Dragon's Secret Sauce

 24 February 2022

1061

R. Linda:

Poor old Dragon, she has had a sight problem, then a hearing problem, and now the old brain is going. She FaceTimed Tonya yesterday to have their weekly chat. She was making dinner when she told Tonya all the news from Jersey. 

I came in time to see Dragon dumping spaghetti water and bringing the sauce to the counter. On the counter was a large empty jar of Chi-Chi's Hot, Thick and Chunky Salsa. I didn't think much of that until Dragon adjusted the picture to where I could see more of the kitchen. She was scooping sauce onto individual plates of spaghetti and shaking grated Parmesan cheese over the top, when I thought, wait a minute, is that salsa or marinara sauce? I did not see a jar of marinara anywhere.

I was going to say something to the oblivious Tonya, but Tonya was busy reading some letter she got from a relative to her mother. I decided to wait and see what happened when everyone took a bite of their dinner. Big Tony came in with the one remaining child at home (hardly a child, a 41-year-old son who recently separated from his wife and moved home to be with mummy and daddy). Both said hi and we had a small chat over Tonya's reading her letter and Dragon putting the plates in front of her famished family.

I watched fascinated as Big Tony swirled the spaghetti on his fork into the bowl of a spoon to scoop it into a neat pile to place in his mouth. The forkful was quite full I noticed and dripping red sauce. He took the big bite and chewed and then his expression looked a little funny and his face was turning beet red. I started laughing and got myself off camera quick because I didn't want him to know I knew what he was experiencing. 

Before he could clue in his son, Sonny took a bite and well we had matching expressions of chagrin. Tonya noticed me laughing my arse off trying to keep it in and looked at me like "WHAT?" I shook me head I couldn't talk for the mirth. I pointed from a distance at the empty jar when both men stood straight up from the table and ran for the trash bin to spit out the hot concoction. Dragon stood ladle in hand all a-wonder at what was happening.

The men said nothing because the sauce was so hot they were downing glasses of water at an alarming rate and couldn't talk even if they wanted to. Dragon shrugged and picked up a fork and before her daughter (who got it) could warn her, took a bite and well her hand flew to her mouth as she moaned and groaned not quite sure what to do with the mouthful of beyond spicy food.

I tell ya I have never seen a family such as this get into so many strange predicaments as Tonya's. I am convinced I married the only sane member of that family. I will say Tonya had a bit of a time keeping a straight face and being sympathetic towards the whole fiasco. Not so much with me, I left the room for the basement to let out the laughter. Unfortunately, the Jersey bunch could hear me as the sound travelled upward. They weren't sure what they were hearing, so Tonya covered nicely for me by telling them the dog was chasing the cat in the basement and that's what they were hearing. Oi!

Gabe

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