91
R. Linda:
I thought I'd never get out of San Francisco. I got up bright and early to get to the airport for the two hours ahead check-in and all the security stuff. I was dropped off by a cab at the curb where there were plenty of places to check-in, but I took meself inside to the ticket desk instead. It was a madhouse out on the curb, and I thought it might be an easier time inside. I was right, there was no one in line and I found out why pretty damn fast, I did.
The girl behind the counter smiled at me as I put me bags down and in one fluid motion slapped me ticket on the counter for her to peruse. She smiled at me and said, "Sir, I am sorry but your flight has been canceled."
I had just put me large suitcase, carryall, computer bag and backpack down. I must have looked quizzical because she continued, "I can make arrangements for you to take a flight out at 8:45 but it flies into Denver with an hour between your connecting flight to Chicago's O'Hare."
Well, what could I say or do? Nothing! I nodded and she started to type in the information as I checked me watch and realised I'd be cooling me heels for three hours, not two. Begorrah me, I could have slept another hour. Oh well, I got me new ticket, checked me suitcase and took up me carryall, computer bag and backpack. I spent me free time drinking cups of Starbucks coffee and consuming a variety of sugary treats called breakfast pastries.
In-between the coffee and pastry runs, I had gone off to the security check to take care of that bit of business. I knew there was another Starbucks by the gate, so off I had gone. I was told to take off me shoes, throw me watch into a tray and step through the scanner. I did all that and was handed back me shoes and told to go put them on. There I was standing with shoes in hand as me watch went by with me other bags into a great pile of luggage at the end of the conveyor belt. I wasn't the only one trying to fetch things and put on me shoes at the same time. It was chaos it was. There I was in the shuffle of things, hopping about with one foot half in me shoe, one hand holding the other, the other hand trying to one handedly put on me watch and grab at me baggage all at the same time.
It was a circus I tell you, and the airport security was telling us all to hurry on now, because there were many more waiting to get though. I thought if I didn't have to have me shoes scanned this wouldn't be going on. I got me things, and dragged me half in the shoe, half out of the shoe foot over to a bench where I sat meself down, dropped the luggage and began to get me shoe on me foot properly. Some airport person of considerable age came over and asked me if I needed help.
I thought to meself, do I look that retarded I need help with me shoes? I felt like a five year old at school. I thanked the woman and said no, and got meself off as speedily as I could manage.
The flight to Denver was short. The wait for me Chicago flight, long, but I had graduated by that time to a bar not far from the gate. I was drinking beers by 11 a.m. and not caring about much until I sat down at the gate to wait the flight. Across from me was a man of Middle Eastern descent. He had a small laptop which he plugged into one of the outlet pillars, as he talked on his mobile phone. I just knew he had a blueprint of the airplane on his screen, and was talking to some conspirator about how to best blow it up. It was stupid I know, but that's where me beer sodden, sugar saturated mind was.
I didn't see him on the flight, so I don't know what happened to him. I got to O'Hare, no problems and then with hardly anytime to spare, made me connector to Logan and home sweet home.
I gathered me luggage in record time, haled a cab and off I was to Charlestown, a smile on me face, two lungs full of Boston Bay air filling me up, and me mind was content as it could be. I saw nothing had changed much (including the Big Dig), and was happy until we pulled into the cobbled street where me apartment building stands. I had to rub me eyes twice to be sure I was not seeing what I thought I was. Wrong, I was seeing it all right. There on the cobblestone curb was Argiebelle with the mutt. She was dressed in a tutu, yes a tutu, a pink one no less like a ballerina. The stupid dog was dressed the same, AND she was waving at me. Me reflexes made me sink down in the backseat, but not before the cabbie asked, "I think there's someone you know waiting for you."
Oh, what could I say? I wanted to shout, NO WAY IN HELL KEEP GOING, but it was too late, we were sliding up to the curb and there she was giggling me name and saying hi and how glad she was I was back. Begorrah me I was embarrassed.
I paid the cabbie who was chuckling to himself as I got me bags and pressed forward onto the curb trying to avoid the mutt. Argie looped her arm through mine (mind you I had all me bags and was struggling into the building dragging her with me since she wouldn't let go).
As soon as we were inside she let go, and smacked one wet one on me stunned kisser and jumped up and down like a giddy three year old with too many presents. I backed up trying to catch me breath and some decorum from the kiss when I moved back into a warm body. I turned quickly to find Tonya looking at me with a smirk on her face and eyes that were as slanty as an amused demon.
"So lover-boy is back," she quipped.
It was me turn to look disapproving and I said something but I don't remember what and she laughed. She took one of me bags and pulled me by the collar up behind her on the stairs. Now this gesture baffled me. I was about to mount the stairs, and why I needed to be pulled up them, by me collar no less, was a bafflement, until I felt me belt being pulled from behind in the opposite direction.
