How many men does it take to make a pot of coffee

27 January 2023

1089

R. Linda

While I was at work today, back at me abode, Tonya discovered she had Covid. I was not surprised. She had a cold and was doing well until early this a.m. And that turn was all because of me dumbarse cousin Sean.

Meanwhile, Sean got himself a dog, and instead of leashing his dog until it was used to its new home, he let it run free. The first time he did this was yesterday when I was at home. I heard this wild barking and looked out the window to see said dog romping like a gazelle in the snow. I mean leaping like a lord and having a great time. In the background was Sean running after his gazelle and yelling at it to come! Well, it didn't. It kept on going into the woods. I knew if it caught the scent of a deer or fox, it would be gone. Somehow, he caught el doggie and returned to the house short of breath and exhausted from his morning doggy constitutional.

This morning, he did it again, letting the dog free range while brushing the snow off his car. Suddenly, like a flash, the dog took off like a bat out of hell and passed Sean down our long, long driveway out of sight. I was getting ready to leave for work, and the next thing I knew, me wife (who had been suffering from a severe case of congestion and fever) was running after said dog in her sweats in 32-degree weather. I was going outside to tell her I didn't think it a good idea and that she should let the dog's owner worry about it since he did not feel the need to leash his dog, and he had no job and had the entire day or week possibly to look for his animal.

The next thing I see, she jumps in her car and takes off, with no coat, runny nose, cold weather, and an unheated vehicle with Sean in his truck right behind her. She went left, and he went right, and I was gobsmacked. She found the dog two houses over and by that, in city terms, two long blocks away. I chided her, but she said I knew Sean was incapable, and she didn't want anything to happen to el dog. I said I didn't want anything to happen to her, but the dog won.

Then, I found out this afternoon Tonya tested positive for Covid. Am I surprised? Hell no! And I found out Sean told her to get out of bed and help him, and then later,  to jump in her car and help him round up the runaway dog. He knew she had a heavy cold, so I gave him a piece of my mind when I next saw him. 

While I was at work, Tonya requested a cup of coffee from Guido, who was home early because of bad weather. He went to the kitchen and found Sean rifling through the refrigerator and me sainted grey-haired, little apple-cheeked Mam trying to prepare an Irish stout pie for dinner. It seems every time she is preparing a meal Sean comes in and interrupts her harmonious flow of dinner prep. Well, now she had Guido in there requesting she drop what she was doing and brew a pot of coffee. You know what she said, don't you? I don't have to repeat it. Stymied, Guido turned to Sean, who was happy to brew a pot since the sick person had captured his dog.

To be fair, Mam would make the coffee, but she was smack in the middle of making pudding. If she stopped where she was, the pudding would have been ruined and she was almost finished.

Mam told me that never in her life had she witnessed such incompetence. Sean told Guido to fill the empty carafe with water -- all the way to the top, forgetting it has a water line at 12 cups. Mam tsked at them and said not to overfill it. It would pour out all over her clean floor. The carafe was still over the 12-cup mark, but no matter to her, she'd hand whomever a mop. Sean opened the top of the coffee maker and told Guido to pour the water in. Then he showed him the button that turns the burner on. This was all done without coffee grounds in the filter. Mam shouted to stop and shut it down and get coffee in the filter so the thing would brew. OH YEAH, DUH. This they did, trying to figure out how many scoops to put in for 13 or so cups of coffee. Try three or four, Guido was told by Sean. Mam pipped up to try one more! Then, once the coffee was brewed, it was put into a cup, and how many sugars? Do three and a splash of cream, Sean instructed the young laddie.

When Mam saw Guido spoon in TABLESPOONS she said it was too much and the wrong spoon! Sean's reaction was Tonya liked sweet coffee. How would he know? And no, she does not. However, her sense of taste and smell is gone, so maybe she didn't know about all that sugar. I don't know what Tonya thought, but she did order a second cup, only when Mam went to pour it, it was stone cold because fool that he be, Sean had turned to machine off!

I will say we have had some interesting dinners. Sean's got radar when it comes to Mam being in the kitchen preparing a meal. She said he talks up a storm about nothing and confuses her about ingredients, and she has had some tried-and-true dinners turn into disasters because of this. 

I take it the dog is going out leashed. I've heard nothing more about it. The dinner situation is still in jeopardy because of Sean homing in on Mam every time she's in the kitchen. He adds ingredients when she isn't looking. That usually delicious Irish stout pie -- he had heaped brown sugar into it to make it sweeter. It had the sweetness of apple pie. It was RUINED, but he enjoyed it. 

Gabe

Copyright © 2023 All rights reserved