10 March 2015
763
R. Linda:
So here's the thing, me Mam be so done with me Da . . . so done that last night she comes to the dinner table with a plan.
"I be going to be changing me name!" She declared.
"To what?" I asked idly.
"To O'Sullivan." Says she.
"You are an O'Sullivan," I said.
"No, the L."
"The L?" I looked up from me dinner perplexed.
"I be an O'Sullivan with one L instead of two."
"Let me get this straight," I started when Tonya told me to just let it go.
Who does that? I can see dropping the O from O'Sullivan or just going by Sullivan and, even more likely, dropping the O'Sullivan altogether and becoming a Duddy or reverting back to her maiden name, O'Connor. But no, she's dropping one L, and that's supposed to make her different.
I broke out the Jameson after dinner because there was no talking sense to her. So, she will petition some court (unsure where) to change her name. Yeah, that was another thing.
"So you will petition the court in Newry?" I asked stupidly.
"No, I tink I can goo here ta one of yers."
"I don't think so, Mam, since you are a citizen of Northern Ireland. You have to go there."
"Noo, I will change it here."
This led to another discussion that went the same way the first one did, with Tonya telling me to leave it be. I did. For now. Because it's all going to start up again when she asks me to drive her to the local courthouse.
Not to be on Mam's case, but she was on mine within the hour. Seems seeds were lying around the garbage disposal in the sink, did I know what they were?
I looked at her, puzzled, as I had no clue what she was talking about.
She explained that the seeds were from something I must have eaten because "Men be none too thorough when putting dishes in the sink. Ye don't rinse em', ye don't clean em', ya jus leave em' fer da wimin of da house."
Yes, that is what she said in her Irish accent that she swears she no longer has, since she's been living in this country for a few months and lost it. Right. So I tried defending men of the world regarding dishes in the sink, which was to no avail. Tonya even told me to "give it a rest." But it wasn't me that needed to do that. It was Mam, who went on about the seeds and did I remember what kind they were, and did I know that a plant was growing out of the garbage disposal. Oi!
I got up and followed her to the disposal where THIS was growing.
There, in the dark recesses of the garbage disposal, exposed to a shaft of sunlight that comes in the kitchen window, was the mysterious green thing. Why this green thing be associated with yours truly, I have notta clue. I suggested the ladies of the house dropped one of their bean sprouts from those horrendous salads they make (in the name of a healthy diet), and it never got ground up and there you have it, instant garden! But no, both of them (Tonya included) say it's got to be tomato from the BLT I ate some days ago.
This be troublesome as it may indicate that the garbage disposal is clogged up. Not everything is getting ground to a pulp, or a renegade seed stuck its sticky self to the side of the disposal, just above the grinders, and there you have it! The sunlight was just enough to encourage it to grow, and I told them both they would be famous for SINK GARDENING. Who knew?
But the downside be that (neither of them) will allow me to use the disposal because the "seed" be growing!
"THAT be a terrible idea you know," I said to them, "the roots will go down the pipes and then what? There will be no more disposal!"
They don't care. They cannot bring themselves to "kill" the baby seedling. This weekend, it gets moved, I will try to be gentle about it, but it gets moved!
Gabe
Copyright © 2015 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
So here's the thing, me Mam be so done with me Da . . . so done that last night she comes to the dinner table with a plan.
"I be going to be changing me name!" She declared.
"To what?" I asked idly.
"To O'Sullivan." Says she.
"You are an O'Sullivan," I said.
"No, the L."
"The L?" I looked up from me dinner perplexed.
"I be an O'Sullivan with one L instead of two."
"Let me get this straight," I started when Tonya told me to just let it go.
Who does that? I can see dropping the O from O'Sullivan or just going by Sullivan and, even more likely, dropping the O'Sullivan altogether and becoming a Duddy or reverting back to her maiden name, O'Connor. But no, she's dropping one L, and that's supposed to make her different.
I broke out the Jameson after dinner because there was no talking sense to her. So, she will petition some court (unsure where) to change her name. Yeah, that was another thing.
"So you will petition the court in Newry?" I asked stupidly.
"No, I tink I can goo here ta one of yers."
"I don't think so, Mam, since you are a citizen of Northern Ireland. You have to go there."
"Noo, I will change it here."
This led to another discussion that went the same way the first one did, with Tonya telling me to leave it be. I did. For now. Because it's all going to start up again when she asks me to drive her to the local courthouse.
Not to be on Mam's case, but she was on mine within the hour. Seems seeds were lying around the garbage disposal in the sink, did I know what they were?
I looked at her, puzzled, as I had no clue what she was talking about.
She explained that the seeds were from something I must have eaten because "Men be none too thorough when putting dishes in the sink. Ye don't rinse em', ye don't clean em', ya jus leave em' fer da wimin of da house."
Yes, that is what she said in her Irish accent that she swears she no longer has, since she's been living in this country for a few months and lost it. Right. So I tried defending men of the world regarding dishes in the sink, which was to no avail. Tonya even told me to "give it a rest." But it wasn't me that needed to do that. It was Mam, who went on about the seeds and did I remember what kind they were, and did I know that a plant was growing out of the garbage disposal. Oi!
I got up and followed her to the disposal where THIS was growing.
 |
| I be guessing tomato |
This be troublesome as it may indicate that the garbage disposal is clogged up. Not everything is getting ground to a pulp, or a renegade seed stuck its sticky self to the side of the disposal, just above the grinders, and there you have it! The sunlight was just enough to encourage it to grow, and I told them both they would be famous for SINK GARDENING. Who knew?
But the downside be that (neither of them) will allow me to use the disposal because the "seed" be growing!
"THAT be a terrible idea you know," I said to them, "the roots will go down the pipes and then what? There will be no more disposal!"
They don't care. They cannot bring themselves to "kill" the baby seedling. This weekend, it gets moved, I will try to be gentle about it, but it gets moved!
Gabe
Copyright © 2015 All rights reserved
