Story #220
R. Linda:
Since this was such a trying time for both of our lives, we should RELIVE IT!
Fudge Day 1: There I be minding me own business when I get an email from YOU telling me you are going to make fudge. And even better, you are going to send some me way. Then I got an email the same day telling me you were of a mind to make three or four different flavours of fudge. I think you are ambitious and a little bit nuts. But I thank you in advance for having mercy on this poor deprived chocieholic since the wife won't make any fudge to stave off me craving.
Fudge Day 2: I get an email from you informing me that the fudge isn't going well. It is either too soft or too hard, and YOU aren't satisfied with the results. I'd be stupid enough to ask if you threw it all in the bin and you tell me no. You're using your kiddies as trash bins and going back IN to try again, like a surgeon. Then you asked me about arrowroot, and I think you are a first-time fudge maker. LMAO
Fudge Day 3: Fudge making still isn't going well. You were making cinnamon fudge, and my stomach was flipping at the thought. Your favourite of the day is cherry, but you are going to try orange and almond. Hold the nuts; it's extract. Now, my stomach is doing giant flip-flops at the idea of no almonds, just extract.
Fudge Day 4: You are going to get bubble wrap and a box to ship me delicious fudge the next day. I also received instructions not to thank you. This last has me suspicious.
Fudge Day 5: You inform yours truly that all the sweetness in your fudge is enough to make a person gag. I be thinking to meself, what is she sending me? You also gave me the visual after saying, "I'm gonna get obese!" Then you say, "My kids and I eat the mistakes, plus we sample every batch to make sure it tastes right." And I think the batch of fudge you are sending will have teeth marks where you bit a bite out for taste testing. (Say that three times fast - you bit a bite out) Oi!
Fudge Day 6: I find you haven't sent the fudge to me yet. You tell me the fudge looks 'right' now, but you worry about the mail guys tossing it around and it all turning to chocie dust and bits. I be appalled at the visual. You add that the fudge is too sweet, and you can't tell a chocieholic that there be such a thing as too sweet. I just had a piece of gushy birthday cake with three inches of icing, and I'll be in hoggy heaven. NOTHING is too sweet for yours truly!
Fudge Day 7: I wake up to this email from you: "I hate to disappoint you, but I'm sending your package on Saturday instead. LMAO. We're trying out an experimental fudge tomorrow, and I want to send some of that batch to you. If you throw up or get sick, oops. LOL." NOW I be quaking in me boots. I write back: "You are doing this to torture me with chocie craving. I know you."
Fudge Day 8: This arrives in me email - "Oh yea, and how much fudge do you think I'm sending? HMMM, let me think. LMAO. You're in for either a treat or a shock. Think FAT, think MASSIVE, think OH MY GOD!!!" This made me start chewing me fingernails to the quick.
Fudge Day 9: You send this - "WELL, I guess you'll just have to wait, be a guinea pig for my fudge skills, and don't hoard it until it turns to stone. LOL. If you don't like the taste, give it to your enemies. OR use it as a doorstop. Weight wise? About 5 plus pounds, I don't have a clue, don't have a scale." -- So now I be wondering what 5 pounds of fudge looks like.
Fudge Day 10: You emailed me this: "I'm trying to find a box in the house that the bin fits into. I can't tell you how much it weighs, but maybe 8 pounds easily, LOL." I'm terrified now. You went from 5 to 8 pounds overnight and are looking for a new box.
I wrote you back: "I have not a clue on the amount and not certain you won't keep at it for the rest of the year and in the year 2020 the fudge will arrive as you have perfected the recipe and me choppers will have fallen out and I won't be able to sample it."
So the question remained: Would Gabe ever get his fudge? And just how much fudge, if any, would Gabe get? Tune in tomorrow for the next episode of Fudge Day.
To be continued.
Copyright © 2008 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Since this was such a trying time for both of our lives, we should RELIVE IT!
Fudge Day 1: There I be minding me own business when I get an email from YOU telling me you are going to make fudge. And even better, you are going to send some me way. Then I got an email the same day telling me you were of a mind to make three or four different flavours of fudge. I think you are ambitious and a little bit nuts. But I thank you in advance for having mercy on this poor deprived chocieholic since the wife won't make any fudge to stave off me craving.
Fudge Day 2: I get an email from you informing me that the fudge isn't going well. It is either too soft or too hard, and YOU aren't satisfied with the results. I'd be stupid enough to ask if you threw it all in the bin and you tell me no. You're using your kiddies as trash bins and going back IN to try again, like a surgeon. Then you asked me about arrowroot, and I think you are a first-time fudge maker. LMAO
Fudge Day 3: Fudge making still isn't going well. You were making cinnamon fudge, and my stomach was flipping at the thought. Your favourite of the day is cherry, but you are going to try orange and almond. Hold the nuts; it's extract. Now, my stomach is doing giant flip-flops at the idea of no almonds, just extract.
Fudge Day 4: You are going to get bubble wrap and a box to ship me delicious fudge the next day. I also received instructions not to thank you. This last has me suspicious.
Fudge Day 5: You inform yours truly that all the sweetness in your fudge is enough to make a person gag. I be thinking to meself, what is she sending me? You also gave me the visual after saying, "I'm gonna get obese!" Then you say, "My kids and I eat the mistakes, plus we sample every batch to make sure it tastes right." And I think the batch of fudge you are sending will have teeth marks where you bit a bite out for taste testing. (Say that three times fast - you bit a bite out) Oi!
Fudge Day 6: I find you haven't sent the fudge to me yet. You tell me the fudge looks 'right' now, but you worry about the mail guys tossing it around and it all turning to chocie dust and bits. I be appalled at the visual. You add that the fudge is too sweet, and you can't tell a chocieholic that there be such a thing as too sweet. I just had a piece of gushy birthday cake with three inches of icing, and I'll be in hoggy heaven. NOTHING is too sweet for yours truly!
Fudge Day 7: I wake up to this email from you: "I hate to disappoint you, but I'm sending your package on Saturday instead. LMAO. We're trying out an experimental fudge tomorrow, and I want to send some of that batch to you. If you throw up or get sick, oops. LOL." NOW I be quaking in me boots. I write back: "You are doing this to torture me with chocie craving. I know you."
Fudge Day 8: This arrives in me email - "Oh yea, and how much fudge do you think I'm sending? HMMM, let me think. LMAO. You're in for either a treat or a shock. Think FAT, think MASSIVE, think OH MY GOD!!!" This made me start chewing me fingernails to the quick.
Fudge Day 9: You send this - "WELL, I guess you'll just have to wait, be a guinea pig for my fudge skills, and don't hoard it until it turns to stone. LOL. If you don't like the taste, give it to your enemies. OR use it as a doorstop. Weight wise? About 5 plus pounds, I don't have a clue, don't have a scale." -- So now I be wondering what 5 pounds of fudge looks like.
Fudge Day 10: You emailed me this: "I'm trying to find a box in the house that the bin fits into. I can't tell you how much it weighs, but maybe 8 pounds easily, LOL." I'm terrified now. You went from 5 to 8 pounds overnight and are looking for a new box.
I wrote you back: "I have not a clue on the amount and not certain you won't keep at it for the rest of the year and in the year 2020 the fudge will arrive as you have perfected the recipe and me choppers will have fallen out and I won't be able to sample it."
So the question remained: Would Gabe ever get his fudge? And just how much fudge, if any, would Gabe get? Tune in tomorrow for the next episode of Fudge Day.
To be continued.
Copyright © 2008 All rights reserved
