25 June 2013
678
R. Linda:
While you and the Weasil try to stave off smoke inhalation from the fires burning in the Colorado hills, I have been enjoying the weather you both sent me. Yes, it is with ferocious relish I gather up the strength to face another exhilarating day of breathing in the 90+ degree weather. Yes indeed, nothing like it, thank you both so much!
It has been such a good time I thought I'd share a typical heat-worn day with you since you both seem to think it funny that cool New England should be garnering itself precariously on a heat wave. As I sleep, the ceiling fan runs and the fan on a stand (yes, I know that rhymes), blows straight on me hot self. As a result, I don't feel much of the heat UNTIL I awaken feeling soggy and sweaty. I drag meself to the shower without coffee (that's how hot it is) and take a cold shower. Once out and dressed in front of the fan (to stave off sweating by the small exertion of putting on clothing), I find coffee was made by the irritable wife. I take meself off with a hot cup of joe to me air-conditioned Saturn. In I get and off I go none the worse for wear, I tell ya!
The morning routine has served me well the past three mornings, but this one . . . not so much. I had pulled onto the interstate and what happens? Me air conditioning goes out! All I was getting was a face full of hot air compliments of the fan (that was still working)! I fiddled with the controls to no avail and realising I was air condition-less, I had to open the windows! What a shock that was, as they came down at first, the force of the air was okay but as I had to slow down to a crawl for stop and go traffic, it became downright bloody HOT!
I'd thank my lucky stars each time I hit a stretch of go traffic, but it never lasted, no the hot air hitting me made me brain believe it was cooling but it wasn't really. This became obvious when I hit the stop-and-crawl traffic. I had loosened me tie at one point and ended up taking it off at another. Unbuttoned the buttons at me throat and later halfway down me navel. By the time I hit the parking garage in Boston, I was half undressed and a sweaty mess.
Getting meself back together I left the windows open a crack (the parking garage was stifling!) and getting me tie and jacket on, briefcase in hand, took off to ground level and out into the oppressively hot air of the street. I trudged slowly (because I had no energy as it was sucked out of me by the heat) and made me way to me air-conditioned office. I had used the thought of blessed AC relief as an incentive to drive meself forward to me building. Upon entering, I had to stop and enjoy the cold blast of Arctic air that caught hold of me in the lobby. It was DELICIOUS as they used to say in Victorian times. I tell ya! As soon as I had me fill, I got meself into a crowded elevator only to have to swelter with a bunch of other hot bodies to the sixth floor.
I was never so happy to get off that elevator and out and away from crammed heat that had risen me temperature a full 40 degrees I be sure. The coolness seemed delightful until I got to me cubicle and sat for a moment waiting on me computer to come to electronic life. As I sat there, I realised heat rises and that must be the case that it was rising from the first floor and stopped dead on the sixth, MY FLOOR!
"Hey Sandy, is the AC on in here?" I asked a passing copy girl.
"It is, but it's so hot outside it seems like it isn't working. The coolest place is the lobby." And off she went.
If I could take me desk to the lobby I would have, but as that wasn't a possibility I sighed and started me work. As I sat there I realised the heat from a turned-on computer can raise the temperature at least 100 degrees higher. Yup, it does. If you don't believe me turn your computer on in an enclosed box of a room like me cubicle, without a fan and give it a few minutes and you'll see I am correcto mondo.
I had pulled at that infernal invention known as a tie and loosened it, then I pulled at it again and undid it. Finally, I unconsciously was pulling it from me neck and unbuttoning the collar buttons again, in the quest to stop the sweat. After another half hour, all shirt buttons undone. After half an hour more, shirt is off and I be sitting in me undershirt, completely oblivious I had started to undress as I was focused on a deadline I had to meet by lunchtime.
I had without thinking about it unbuckled me belt and the top button of me trousers. Within four hours of arrival, and four hours of intense work on me story, I was sitting completely in me underwear without a thought I had undressed meself such was the heat in me cubicle from lack of AC, and heating up electronics!
The first I knew something was amiss, was when the ladies on the floor would walk passed me concentrating self -- giggling. I had notta clue and was too focused on me computer screen to take a gander at meself. But as I was near finishing, I could feel the presence of a woman standing in me doorway. I glanced up to see Cruella with a sneer on her face.
"Wot?" I looked up perplexed.
"Nothing," said she, "You going to have THAT ready for me at 12?"
"Yup, almost done."
"Good, bring it to my office when you are finished." And off she went.
I went back to me glowing screen thinking her behaviour odd. I punched in the last of me corrections, read it through once again and then printed it all off. I was standing in front of me little printer attached to me computer thinking, good, as soon as this is done I will switch the machines off, go out for some lunch and when I get back the cubicle will be cooler.
