat I tink on it. Dey did, dey did."
I turned to look at them, me Mam was looking in her teacup as if the tea leaves would agree. Me wife had elbows on table, head in hands, musing over this important stuff. I went back to me paper.
Tonya: "I don't understand how we, as a group, can get together and then go at each other over a man who has a bad track record." SIGH.
Mam: "Tonya, you hay to luck at it dis way, if dey all act like dat den dey deserve such a man as he."
Tonya: "You have it right there mother O. I agree."
Mam: "Oh an dat high stepper Kelso she wuz another one never grew up!"
Tonya: Laughing, "Kelso was a racehorse, Kelsie I think. The New York City Rockette, yeah he looked like an ass, OH! AND the wax off manscraper, hahahahaha what IS SHE about? Scary huh, hahahaha! Makes me wonder where they find these women."
Me, shouting over me newspaper: "Probably go to the local insane asylum and bus them over." I was ignored.
Mam: "But Tonya, it looks at da end, like HE'S left dis time by da adverts dey showed."
Tonya: "Nah, that's just to make you think what comes around goes around, but no, they were all too wanting to hook up to let him go. I hope he ends up with Fang Girl, she's so juvenile and so is he." Then in a mocking voice she mimicked bachelor Brad, "I'm just so happy to be here and have a second chance, BARF!"
I looked at me Da and told him to turn up the telly volume. I folded me paper and tried to watch an attractive woman with the most deadly set of choppers I had ever seen. I turned to the two gossips in the kitchen and I shouted as I pointed to the V alien on the telly screen, "NOW THERE'S A SET OF FANGS!"
They pooh-poohed and waved me away not bothering to look. I settled down to V and was quite happy to NOT hear anymore on "Woe Woe Womack."
Please tell me you aren't hooked on this season's Bachelor, The Wings Of Woe, Part Two.
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
