I Was Minding Me Own Business When . . .

04 November 2021

1048

R. Linda:

There I was, minding my own business when suddenly the dam broke loose. Life had been too complacent I suppose. The powers that be decided I needed a little excitement to wind me up. I had gone to an outdoor footy (soccer to you) game last Friday around 6, to play on a local team. I have done this to keep me sanity during the pandemic. The wife was coaching a soccer team across town that our youngest plays in and the other two boys were with her. It was a typical Friday for us, we'd be at our respective fields and afterwards, we'd meet for pizza and home.

All were in the usual Friday night mode when my wife's best friend showed up to tell me I needed to call my wife. As you can imagine I was baffled as to why in the middle of a "big" game I'd have to do that, and I asked her what was up.

"YOU are up," she said. "Seems you aren't here but in Lebanon, New Hampshire tied to a gurney screaming obscenities and drunk out of your mind and high on drugs to boot!"

Now when I am on the pitch I do not have my phone and I usually turn it off. Same with Tonya, if she is coaching she has her phone turned off. Well, it seems according to her, that the police came to her field and found her. They told her the hospital in Lebanon was trying to reach her for an emergency with her husband (that would be me). 

At first thought or, no thought at all, she panicked at what could have happened. So she called the hospital and the nurse said this: 

"Is your husband Gabriel A. O'Sullivan?" 

"Yes."

"Well, he is strapped to a gurney because he is unruly from either drinking too much or high from drugs or both."

"WHAT? What happened?"

"He was in Woodstock, Vermont cutting up the town when officers were called. He resisted arrest and they had a time controlling him, so they brought him here to the one facility that could help with drug and alcohol-related problems."

In the background, Tonya could hear cursing and yelling and all kinds of noises going on with what sounded like a struggle. He was shouting something about being an Army Ranger and how if he was free he'd show them a thing or two, or three. She was wondering if I had been telling her I was playing soccer but was really out painting the town all these weeks. And Army Ranger . . .  what was that about?

This prompted Tonya to use a friend's phone to try to call me and, of course, I wasn't picking up because I was on the pitch. You can just imagine divorce papers in me future.

"Is the man tall?" Tonya asked.

"Yes, he is six feet and probably a little more."

"Does he have a bit of a beard?"

"Yes, he does."

"Is his hair dark?"

"Yes, it is. We need to know what allergies he has," the nurse said bringing Tonya back to reality.

"Uh, wait a minute," Tonya answered all of this now dawning on her that it was quite impossible for yours truly to be in Woodstock, Vermont when I left the house an hour ago. Woodstock was over an hour away, so it was impossible.

She asked her friend to go to where I was and see if I was there which she was sure I was. Then she wanted me to call the hospital to identify meself.

Meanwhile, the shouting in the background on the phone was getting louder. 

"THAT is not my husband. I am sure he was NOT in Vermont and he doesn't drink and use drugs!"

Meanwhile, I got the message. I dialled up the hospital and told them who I was and why I was calling. 

"Are you a trained Army Ranger?" I was asked.

"No, no military in this country," I answered.

My medical history was read back to me and they had my chart but I wasn't the person they had strapped to a gurney. After a few more questions the medical person decided I was who I said I was but who was the person on the gurney giving them so much trouble?

Well, turns out the man has the same name but a B initial for his middle name. No relation I am quite certain. Not even from Vermont or New Hampshire. Not an Army Ranger either, I guess the state police had the right information, but not the hospital! Seems this guy is a liar and CRIMINAL! And a drunkard and druggy. 

Now if I end up in the hospital I have to make sure the right chart is pulled for me. Interestingly, he and I share that hospital that we both have charts. Also, if I ever get pulled over by the State Troopers I have to be darn certain they don't pull up THAT guy's record or I be in for a rough time of it. 

Two bizarre happenings, the non-Civil War battle and now this! I hope this "trend" does not continue though I am sure it amuses you.

Gabe

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