I was half on the second stair when I started to lose me balance. Tonya had let go and started on up and when she did, the tug from the back at me point of balance had me falling backward. Stupid Argie had me by the belt and was tugging me back down the stairs, backwards no less. because she wanted me to see the new mural on her wall. I somehow dropped the luggage and grabbed the balustrade in the nick of time. I was able to steady meself upright with me momentum moving upward and forward.
I left the bag and yelled over me shoulder, "I'll be down later, let me unpack first."
But she picked up me bag and came trudging up the stairs behind me and Tonya. I thought to meself, this was not the homecoming I had hopped for and why was I being saddled with Argie? It just wasn't fair I tell you.
I caught up to Tonya who was knocking on Flanagan's door to no answer.
"Swell, he must be out," she said.
I was too knackered from the tug of war to care. I set me bags down as Argie came limping up dragging me large piece of luggage like it weighed a ton and then some. She was panting and I was taking in the tutu thinking she's completely lost her mind. She, thought I must like what I saw and did a wee dance saying, "I am taking ballet lessons, can't you tell?"
R. Linda, I was in no mood and was about to say something disparaging when Tonya grabs me by the shirt sleeve and announces we are off to her place until Flanagan gets home. So now me carryall is on the floor where I left it, Tonya has me back pack and computer bag, and the dancing fool is dragging not only me large piece of luggage, but the carryall after us. We were sufficiently ahead of Argie that I whispered (with some desperation), that Tonya get us in her apartment before Argie could catch up. I whisper pleaded with her all the way to the third floor. Only that didn't happen because the mutt appeared and had clamped it's jaws to me jean leg, so there I be dragging the thing in with me. Could it have heard me and decided this was a way to slow me down so it's mistress could catch up? Oh, dread the thought. And I might remind you, it was wearing a tutu as it hit every single stair to the third floor. It must have iron jaws because I could not disengage the thing all the way up.
I was subject to Argie sitting almost on me lap until Flanagan arrived several hours later. Was I a crazy person by that time? Oh yeah I was. Was I ready to stick Argiebelle in Flanagan's freezer? Oh yeah I was that too. Was I ready to jump out the third story window? Oh yeah I was. It was a dreadful time. It would have been fine if it were just me and Tonya, since we share common interests. But no, I was subject to Argiebelle's dissertation on five pronged keys and lock changing. Don't ask.
Gabe
Copyright © 2004 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
I thought I'd never get out of San Francisco. I got up bright and early to get to the airport for the two hours ahead check-in and all the security stuff. I was dropped off by a cab at the curb where there were plenty of places to check-in, but I took meself inside to the ticket desk instead. It was a madhouse out on the curb, and I thought it might be an easier time inside. I was right, there was no one in line and I found out why pretty damn fast, I did.
The girl behind the counter smiled at me as I put me bags down and in one fluid motion slapped me ticket on the counter for her to peruse. She smiled at me and said, "Sir, I am sorry but your flight has been canceled."
I had just put me large suitcase, carryall, computer bag and backpack down. I must have looked quizzical because she continued, "I can make arrangements for you to take a flight out at 8:45 but it flies into Denver with an hour between your connecting flight to Chicago's O'Hare."
Well, what could I say or do? Nothing! I nodded and she started to type in the information as I checked me watch and realised I'd be cooling me heels for three hours, not two. Begorrah me, I could have slept another hour. Oh well, I got me new ticket, checked me suitcase and took up me carryall, computer bag and backpack. I spent me free time drinking cups of Starbucks coffee and consuming a variety of sugary treats called breakfast pastries.
In-between the coffee and pastry runs, I had gone off to the security check to take care of that bit of business. I knew there was another Starbucks by the gate, so off I had gone. I was told to take off me shoes, throw me watch into a tray and step through the scanner. I did all that and was handed back me shoes and told to go put them on. There I was standing with shoes in hand as me watch went by with me other bags into a great pile of luggage at the end of the conveyor belt. I wasn't the only one trying to fetch things and put on me shoes at the same time. It was chaos it was. There I was in the shuffle of things, hopping about with one foot half in me shoe, one hand holding the other, the other hand trying to one handedly put on me watch and grab at me baggage all at the same time.
It was a circus I tell you, and the airport security was telling us all to hurry on now, because there were many more waiting to get though. I thought if I didn't have to have me shoes scanned this wouldn't be going on. I got me things, and dragged me half in the shoe, half out of the shoe foot over to a bench where I sat meself down, dropped the luggage and began to get me shoe on me foot properly. Some airport person of considerable age came over and asked me if I needed help.
I thought to meself, do I look that retarded I need help with me shoes? I felt like a five year old at school. I thanked the woman and said no, and got meself off as speedily as I could manage.
