Boxes, Boxes, And More Boxes

 20 August 2021

1033

R. Linda:

Oh, how the mighty fall! Many years ago, I met a production manager who worked for the BBC in London. She was this mousey-looking thing, tall and thin who was born in America but talked with a peppering of a Brit accent. When she spoke, she'd do the Brit stiff upper lip thing but missed the mark on that because her upper lip was anything but stiff. She'd push it out and speak through her two top teeth making her appearance look like she had a bad overbite. By doing this she was able to keep the fake accent going I surmised.

Me problem was when I spoke with her, I could not help imitating that so-called stiff upper lip and there I'd be having a conversation probably looking as mousey or rabbity as herself. I couldn't help meself so I avoided her at any journalistic functions I knew she'd be at. 

It also annoyed me that everyone spoke about her abilities but no one seemed to notice the affectation of her mouth and speech! They all praised her work and BBC was very proud of her according to her assistant production person one Robin. Well, after a few years, I found out why that was, seems Robin was not only the roommate but the girlfriend. 

I did notice at these gatherings, if it was a serve-yourself function this woman was always running to serve Robin whatever delicacies she thought Robin would enjoy. This too, was a bit over the top for an executive to be acting like a serving mouse, I mean woman, but I was the only one that noticed. When I mentioned it to a close colleague of mine, he told me what the relationship was and then I thought that explained it. It just looked odd to me.

The only reason I mention this be because Robin played an important part in what happened to this American pretending to be a Brit. After ten years of being together, Robin decided to find greener pastures. This was a surprise to her significant other, but she encouraged Robin to do what her head told her to do, thinking it was nothing more than a job switch. Well, it wasn't. It seems when our American Brit went home to visit family for a month, Robin found someone else who was exciting and more romantic and while the American Brit was away, Robin moved out, quit her job and got on a plane to Australia with her new significant other. 

When the American Brit came back to London, she found an empty flat and a Dear American Brit letter. One of the things Robin pointed out that she could not stand about her American Brit was the foppery of making her mouth look like a mouse as she spoke and well, frankly it was embarrassing. The American Brit had been doing this for over 15 years and well now it was the only way she could speak! 

Well, I lost track of this nonsense until just the other day when I spoke with another former BBC reporter. We were talking about old times and he mentioned the American Brit and I asked him if she was still with the BBC. No, said he, seems when she got the boot from her Robin, she went back to America and started working as an underwriter for an insurance company. Wow! After all the marvellous things I had heard about her production skills, I was frankly rather shocked.

But, he said, she retired a few years ago after her Mum died and was living on the inheritance that mummy left her. She lived alone all these years and became rather eccentric. How so I asked. He said she got used to talking to herself that when someone visited they'd think there was an invisible person in the flat because this gal would speak to thin air. The visitor thought she was speaking her own thoughts out loud, but after a few minutes realised no, that wasn't the case.

She still doing that, I asked. Well, he didn't know, me friend said, but now she's in a rehab care facility. Her brother was told this behaviour by a family member and he decided he best go check it out for himself. He hadn't seen her for a long while but spoke with her over the phone and wasn't aware of the talking to thin air until told such. He went over to her flat to check on her, but she didn't answer the door. Having a spare key in case of emergency (she be in her 80s now) he let himself in or tried to. Seems he couldn't get in the door for all the unopened cardboard boxes in the hallway. When he finally managed to shove some aside he saw they were stacked up the walls from one end of the hallway to the other. When he glanced in the two front rooms, they too were filled with boxes of all shapes and sizes, none opened.

Well, it seems our American Brit was busy in her back den with headphones clamped securely on her head, watching the Home Shopping Channel and ordering whatever came up on the screen. She became addicted to SHOPPING, but she never opened any of the articles she bought! When confronted with all this, she told her bro she just couldn't help herself and that shopping made her happy even if she bought things she didn't need or care about. 

The conversation opened the brother's eyes to the fact his sister had a huge problem and could not go on spending the rest of her inheritance the way she was or talking to thin air for that matter, so he pulled some legal strings and had her put in a care facility. Further, when he went back to the house with his wife, he found that this shopping extravaganza had been going on for many years. Seems the entire house was full of boxes from the basement to the attic and even the garage and in the car! 

I ascertain a big yard sale probably happened after that with what could not be sent back. I've heard of loneliness doing strange things to a person but never this.

Gabe

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