09 July 2013
683
R. Linda:
Here I am writing to you AGAIN while you sit in the other room watching the telly with Ton and the boyos. Yes, I secretly enjoy writing to you on the blog instead of talking to you because I know it will make you a basket case to have to READ my words instead of hearing them. Revenge be sweet!
And the reason I be taking me revenge on you tonight is BECAUSE of the lightning storm you had me out in this afternoon. My hands still shake (making it hard to type), I still have that burnt metal taste in me mouth, I can still smell burning flesh where the jolt got me in the left leg, and for some crazy reason (which I suspect has to do with that jolt) I feel like I be full of electrical current!
Unfortunately, the lightning did not knock my memory for a loop and I can still recall everything! Yes, I remember it was after lunch (I had taken the day off for your visit), and we could hear the rumble of thunder and Tonya saying a storm was coming and she hoped it wasn't a downpour that the rain wouldn't smash her roses to the ground, and then there was you, shaking with delight at the thought of a thunder and lightning storm. You had your little hands clapping together and your eyes were lit up like traffic lights. It was with alarm I looked at you and I knew, yes I KNEW, the way you were looking at me WHAT you had in mind. I remember backing up into the open refrigerator and feeling the ice cube tray on my ear when I jumped forward and you slammed the fridge door shut and grabbed me wrist and pulled me to the mud room where you got up on that step ladder and whispered in me ear, "Gabe, we must do this! We must see the northern lightning."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I said, "you mean northern lights, not lightning."
"No, I mean northern lightning, I've never seen it!"
"It's no different than Colorado lightning," I whispered back.
"Yes, it is! I'll prove it! Go get your hoodie and meet me on the back porch."
Oi! It wasn't like I didn't know better, BUT I did, I got my hoodie and met you on the back porch. Stupid me, on my way to me doom, but I went and listened to you AGAIN, and see what I got for it? I be just short a crispy critter. Yup.
So we go down the back porch stairs, no one in the house knows we were sneaking off to the backyard like two demented scientists. The rain was heavy, the trees were bending and to keep us from getting sopping wet you had me under a tree! Oh yeah you did, don't deny that wasn't YOUR idea.
The winds shifted dramatically and there it came LIGHTNING that lit up the entire world as far as I was concerned. And there you were jumping up and down saying stupid things to me like, "Gabe isn't this FUN?" and "WOW did you see that flash?" and "WHOA! That was close."
The rumbling and crashing and the flashing lightning were all around us. I was too petrified to move, I tell ya! We were within feet of a lightning strike, I'll admit it was impressively bright and LOUD, and the ozone smell was overpowering, BUT it was freaking scary!
"I don't think we should be under this tree," I shouted over the thunder at you. You didn't seem to hear me so I pulled you by the scruff of your orange hoodie and started to drag you back towards the house when you suddenly gave me several swift kicks in me shins stopping me. The rain was letting up and I looked down at you. We were both pretty dry from the shelter of the tree we stupidly had been standing under.
"It's letting up Gabriel." You said up at me.
It seemed to be, the rain was lighter and the thunder was further off, there was no more lightning near but you could see flashes of it in the distance.
"If we stay right here we can watch it with no fear." You said.
I sighed, this was crazy talk but you were my guest. You turned toward me and put your arms up like me boyos do to be lifted up. I stepped back and said with no small amount of incredulousness, "REALLY? You want me to lift you up?"
"Yeah, I can't see the lightning flashes from down here."
I don't know what possessed me but I lifted you up just as Tonya came out on the porch with her sweater draped over her shoulders yelling to us to come inside.
"Be in just a minute, a few more lightning flashes for the Muse and we'll be right in," I said, wondering if the scene of me standing in the open backyard holding you up like one of me kiddos was a strange sight. Tonya didn't say a word, I'll give her that, but I did not miss the amused look on her face as she turned to go back in. I wondered about that because she looked like she had some dastardly idea brewing, but I was too focused on the storm to give it much thought.
The wind was picking up again, though the rain had lessened considerably. You were entranced by it and I was wondering if the storm was coming back!
"Look how that lightning bolt arched up into that cloud right when the strike happened. See, see there?" You said pointing into the distance at what looked like the storm forming up again. It was then the cat got my attention, he came up meowing as if to say "Whatcha doin'?" with his tail straight up and somewhat bushy as if he'd been hit with an electrical charge. He sat next to us and was busy preening himself as I looked out at where the lightning bolt had been. The lightning was all over the place in the distance, and this was starting to concern me, but not you. You were "electrified" that's the only way to describe it. I heard a click behind me which made me jump almost dropping you when I turned me head around to see the wife disappearing inside with what I thought was our camera. And I was right because she took the picture just before all hell broke loose.
You got my attention when you shouted, "Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! FIREBALL!!!"
