07 September 2013
706
R. Linda:
Since school has started and Tonya has gone back to work, the Dragon-in-law has graciously offered to take care of the newbie. Add to this she had cataract surgery scheduled for last Monday with a doctor up here. Having been through it once (and it was an easy process), she said it would not interfere with her caring for the youngest.
So Tuesday rolled around (and I being the one that had the day off), I was the designated driver to the surgical centre and home. I did not want to spend me day with the Dragon, but had little choice. With the wee one in tow at the ungodly hour of 7:40 a.m. we get to the centre and she (being coffee-less), couldn't answer the questions asked of her. I had to sit next to her like an interpreter and help her. When asked to sign on the dotted line, she protested, that the reason she was there was because she couldn't see to sign on any dotted line. Oi! The receptionist put big red Xs on the sheets and she managed her scribble. I tell ya!
The surgery commences and when done, I am asked to go into the "recovery" room and get ready to take herself home. There she was, one eye covered, drinking ginger ale and munching on fig newtons. Once she finished her "feast" which is what she called it, I was told to bring the car to the door and they would bring her out. This I did, and I had to laugh because two nurses had her by the arms like Amanda Knox's jailers and were leading the half-sighted Dragon to me motor. Yes, the thought went through me mind I'd like to drive her to an Italian prison and drop her Dragon arse off, but well . . .
Once we were off she told me the doctor was making sounds like things were going wrong. He even said, "That's too long," and she thought it was the suture, but later decided it was the lens he implanted. Oi!
The next day Lois drove her over for the removal of the eye patch. When I got home from work Wednesday I hear her on the phone with one of her sons saying this:
"I had eye surgery, and I can't read a blasted thing! So much for correcting THAT problem. I need a magnifying glass and I wish I was kidding, but I do. I can see me out shopping and using a MAGNIFYING GLASS to check out prices. Do you think I'll be noticed? Or worse looking over the meat poundage in a supermarket meat aisle. Something tells me I will be arrested for terrorising the meat section."
I stood there in total awe listening.
"I also have a huge red blood spot and a white bubble on the surface of the eye. I don't know what's going on. I had a dream this morning that after the surgery I had one normal eye and one huge dilated eye. Little did I know I really did! So it's back to the eye doctor Friday to find out what the hell he did. The other eye surgery went extremely well, none of this stuff and it's been two years no problem. I get the other eye done thinking easy peasy and no, not this time.
(She listens for a moment then continues):
"Oh, that! Jeanie's pumpkin carving party, I don't know I can carve and hold a magnifying glass at the same time. Heck, I probably couldn't find the pumpkin so . . . so much for your party. Sorry dear, tell Jeanie for me will you please? Something tells me I'll be spending a lot of time at the doctor's office . . . with my magnifying glass."
I had to hear about this the entire night. She was at the mirror constantly giving updates on the fact that BOTH eyes were now bloodshot. I told her to rest them, she was causing eyestrain and that was all that was, and was told I wasn't a doctor so what did I know? Right.
Friday, Lois once again took her to her appointment, and Lois be near sainthood for doing these trips in me book, let me tell you that much. So the HUGE blood spot has shrunk, and the doctor told her that was the incision where he took out the cataract, and the pink bubble, yes it had turned pink now, was the incision where he had put the lens in. That both would disappear as the eye heals.
The doctor was pleased with the way the eyes looked. But she pointed out to him that she could see distance better now than ever before but could not read. So what was up with that? Well, what was up is the eye is still dilated and as it goes back to normal she should be able to read. But if she's still having trouble, she can get those over-the-counter low-magnified reading glasses.
"Low magnified?" she said, "I need a heavy-duty prescription because I can't see an arm's length in front of me!"
"Give it time, please, the healing is perfect." Said doctor.
Tonight when I walked in, I hear this being said over speakerphone to her other daughter in Jersey:
"Yeah, I can see Manhattan from the second-floor window."
"What, how?" Asks her daughter.
I had to leave because I was thinking Tonya's sister had dyed her hair blond, I know, I know I'll get in trouble again for saying that, but really? But then it went a little further and I just had to eavesdrop.
"I can't read but I can see far far away," Dragon said.
"Is your eye still dilated?" The daughter asked.
"Oh yeah, it is."
"When will it be normal?"
"Never! I have x-ray vision now and superpowers of long-distance vision."
"Really Mom?"
"Well, if my sense of smell was better I would be a Marvel comic book heroine."
"We'll have to get you a special suit!" The daughter says brightly to which I had to do everything I could to keep from bursting out laughing that she would be so . . . so . . . BLOND!
That's been my week and it isn't getting any better. She's staying until this eye thing is resolved . . . or not. I think she's jumped the gun and needs to let that eye heal and the dilation goes away before she sees any real results. Already she can see a hundred times better, even if she can't read fine print, she can at least see signs and get around.
Been fun . . . NOT!
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Since school has started and Tonya has gone back to work, the Dragon-in-law has graciously offered to take care of the newbie. Add to this she had cataract surgery scheduled for last Monday with a doctor up here. Having been through it once (and it was an easy process), she said it would not interfere with her caring for the youngest.
So Tuesday rolled around (and I being the one that had the day off), I was the designated driver to the surgical centre and home. I did not want to spend me day with the Dragon, but had little choice. With the wee one in tow at the ungodly hour of 7:40 a.m. we get to the centre and she (being coffee-less), couldn't answer the questions asked of her. I had to sit next to her like an interpreter and help her. When asked to sign on the dotted line, she protested, that the reason she was there was because she couldn't see to sign on any dotted line. Oi! The receptionist put big red Xs on the sheets and she managed her scribble. I tell ya!
