02 August 2013
Story #692
R. Linda:
Never in all me born days have I got an invitation to a party like the one that came in the mail today. I'm bloody confused, but I'll attend, but then again, maybe not. It's the least I can do since both people giving the party are friends of mine, but . . .
So what has me? The invite reads:
Come and celebrate Aiden and Breana's last day as man and wife.
Yee-ah. Okay, so my friends, the Gallaghers (and never a stranger pair), are getting a divorce, and here's one last party before the final decree is issued. WHO DOES THAT?
Oh, did I mention the party be in Dublin? No, not Dublin, New York, or Dublin, New Hampshire; the other one in Ireland. So I have to book meself a flight to Dublin (and we know how much I love Dublin Airport -- NOT) and walk miles from the gate to the parking lot, and off I go to Dublin 8. And Bob's your uncle, I'll be in party central.
Now this half-amused, half-annoyed me, so I rang up a mutual friend in Dublin and asked him what was going on.
"Oh Gabriel, ye missed da separation party, dint ye git the invite?" Asks me friend Harry McGee.
"No, Harry. I did not receive such a ting. A separation party? Truly?" I didn't know they were having problems, but it seems so.
"Yeah, was such a ting indeed, and it ended early when da peelers arrived. Someone rang 'em oop and said we were rowdy and brawlin', and well, dat wasn't exactly true, but pretty near it was. It all started when dere was a discussion by Herself dat da only conventional ting either of 'em ver did was git married. Himself took exception he did, and well . . . it got outa hand. He started wit da coffee table and broke it up wit a chair and den she got hold of his mam's plate ware and started throwin' it, sayin' all da while she never liked the plates OR his muddah."
Oh my. I was happy I missed that. I could only think the "last day" party would be pretty much on the same theme of finishing off what furniture was left, and I voiced this to Harry.
"Well, Gabe, yer roight ye are. Aiden said the only way ta logically end tings was ta finish wot dey started. He said dey couldn't figure oot how to divide oop wot was left, so instead dey decided ta literally break up da home since dat was wot it was all aboot."
I listened, too stunned to say a word.
"Herself said she couldn't be bothered with the hassle of it anyway, so she dint care and so she agreed to end tings in "style" and have a bonfire if she could git a permit and burn it all. It'll be a night ta remember, Gabe."
For sure," I said, meaning it and wondering how one obtains a burn permit in Dublin proper, and for lacquered furniture.
"Yer not da only one surprised, Gerry and Annie O'Reardon were sayin' ta me wot a crazy idea it was, especially afta da separation party. Gerry said, 'Trust Aiden ta git da beer goin' an den a bit of sumting else an gittin' everyone involved. I mean if yer gonna bust up a home yer might as well bust it up good.' And well, that's what dis uter be about. I heard Aiden got a supply of hammers and pick axes fur da occasion."
I grunted. What was I to say?
"Da idea is to knock anyting upright doon, leaving nuthin' standin' . . . " and Harry sighed.
"Em . . . all right." Said I, nearly speechless. "It'll all be a smashing success."
Harry laughed at that, but truly, I did not mean to be amusing. I was just thinking of all the broken furniture that surrounded a marriage of 16 years laying in smithereens and said so.
"Look at it dis way, Gabe, dey can look ta starting over clean. Nuthin' ta remind them of dere past. Dere will be no temptation of trying again like so many doo."
"I don't know if me flyin' all the way over to Dooblyn would be wort it." I voiced aloud. "I mean just ta break up sum furniture . . . " I was talking me way out of it I was.
"Yeah, probably we'll all git hauled in fer boisterous riot," Harry laughed unconvincingly.
It was shortly after I hung up that I was a definite NO-SHOW. As much as I like the Gallaghers, I can do without the fiasco. I wanted to share this with you because it isn't every day, or at all, that one gets an invitation to a last day of a marriage party.
SIGH.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Never in all me born days have I got an invitation to a party like the one that came in the mail today. I'm bloody confused, but I'll attend, but then again, maybe not. It's the least I can do since both people giving the party are friends of mine, but . . .