And within seconds there was an airborne crash that exploded behind us which scared the hell of us AND the cat. The cat rocketed back toward the house at warp speed. It will stay with me forever how loud that was and it shocked and shook me to my core it did! YOU laughed, I could smell something burning -- IT WAS ME! I staggered with you in me arms and almost fell into the hole in the ground the lightning had made and worse onto the smouldering pine needles!
I put you down because me arms were shaking like spaghetti noodles, I had a funny taste in me mouth and the hairs on my arms were swaying with static electrically. It was you pointing to me shredded pant leg and looking guilty (well, not really looking guilty, you were trying not to laugh), I had got that jolt that hit the ground and moved up my leg. YOU were just super duper you said as you whistled and started for the house, your hands in your pockets like it was just another stroll in the park. I tell ya!
Me eyes were slits in my charred head, as I watched you walk away like no big deal, it was only Gabe. I was interrupted in my vengeful thoughts when another crack overhead and a blast of light sent me lurching for the safety of the house.
"Gabe go get the hose and put that fire out!" The wife pointed to the smouldering hole in a panic.
"Are you crazy? I'm not going out there!" I said completely forgetting my injury for a moment. The rain was pelting the house and it was making the sparks smoke up and I could see it was going out.
Lucky for me the burn on me calf isn't much. The doctor says it's ONLY second-degree and that scarring is a possibility but is more like a pigment change in the skin. But me trousers are ruined. YOU are no worse for wear, but the cat, well the cat was a different story. It took us two hours to find Mr. Kits. He had flattened himself in an attic closet in the dark. I had to drag him out by the scruff of the neck. When he was out in the light of the room we could see that the electricity from the lightning strike had caused every hair on his body to stand on end. He was lying there like roadkill. He was quite a sight. I wanted to take a picture but Tonya said to leave him be, he was all out of sorts and not to add insult to injury.
It took about 30 minutes, but he's up and getting around, sort of. He walks around shaking his paws as if he's walking in water. We called the vet, and the vet says he'll stop doing that in an hour and not to subject him to loud noises or it will take longer for him to recover his balance. Ye-ah.
I can hardly wait for what's next.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Here I am writing to you AGAIN while you sit in the other room watching the telly with Ton and the boyos. Yes, I secretly enjoy writing to you on the blog instead of talking to you because I know it will make you a basket case to have to READ my words instead of hearing them. Revenge be sweet!
And the reason I be taking me revenge on you tonight is BECAUSE of the lightning storm you had me out in this afternoon. My hands still shake (making it hard to type), I still have that burnt metal taste in me mouth, I can still smell burning flesh where the jolt got me in the left leg, and for some crazy reason (which I suspect has to do with that jolt) I feel like I be full of electrical current!
Unfortunately, the lightning did not knock my memory for a loop and I can still recall everything! Yes, I remember it was after lunch (I had taken the day off for your visit), and we could hear the rumble of thunder and Tonya saying a storm was coming and she hoped it wasn't a downpour that the rain wouldn't smash her roses to the ground, and then there was you, shaking with delight at the thought of a thunder and lightning storm. You had your little hands clapping together and your eyes were lit up like traffic lights. It was with alarm I looked at you and I knew, yes I KNEW, the way you were looking at me WHAT you had in mind. I remember backing up into the open refrigerator and feeling the ice cube tray on my ear when I jumped forward and you slammed the fridge door shut and grabbed me wrist and pulled me to the mud room where you got up on that step ladder and whispered in me ear, "Gabe, we must do this! We must see the northern lightning."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I said, "you mean northern lights, not lightning."
"No, I mean northern lightning, I've never seen it!"
"It's no different than Colorado lightning," I whispered back.
"Yes, it is! I'll prove it! Go get your hoodie and meet me on the back porch."
Oi! It wasn't like I didn't know better, BUT I did, I got my hoodie and met you on the back porch. Stupid me, on my way to me doom, but I went and listened to you AGAIN, and see what I got for it? I be just short a crispy critter. Yup.
So we go down the back porch stairs, no one in the house knows we were sneaking off to the backyard like two demented scientists. The rain was heavy, the trees were bending and to keep us from getting sopping wet you had me under a tree! Oh yeah you did, don't deny that wasn't YOUR idea.
The winds shifted dramatically and there it came LIGHTNING that lit up the entire world as far as I was concerned. And there you were jumping up and down saying stupid things to me like, "Gabe isn't this FUN?" and "WOW did you see that flash?" and "WHOA! That was close."
The rumbling and crashing and the flashing lightning were all around us. I was too petrified to move, I tell ya! We were within feet of a lightning strike, I'll admit it was impressively bright and LOUD, and the ozone smell was overpowering, BUT it was freaking scary!
"I don't think we should be under this tree," I shouted over the thunder at you. You didn't seem to hear me so I pulled you by the scruff of your orange hoodie and started to drag you back towards the house when you suddenly gave me several swift kicks in me shins stopping me. The rain was letting up and I looked down at you. We were both pretty dry from the shelter of the tree we stupidly had been standing under.