The flight to Denver was short. The wait for me Chicago flight, long, but I had graduated by that time to a bar not far from the gate. I was drinking beers by 11 a.m. and not caring about much until I sat down at the gate to wait the flight. Across from me was a man of Middle Eastern descent. He had a small laptop which he plugged into one of the outlet pillars, as he talked on his mobile phone. I just knew he had a blueprint of the airplane on his screen, and was talking to some conspirator about how to best blow it up. It was stupid I know, but that's where me beer sodden, sugar saturated mind was.
I didn't see him on the flight, so I don't know what happened to him. I got to O'Hare, no problems and then with hardly anytime to spare, made me connector to Logan and home sweet home.
I gathered me luggage in record time, haled a cab and off I was to Charlestown, a smile on me face, two lungs full of Boston Bay air filling me up, and me mind was content as it could be. I saw nothing had changed much (including the Big Dig), and was happy until we pulled into the cobbled street where me apartment building stands. I had to rub me eyes twice to be sure I was not seeing what I thought I was. Wrong, I was seeing it all right. There on the cobblestone curb was Argiebelle with the mutt. She was dressed in a tutu, yes a tutu, a pink one no less like a ballerina. The stupid dog was dressed the same, AND she was waving at me. Me reflexes made me sink down in the backseat, but not before the cabbie asked, "I think there's someone you know waiting for you."
Oh, what could I say? I wanted to shout, NO WAY IN HELL KEEP GOING, but it was too late, we were sliding up to the curb and there she was giggling me name and saying hi and how glad she was I was back. Begorrah me I was embarrassed.
I paid the cabbie who was chuckling to himself as I got me bags and pressed forward onto the curb trying to avoid the mutt. Argie looped her arm through mine (mind you I had all me bags and was struggling into the building dragging her with me since she wouldn't let go).
As soon as we were inside she let go, and smacked one wet one on me stunned kisser and jumped up and down like a giddy three year old with too many presents. I backed up trying to catch me breath and some decorum from the kiss when I moved back into a warm body. I turned quickly to find Tonya looking at me with a smirk on her face and eyes that were as slanty as an amused demon.
"So lover-boy is back," she quipped.
It was me turn to look disapproving and I said something but I don't remember what and she laughed. She took one of me bags and pulled me by the collar up behind her on the stairs. Now this gesture baffled me. I was about to mount the stairs, and why I needed to be pulled up them, by me collar no less, was a bafflement, until I felt me belt being pulled from behind in the opposite direction.
I was half on the second stair when I started to lose me balance. Tonya had let go and started on up and when she did, the tug from the back at me point of balance had me falling backward. Stupid Argie had me by the belt and was tugging me back down the stairs, backwards no less. because she wanted me to see the new mural on her wall. I somehow dropped the luggage and grabbed the balustrade in the nick of time. I was able to steady meself upright with me momentum moving upward and forward.
I left the bag and yelled over me shoulder, "I'll be down later, let me unpack first."
But she picked up me bag and came trudging up the stairs behind me and Tonya. I thought to meself, this was not the homecoming I had hopped for and why was I being saddled with Argie? It just wasn't fair I tell you.
I caught up to Tonya who was knocking on Flanagan's door to no answer.
"Swell, he must be out," she said.
I was too knackered from the tug of war to care. I set me bags down as Argie came limping up dragging me large piece of luggage like it weighed a ton and then some. She was panting and I was taking in the tutu thinking she's completely lost her mind. She, thought I must like what I saw and did a wee dance saying, "I am taking ballet lessons, can't you tell?"
R. Linda, I was in no mood and was about to say something disparaging when Tonya grabs me by the shirt sleeve and announces we are off to her place until Flanagan gets home. So now me carryall is on the floor where I left it, Tonya has me back pack and computer bag, and the dancing fool is dragging not only me large piece of luggage, but the carryall after us. We were sufficiently ahead of Argie that I whispered (with some desperation), that Tonya get us in her apartment before Argie could catch up. I whisper pleaded with her all the way to the third floor. Only that didn't happen because the mutt appeared and had clamped it's jaws to me jean leg, so there I be dragging the thing in with me. Could it have heard me and decided this was a way to slow me down so it's mistress could catch up? Oh, dread the thought. And I might remind you, it was wearing a tutu as it hit every single stair to the third floor. It must have iron jaws because I could not disengage the thing all the way up.
I was subject to Argie sitting almost on me lap until Flanagan arrived several hours later. Was I a crazy person by that time? Oh yeah I was. Was I ready to stick Argiebelle in Flanagan's freezer? Oh yeah I was that too. Was I ready to jump out the third story window? Oh yeah I was. It was a dreadful time. It would have been fine if it were just me and Tonya, since we share common interests. But no, I was subject to Argiebelle's dissertation on five pronged keys and lock changing. Don't ask.
Gabe
Copyright © 2004 All rights reserved
