7 November 2010
328
R. Linda:
Well, I have spent a lovely afternoon planting mums. Yes, a thousand of them, and why do I do this when they never come back up? I have no clue, but orders be orders, and so I FREAKING DID IT! Now I be done, I be encrusted with 40 tons of dirt under me fingernails. Me hands are permanently dirty because as I ended up frustrated with the rocks, I scooped out dirt with me hands, and the stuff is embedded in me skin FOREVER! Add to that, me hair was sweaty over me forehead, and I was pushing it back with me dirty hands, so now me face is dirty, TOO, along with me hair! Me jeans are soaked with dirt and wet from the ground, me shoes are ruined, and I have not another casual pair thanks to the CAT, and me shirt be the only thing that's clean because of me now filthy JACKET!
Tell me why you women buy forty thousand mum plants. I know, "They look pretty for the fall," I've heard it all before, and every year, I am told, "They will come back up if we plant them." And there is no 'we'. It is ME who ends up doing the dirty work, and every spring, NOTHING green comes up where I did all that backbreaking ground shovelling planting of useless but oh-so-pretty MUMS!
Add to this, the cat, yes, the CAT, did his duty in a hole I dug. I left it for a minute to get ANOTHER mum plant, and when I returned, there was wetness in the hole. I thought, as only stupid me could, THAT water from an underground spring had seeped up. Well, NO, it wasn't a SPRING and how do I know? When I started placing the plant in and sloshing the water around, this TERRIBLE odour hit me. It was familiar, and I looked over and the cat WAS smiling at me! YES, IT WAS SMILING AT ME!!!
So now I was not only dirty filthy, I was full of cat piss! Oh, laugh, I know you are. I can't stop you. I give up!
Thank God I go back to work tomorrow, and I get away for eight or nine hours from the CAT, me MAM and Da, the wicked boyos (who find everything I do and say funny when I DON'T). Me only friend in the house be the crazy setter; she just can't have enough of me. The Newfie has decided I am a cat because I really, really smell like one at the moment, and WE KNOW WHY.
So, stories are DONE. I be hoping me evening be totally unexciting and everyone behaves including the CAT. Oh, and I made fun of you expecting snow, well guess what? WE ARE TOO! It should make you happy, at the very least. I know it does me, and do you want to know why? Because the snow will kill all those mums I painstakingly planted today. Yup, I broke me back digging holes for plants that will die of snow kill in a matter of hours. Oh yeah, makes me so happy. NOT.
Am going to the shower, and after that, I will be in the loft BY MESELF!
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Well, I have spent a lovely afternoon planting mums. Yes, a thousand of them, and why do I do this when they never come back up? I have no clue, but orders be orders, and so I FREAKING DID IT! Now I be done, I be encrusted with 40 tons of dirt under me fingernails. Me hands are permanently dirty because as I ended up frustrated with the rocks, I scooped out dirt with me hands, and the stuff is embedded in me skin FOREVER! Add to that, me hair was sweaty over me forehead, and I was pushing it back with me dirty hands, so now me face is dirty, TOO, along with me hair! Me jeans are soaked with dirt and wet from the ground, me shoes are ruined, and I have not another casual pair thanks to the CAT, and me shirt be the only thing that's clean because of me now filthy JACKET!
Tell me why you women buy forty thousand mum plants. I know, "They look pretty for the fall," I've heard it all before, and every year, I am told, "They will come back up if we plant them." And there is no 'we'. It is ME who ends up doing the dirty work, and every spring, NOTHING green comes up where I did all that backbreaking ground shovelling planting of useless but oh-so-pretty MUMS!
Add to this, the cat, yes, the CAT, did his duty in a hole I dug. I left it for a minute to get ANOTHER mum plant, and when I returned, there was wetness in the hole. I thought, as only stupid me could, THAT water from an underground spring had seeped up. Well, NO, it wasn't a SPRING and how do I know? When I started placing the plant in and sloshing the water around, this TERRIBLE odour hit me. It was familiar, and I looked over and the cat WAS smiling at me! YES, IT WAS SMILING AT ME!!!
So now I was not only dirty filthy, I was full of cat piss! Oh, laugh, I know you are. I can't stop you. I give up!
Thank God I go back to work tomorrow, and I get away for eight or nine hours from the CAT, me MAM and Da, the wicked boyos (who find everything I do and say funny when I DON'T). Me only friend in the house be the crazy setter; she just can't have enough of me. The Newfie has decided I am a cat because I really, really smell like one at the moment, and WE KNOW WHY.
So, stories are DONE. I be hoping me evening be totally unexciting and everyone behaves including the CAT. Oh, and I made fun of you expecting snow, well guess what? WE ARE TOO! It should make you happy, at the very least. I know it does me, and do you want to know why? Because the snow will kill all those mums I painstakingly planted today. Yup, I broke me back digging holes for plants that will die of snow kill in a matter of hours. Oh yeah, makes me so happy. NOT.
Am going to the shower, and after that, I will be in the loft BY MESELF!
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