"It's letting up Gabriel." You said up at me.
It seemed to be, the rain was lighter and the thunder was further off, there was no more lightning near but you could see flashes of it in the distance.
"If we stay right here we can watch it with no fear." You said.
I sighed, this was crazy talk but you were my guest. You turned toward me and put your arms up like me boyos do to be lifted up. I stepped back and said with no small amount of incredulousness, "REALLY? You want me to lift you up?"
"Yeah, I can't see the lightning flashes from down here."
I don't know what possessed me but I lifted you up just as Tonya came out on the porch with her sweater draped over her shoulders yelling to us to come inside.
"Be in just a minute, a few more lightning flashes for the Muse and we'll be right in," I said, wondering if the scene of me standing in the open backyard holding you up like one of me kiddos was a strange sight. Tonya didn't say a word, I'll give her that, but I did not miss the amused look on her face as she turned to go back in. I wondered about that because she looked like she had some dastardly idea brewing, but I was too focused on the storm to give it much thought.
The wind was picking up again, though the rain had lessened considerably. You were entranced by it and I was wondering if the storm was coming back!
"Look how that lightning bolt arched up into that cloud right when the strike happened. See, see there?" You said pointing into the distance at what looked like the storm forming up again. It was then the cat got my attention, he came up meowing as if to say "Whatcha doin'?" with his tail straight up and somewhat bushy as if he'd been hit with an electrical charge. He sat next to us and was busy preening himself as I looked out at where the lightning bolt had been. The lightning was all over the place in the distance, and this was starting to concern me, but not you. You were "electrified" that's the only way to describe it. I heard a click behind me which made me jump almost dropping you when I turned me head around to see the wife disappearing inside with what I thought was our camera. And I was right because she took the picture just before all hell broke loose.
And within seconds there was an airborne crash that exploded behind us which scared the hell of us AND the cat. The cat rocketed back toward the house at warp speed. It will stay with me forever how loud that was and it shocked and shook me to my core it did! YOU laughed, I could smell something burning -- IT WAS ME! I staggered with you in me arms and almost fell into the hole in the ground the lightning had made and worse onto the smouldering pine needles!
I put you down because me arms were shaking like spaghetti noodles, I had a funny taste in me mouth and the hairs on my arms were swaying with static electrically. It was you pointing to me shredded pant leg and looking guilty (well, not really looking guilty, you were trying not to laugh), I had got that jolt that hit the ground and moved up my leg. YOU were just super duper you said as you whistled and started for the house, your hands in your pockets like it was just another stroll in the park. I tell ya!
Me eyes were slits in my charred head, as I watched you walk away like no big deal, it was only Gabe. I was interrupted in my vengeful thoughts when another crack overhead and a blast of light sent me lurching for the safety of the house.
"Gabe go get the hose and put that fire out!" The wife pointed to the smouldering hole in a panic.
"Are you crazy? I'm not going out there!" I said completely forgetting my injury for a moment. The rain was pelting the house and it was making the sparks smoke up and I could see it was going out.
Lucky for me the burn on me calf isn't much. The doctor says it's ONLY second-degree and that scarring is a possibility but is more like a pigment change in the skin. But me trousers are ruined. YOU are no worse for wear, but the cat, well the cat was a different story. It took us two hours to find Mr. Kits. He had flattened himself in an attic closet in the dark. I had to drag him out by the scruff of the neck. When he was out in the light of the room we could see that the electricity from the lightning strike had caused every hair on his body to stand on end. He was lying there like roadkill. He was quite a sight. I wanted to take a picture but Tonya said to leave him be, he was all out of sorts and not to add insult to injury.
It took about 30 minutes, but he's up and getting around, sort of. He walks around shaking his paws as if he's walking in water. We called the vet, and the vet says he'll stop doing that in an hour and not to subject him to loud noises or it will take longer for him to recover his balance. Ye-ah.
I can hardly wait for what's next.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
6 comments:
Rofl! The picture is hilarious
roflmao funny stuff; love the photo
Cappy, I dodge storms like that on the sea all the time. The Pearl is grounded for lightning strikes, we don't have a metal gypsy on the windlass and we do pretty well. Would love to take you out in a storm of size if you are game, savvy?
No, no savvy here. I thank you for the offer, but prefer to keep me landlubber feet where they are. What on earth is a metal gypsy?
Yo ho Cappy for a captain you should know this savvy? Its the chainwheel or wrapping drum. Come on now Cappy put that noggin to use, think windlass, think anchor, think ship! You have been landlocked too long and we need to get you out on the Pearl swabbing the decks. P-) Yar!
I still DON'T know what it is and no, no, that last outing with the rolling bottle of rum was enough memories of the Pearl to last a lifetime. BUT thanks!
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