17 July 2022
Story #1076
R. Linda:
It takes two to tango but three to tangle. I live in a crazy house, not always, but most of the time. I have three 'house guests' (I use that term as loosely as possible), and not everyone gets along. I have gone out and bought ladles and given each 'guest' one with the admonishment to "stir your pot gently if you must stir at all."
The first ladle was given to the Dragon Queen. She looked at it and said, "What? Is this your way of hinting you need me to go to the kitchen to fix something?"
The second went to Weasil, who said, "Hey, cool, I kin hit buggies wit dissy here."
The third went to me cousin Sean, who looked at it and said, "What's dis fur?"
And yes, I told them what I said above and left them all looking at their ladle with a furrowed brow, giving it some thought.
Each of them has told on the other like small kiddos. There have been shouting matches (something unheard of in me abode), almost fist-a-cuffs breaking out, or in Dragon's case, swinging her broom at offending heads.
That "threes a crowd" saying applies here as well. They never get into it as individuals; they team up. It is usually Dragon and her favourite boy, Weasil, against cousin Sean. I'd say the ringleader in all this is me mother-in-law. I swear she plans situations to start trouble.
Just Friday, Sean made sausage, onions, peppers, and potatoes in a pot. He shared this concoction on a sub roll. I will give it to Sean; he can cook junk and fast food like no one else. Well, it was all devoured but one helping. Sean put the leftovers in a small tub for the next day's snacking, and we all knew that last was Sean's.
WELL, yesterday around lunchtime, Sean went to the fridge and got his tub out with the idea of heating it up and feasting. He got a sub roll, slathered mustard on it, sprinkled a little salt and pepper and then opened the tub to pop it in the microwave. Well, sports fans, THIS be what Sean saw:
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Who (in their right mind) does this? |
There she stood like Gary Cooper (I know who he be from me Mam, I do) in the doorway, a dark shadow of doom looking through slit eyes at all three of them. She said in a loud but controlled voice, "You all are grounded from MY KITCHEN! This is MY HOUSE, MY KITCHEN, MY FOOD, SO OUT!!!"
Well, Sean threw the tub in the sink and went slamming out the backdoor. Weasil grinned at Dragon, and then, as quick as a light switch, he was doubled over, holding his stomach, groaning as he limped out of the room. Dragon? She just stood there, not moving.
"That goes for you too, Mom," Tonya said. "I can't get my work done with all this going on. I'd love you to get Guido to pick up his room while I run O'Hare to work." With that, she disappeared, and Dragon started to move in Guido's direction. The young laddie was on his tablet in the living room, ignoring all the confrontations. Well, not for long, Guid! She was on him like a bat out of hell to put that "stupid thing down and clean that room NOW!" And off they went, the prisoner sulking about how he was in the middle of a game and the jailer taking out her embarrassment on an almost innocent person. Guido is a handful sometimes and is far from the perfect child. That would be the wee one, the baby of the family who never seems to get caught. Sneaky and slick be the youngest, or just too smart to get caught?
Anyway, the dust has settled FOR NOW.
Gabe
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