The surgery commences and when done, I am asked to go into the "recovery" room and get ready to take herself home. There she was, one eye covered, drinking ginger ale and munching on fig newtons. Once she finished her "feast" which is what she called it, I was told to bring the car to the door and they would bring her out. This I did, and I had to laugh because two nurses had her by the arms like Amanda Knox's jailers and were leading the half-sighted Dragon to me motor. Yes, the thought went through me mind I'd like to drive her to an Italian prison and drop her Dragon arse off, but well . . .
Once we were off she told me the doctor was making sounds like things were going wrong. He even said, "That's too long," and she thought it was the suture, but later decided it was the lens he implanted. Oi!
The next day Lois drove her over for the removal of the eye patch. When I got home from work Wednesday I hear her on the phone with one of her sons saying this:
"I had eye surgery, and I can't read a blasted thing! So much for correcting THAT problem. I need a magnifying glass and I wish I was kidding, but I do. I can see me out shopping and using a MAGNIFYING GLASS to check out prices. Do you think I'll be noticed? Or worse looking over the meat poundage in a supermarket meat aisle. Something tells me I will be arrested for terrorising the meat section."
I stood there in total awe listening.
"I also have a huge red blood spot and a white bubble on the surface of the eye. I don't know what's going on. I had a dream this morning that after the surgery I had one normal eye and one huge dilated eye. Little did I know I really did! So it's back to the eye doctor Friday to find out what the hell he did. The other eye surgery went extremely well, none of this stuff and it's been two years no problem. I get the other eye done thinking easy peasy and no, not this time.
(She listens for a moment then continues):
"Oh, that! Jeanie's pumpkin carving party, I don't know I can carve and hold a magnifying glass at the same time. Heck, I probably couldn't find the pumpkin so . . . so much for your party. Sorry dear, tell Jeanie for me will you please? Something tells me I'll be spending a lot of time at the doctor's office . . . with my magnifying glass."
I had to hear about this the entire night. She was at the mirror constantly giving updates on the fact that BOTH eyes were now bloodshot. I told her to rest them, she was causing eyestrain and that was all that was, and was told I wasn't a doctor so what did I know? Right.
Friday, Lois once again took her to her appointment, and Lois be near sainthood for doing these trips in me book, let me tell you that much. So the HUGE blood spot has shrunk, and the doctor told her that was the incision where he took out the cataract, and the pink bubble, yes it had turned pink now, was the incision where he had put the lens in. That both would disappear as the eye heals.
The doctor was pleased with the way the eyes looked. But she pointed out to him that she could see distance better now than ever before but could not read. So what was up with that? Well, what was up is the eye is still dilated and as it goes back to normal she should be able to read. But if she's still having trouble, she can get those over-the-counter low-magnified reading glasses.
"Low magnified?" she said, "I need a heavy-duty prescription because I can't see an arm's length in front of me!"
"Give it time, please, the healing is perfect." Said doctor.
Tonight when I walked in, I hear this being said over speakerphone to her other daughter in Jersey:
"Yeah, I can see Manhattan from the second-floor window."
"What, how?" Asks her daughter.
I had to leave because I was thinking Tonya's sister had dyed her hair blond, I know, I know I'll get in trouble again for saying that, but really? But then it went a little further and I just had to eavesdrop.
"I can't read but I can see far far away," Dragon said.
"Is your eye still dilated?" The daughter asked.
"Oh yeah, it is."
"When will it be normal?"
"Never! I have x-ray vision now and superpowers of long-distance vision."
"Really Mom?"
"Well, if my sense of smell was better I would be a Marvel comic book heroine."
"We'll have to get you a special suit!" The daughter says brightly to which I had to do everything I could to keep from bursting out laughing that she would be so . . . so . . . BLOND!
That's been my week and it isn't getting any better. She's staying until this eye thing is resolved . . . or not. I think she's jumped the gun and needs to let that eye heal and the dilation goes away before she sees any real results. Already she can see a hundred times better, even if she can't read fine print, she can at least see signs and get around.
Been fun . . . NOT!
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
9 comments:
if it was a lens meant for someone else she'd know it and so would her surgeon. could be if she's got all that going on she isn't giving it a chance. rarely do eye surgeons get things wrong and could be she's too picky?
maybe she should have kept an eyepatch, she could hang out with Capt. Jaack!
LOL Cappy, I have an extra eye-patch she wants it! Yarrrrrrrr
Oh oh ouch. I just released your comment AND Capt Jaack's and well . . . may I venture to say LIKE MINDS THINK ALIKE? ROFLMAO
You been drinking rum with me muse have you Jaack?
Oh no, don't tell me this. Me Mam is about to have cataract surgery herself. Oi!
Well, don't tell her or better don't READ the story to her.
To be honest, her first surgery was like nothing ever happened, just that her vision was vastly improved. So much so she couldn't wait to get the other one done. BUT let's be rational, she didn't have the same doc the second time around. Yup.
Weird! I guess things have changed. dad got cataract surgery both eyes 6 weeks apart and had to wear a funky clear plastic eye patch with holes. Then medicated eyedrops 4 times a day and not to overstrain his eyes until they were totally healed.
No I definitely won't read it to her she will change her mind! Since her fall I don't think she will be doing it anytime soon but it has to be done. Hopefully she will have good experience and see much better so she won't be falling again! Geezums!
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