16 November 2013
722
R. Linda:
I was having a chat with Tonya about surgeries this afternoon, and I really needed a laugh. So Tonya brought up her mother having had hip replacement surgery many years ago. She was telling me how her mother dreaded the operations (Dragon always thought she had a weak heart, though no amount of testing could find a thing wrong with it, just that it is black) and how everything went well despite Dragon's being apprehensive her heart would give out on the table and well . . .
Anyway, she said it was two days before her mother's surgery that her mother had a list of what she needed to bring to hospital. She needed a few tee-shirts and sweatpants for physical therapy and she needed a size larger than she normally wears so there would be no restricting of clothing. Dragon prides herself on her medium petite size, so she would have to bite the bullet and get the large petite and "look stupid," but it was for rehab. SIGH.
Now, this is the norm, it seems, in any kind of joint replacement. So, Dragon (because she didn't want to think about surgery) put buying the necessities off until the very last minute. So because she didn't feel up to mall shopping with the painful hip, she ordered online from a rather nice department store. She saw with the free shipping the sweats and tees would arrive two days before surgery. Easy-peasy and done! Right? Not so fast, the order came in a day earlier than expected, which was a good thing. The reason was that the sweats were the right size, but in TALL when Dragon wears PETITE.
Now Dragon is about 5'2, so no, this wasn't good. Then she looked at the shirts, and they were a size too small. Well, as you can imagine, this did not sit well with the Dragon. There was no time to send back and reorder. You think? Oi!
Because the order came around 7 p.m., Dragon wasn't about to run out to the mall at night. No, indeed, she wasn't. The next day, she fully intended to run to Macy's to the sportswear department and get what she needed, BUT her hip was paining her, and she was not to take medication because of the impending surgery, and she found herself in a pickle she did. What to do?
Well, with no one home but Big Tony, the husband, she sent him to get the sweats and tees. Now, let me say this upfront, Big Tony has his wife buy his clothes, his shoes, and everything else one needs at a store to look like a well-dressed man. Yes, Dragon always dressed him, so what did he know about ladies' clothing? Notta. He didn't even know how to dress himself, let alone his wife!
Anyway, off he went . . . no, not to Macy's (which Dragon had said was a cheap store, and she wasn't going to her fav Bloomies for sweats she wouldn't wear after the hospital stint), no he went to . . . ready for it? Yup, he went to WALMART! Yes, he did and what did he buy? He bought a pair of teal sweatpants, size X Large, and two pairs of bright purple sweats, the same size. She wanted black or grey size L petite. But it doesn't end there. The shirts were X Grande in matching teal with an orange motorcycle on the front and purple with yellow horizontal big stripes that said, THE DUDE on the back shoulders!
Was she happy? No, she was gobsmacked. First, because he went to Walmart, where the masses shop, and second, he bought BIG sizes and, third, COLOURFUL to the extreme. She would not be missed at hospital that's for certain; she would be the Big and Colourful patient who tended toward clown attire.
So an X Large Grande, well . . . she said the waistband of the sweats were so big she couldn't keep them up. The shirts made her look like she was anorexic, and the colours, well, Barnum Bailey, here she comes! Tony, for his part, saw nothing wrong with the colours. Okay, he was sorry about the sizes. He misunderstood her. Yeah, right, he did.
It was that night her daughter Tina went out and bought her the correct sizes and not from Walmart either, she went to Macy's and got decent, soft sweats in black and grey. She also bought a couple of really nice women's tee shirts instead of the men's X Grande that Big Tony had purchased, not knowing there was a difference between men's tees and women's. That is so sad.
Anyway, I had to laugh. Only Dragon. Her motto is: If you want something done right, do it yourself!
I understand fully why she lives by that rule.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
I was having a chat with Tonya about surgeries this afternoon, and I really needed a laugh. So Tonya brought up her mother having had hip replacement surgery many years ago. She was telling me how her mother dreaded the operations (Dragon always thought she had a weak heart, though no amount of testing could find a thing wrong with it, just that it is black) and how everything went well despite Dragon's being apprehensive her heart would give out on the table and well . . .
Anyway, she said it was two days before her mother's surgery that her mother had a list of what she needed to bring to hospital. She needed a few tee-shirts and sweatpants for physical therapy and she needed a size larger than she normally wears so there would be no restricting of clothing. Dragon prides herself on her medium petite size, so she would have to bite the bullet and get the large petite and "look stupid," but it was for rehab. SIGH.
Now, this is the norm, it seems, in any kind of joint replacement. So, Dragon (because she didn't want to think about surgery) put buying the necessities off until the very last minute. So because she didn't feel up to mall shopping with the painful hip, she ordered online from a rather nice department store. She saw with the free shipping the sweats and tees would arrive two days before surgery. Easy-peasy and done! Right? Not so fast, the order came in a day earlier than expected, which was a good thing. The reason was that the sweats were the right size, but in TALL when Dragon wears PETITE.
Now Dragon is about 5'2, so no, this wasn't good. Then she looked at the shirts, and they were a size too small. Well, as you can imagine, this did not sit well with the Dragon. There was no time to send back and reorder. You think? Oi!
Because the order came around 7 p.m., Dragon wasn't about to run out to the mall at night. No, indeed, she wasn't. The next day, she fully intended to run to Macy's to the sportswear department and get what she needed, BUT her hip was paining her, and she was not to take medication because of the impending surgery, and she found herself in a pickle she did. What to do?
Well, with no one home but Big Tony, the husband, she sent him to get the sweats and tees. Now, let me say this upfront, Big Tony has his wife buy his clothes, his shoes, and everything else one needs at a store to look like a well-dressed man. Yes, Dragon always dressed him, so what did he know about ladies' clothing? Notta. He didn't even know how to dress himself, let alone his wife!
Anyway, off he went . . . no, not to Macy's (which Dragon had said was a cheap store, and she wasn't going to her fav Bloomies for sweats she wouldn't wear after the hospital stint), no he went to . . . ready for it? Yup, he went to WALMART! Yes, he did and what did he buy? He bought a pair of teal sweatpants, size X Large, and two pairs of bright purple sweats, the same size. She wanted black or grey size L petite. But it doesn't end there. The shirts were X Grande in matching teal with an orange motorcycle on the front and purple with yellow horizontal big stripes that said, THE DUDE on the back shoulders!
Was she happy? No, she was gobsmacked. First, because he went to Walmart, where the masses shop, and second, he bought BIG sizes and, third, COLOURFUL to the extreme. She would not be missed at hospital that's for certain; she would be the Big and Colourful patient who tended toward clown attire.
So an X Large Grande, well . . . she said the waistband of the sweats were so big she couldn't keep them up. The shirts made her look like she was anorexic, and the colours, well, Barnum Bailey, here she comes! Tony, for his part, saw nothing wrong with the colours. Okay, he was sorry about the sizes. He misunderstood her. Yeah, right, he did.
It was that night her daughter Tina went out and bought her the correct sizes and not from Walmart either, she went to Macy's and got decent, soft sweats in black and grey. She also bought a couple of really nice women's tee shirts instead of the men's X Grande that Big Tony had purchased, not knowing there was a difference between men's tees and women's. That is so sad.
Anyway, I had to laugh. Only Dragon. Her motto is: If you want something done right, do it yourself!
I understand fully why she lives by that rule.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
4 comments:
LMAO
So did YOU buy some sweats?
I have sweats and to be honest why would one need to be a fashion plate in a hospital when everyone else be wearing gowns open down the back?
lol sounds like your mother-in-law needs a personal shopper
well, I guess if you have a cute butt and want everyone to admire it, I'd go with the open back gown!LOL
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