So what has me? The invite reads:
Come and celebrate Aiden and Breana's last day as man and wife.
Yee-ah. Okay, so my friends, the Gallaghers (and never a stranger pair), are getting a divorce, and here's one last party before the final decree is issued. WHO DOES THAT?
Oh, did I mention the party be in Dublin? No, not Dublin, New York, or Dublin, New Hampshire; the other one in Ireland. So I have to book meself a flight to Dublin (and we know how much I love Dublin Airport -- NOT) and walk miles from the gate to the parking lot, and off I go to Dublin 8. And Bob's your uncle, I'll be in party central.
Now this half-amused, half-annoyed me, so I rang up a mutual friend in Dublin and asked him what was going on.
"Oh Gabriel, ye missed da separation party, dint ye git the invite?" Asks me friend Harry McGee.
"No, Harry. I did not receive such a ting. A separation party? Truly?" I didn't know they were having problems, but it seems so.
"Yeah, was such a ting indeed, and it ended early when da peelers arrived. Someone rang 'em oop and said we were rowdy and brawlin', and well, dat wasn't exactly true, but pretty near it was. It all started when dere was a discussion by Herself dat da only conventional ting either of 'em ver did was git married. Himself took exception he did, and well . . . it got outa hand. He started wit da coffee table and broke it up wit a chair and den she got hold of his mam's plate ware and started throwin' it, sayin' all da while she never liked the plates OR his muddah."
Oh my. I was happy I missed that. I could only think the "last day" party would be pretty much on the same theme of finishing off what furniture was left, and I voiced this to Harry.
"Well, Gabe, yer roight ye are. Aiden said the only way ta logically end tings was ta finish wot dey started. He said dey couldn't figure oot how to divide oop wot was left, so instead dey decided ta literally break up da home since dat was wot it was all aboot."
I listened, too stunned to say a word.
"Herself said she couldn't be bothered with the hassle of it anyway, so she dint care and so she agreed to end tings in "style" and have a bonfire if she could git a permit and burn it all. It'll be a night ta remember, Gabe."
For sure," I said, meaning it and wondering how one obtains a burn permit in Dublin proper, and for lacquered furniture.
"Yer not da only one surprised, Gerry and Annie O'Reardon were sayin' ta me wot a crazy idea it was, especially afta da separation party. Gerry said, 'Trust Aiden ta git da beer goin' an den a bit of sumting else an gittin' everyone involved. I mean if yer gonna bust up a home yer might as well bust it up good.' And well, that's what dis uter be about. I heard Aiden got a supply of hammers and pick axes fur da occasion."
I grunted. What was I to say?
"Da idea is to knock anyting upright doon, leaving nuthin' standin' . . . " and Harry sighed.
"Em . . . all right." Said I, nearly speechless. "It'll all be a smashing success."
Harry laughed at that, but truly, I did not mean to be amusing. I was just thinking of all the broken furniture that surrounded a marriage of 16 years laying in smithereens and said so.
"Look at it dis way, Gabe, dey can look ta starting over clean. Nuthin' ta remind them of dere past. Dere will be no temptation of trying again like so many doo."
"I don't know if me flyin' all the way over to Dooblyn would be wort it." I voiced aloud. "I mean just ta break up sum furniture . . . " I was talking me way out of it I was.
"Yeah, probably we'll all git hauled in fer boisterous riot," Harry laughed unconvincingly.
It was shortly after I hung up that I was a definite NO-SHOW. As much as I like the Gallaghers, I can do without the fiasco. I wanted to share this with you because it isn't every day, or at all, that one gets an invitation to a last day of a marriage party.
SIGH.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
Doesn't sound like breaking up is hard to do between those two. Oi!
ReplyDeleteUm ... LOL I can relate unfortunately and I think you should go, LMAO
ReplyDeleteSounds like a walloping good time, excuse the pun. Think of the story material you are passing up by not attending. LOL
ReplyDeleteThe first mate and I have one of these parties every year Cappy. LOL
ReplyDeleteLMAO
ReplyDeleteSounds like a fun party! NOT
lol you need to go to that!
ReplyDelete