Me Mental Sanity Sereverly Challenged At This Time Of Year

 21 December 2025

1145

R. Linda:

I be not one to complain about Christmas decorations, either inside or outside. But lately, it has been havoc driving home with all the FLASHING lights. I wish everyone would just have white lights, gently lit (no flashing), or the coloured kind, again, none of the in-your-face flashing stuff. 

There be one corner in southern New Hampshire, where I have to come to a full stop before continuing onward. At that corner is a Griswold light-covered house with every imaginable lit decoration taking over the entire yard. The flashing is sporadic as one thing flashes and then another, and it is just so random, that as I sit there, almost blinded by the lights, trying to see over me steering column if I can proceed or not, I find meself beginning to go into an altered state of consciousness. Yes, R. Linda, yours truly feels like he may experience what is close to an epileptic fit from flashing lights of all colours and sizes.

What must the neighbours think? Well, the one on the right has a lit-up sign that says "DITTO", and the other seems to be in competition with the Griswold house, with just as many lights, only in white. It's a snow scene they have created with animated deer, and the only coloured lights are the Santa and EIGHT reindeer they somehow attached to the top of their roof! The Santa waves and shouts, "HO HO HO! Merry Christmas!" The first time I heard that me windows were up (naturally, it was fridged out). I thought, as I sat there at the Stop Sign, that someone was shouting at me. Looking around, I saw no one, so I opened me window, and then I heard and saw it. Yup. And, the reindeer move up and down to boot. Yes, if one is prone to fits, this is the place to give you a whooper of an experience and make you think you're hearing things at the same time.  

Lastly, I'd like to say to all of me good neighbours in me quaint little New England village, I don’t mean to be a Grinch of the first magnitude, no, I do not. However, to those of you who are placing Christmas lights and decorations in your abode yards, would you, could you, please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights? Every time I turn on me road, I think it's the police. I have to jam on me brakes, toss me Guinness out the window, quickly fasten me seatbelt, throw me phone in the backseat, turn me radio off, and push me handgun under the seat. All while trying to drive. It's just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

Gabe

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