The printing done, I shuffled the pages together and glancing at the clock which said five minutes to the appointed hour, walked off to Cruella's office and as I did, there were bursts of laughter that gave me pause but I walked on to get the copy off on time. As I entered the office I handed over me copy and realised Cruella was staring at me knees. It was then I looked down and realised me lack of clothing! Yes I did, I had stripped down to me skivvies with nothing but me dark socks and shoes remaining along with me unmentionables. On noticing this I sat down in one of the chairs in front of Cruella's desk trying to cover me half nude self!
She looked at me with amusement written on her face saying nothing as she banged the pages of me story together on her desk.
"I be so sorry," I began.
"You were focused on your piece." She said with sarcasm.
"Piece?" I looked down at me shorts. "OH you mean me story," I said realising too late what she meant IF she really meant that. Something tells me she meant not me story, but . . . well you know.
"Now that you are finished, you might think about putting on some clothing, or do you think you'll be cooler on the streets of Boston in your tighty whities?" Again, said with dripping sarcasm.
"Not tighty whities, boxers," I said indignantly. "I didn't realise . . . " I started to explain.
"Not a problem, stay where you are." She leaned where she could see out the door and called to Barney the mail room boy.
"Yes ma'am?" He said putting his head around the door frame. I looked over me shoulder, his red beefy face was aching to burst out laughing, but because of Cruella, he struggled to hold it in, the wee bastard!
"Barney," Cruella said quietly, "would you be a dear and fetch Mr. O'Sullivan's discarded clothing from his cubicle please?"
"Oh sure," Barney replied with a small laugh. I wanted to kick his arse for that, but I stayed where I was as Cruella got up and started to close the blinds on the side of the office where I was sitting.
"For your dignity," she smiled as Barney came in with me clothing which I grabbed out of his arms as he leered at me loving the joke that I didn't find funny.
As he left us I pulled me trousers on quickly, as Cruella stood in the doorway back to me, looking out at the giggling mass on the floor.
Was me face red? You betcha it was the colour of an overripe beet! When finally put together I sat back down and that was her cue to turn around.
"Well, it's been quite a day for you so far," she said going behind her desk to sit. "I would assume you need time to live this latest office drama down?"
"Yes, yes that would be nice, but how does one DO that exactly?" I asked feeling the heat in me face.
"Well, I suppose one could go out on your lunch hour and buy a small fan. Then make a show of setting it up in one's cubicle to suggest how hot one's cubicle really is. OR, I suppose you could act like nothing out of the ordinary ever happened, I mean there you are fully clothed, so what underwear?"
I looked at her seething in silence for a while trying to think of something witty to say. Wit eluded me but not her.
"OR, I could announce it national news underwear day and anyone who finds the building too hot could start to strip down." She thought about that for a moment then changed her mind. "NO, that would get us all in trouble, because I'm sure there are a few out there that would take it to the extreme, like Annabella with the new boob job." She looked at me, "You know show them off."
I was not amused. I sat there with one eyebrow raised in question, looking at her smug self without a retort on me tongue, damn me. When I need something caustic to say it never comes until two hours later when I be home and no longer in that person's presence. However, being quite a bit embarrassed, I did stammer an explanation.
"When I be home, I work in me loft and while it seems light and airy up there, the heat rises and it gets like a hot box. I usually be intent on me work and if I get hot, it's by rote I start to shed clothing." I shrugged like that said it all.
"Really Gabriel?" Cruella said like she believed none of it. "I do hope you warn visitors of your undress before they come up."
That was uncalled for AND it was cruel, yes it was. She was being a super B now and why? Because one of her favourite persons in the whole news business did something mindless and guilt by association was kicking in.
"I don't sit butt naked at me desk if that's what you are inferring," I said glaring at her smug self.
"I didn't say that did I?" She acted all taken aback and there is the key word, "acted."
"You were inferring it." I wasn't backing down. I was starting to heat back up from not only embarrassment, but getting rather heated with the discussion, and being fully clothed (once again), I unconsciously began to loosen the tie and pull it off. Yes, I was going there without thinking! But I caught meself as she sat there looking all-knowing at me.
"See? See this?" I held up the tie, "there I go again. Can't be helped."
"Well, if that's the case, then we have a real problem on our hands don't we?" She said quietly tapping a pencil on her desktop.
"What problem?" I bit, I had notta clue.
"When things get heated, how can I trust you in a situation like that, that you won't start disrobing?"
"WOT?" I jumped up.
"Sit down Gabe," she laughed. "I'm only pulling your leg."
I sat reluctantly. She changed gears pretty quickly to the piece I wrote and I spent a good hour discussing the content. By the time I finished, I had forgotten me faux pas but upon walking out of Cruella's office, no one on the floor had forgotten it.
As I neared me cubicle, Maureen whispered, "Nice seeing you dressed."
Well, the few minutes I was getting ready to go out into the canyons of hell for lunch, I got more of the same from others, only the ones that know me were adventurous to comment. I took it good-humouredly though I wasn't feeling the humour.
While out I bought me a fan. Yes, I did. I did just what Cruella suggested and made a big fuss over setting it up. At first, the rest of me coworkers were giggling, but by the time I had that baby set up, the blades at top speed, and the cool air whizzing through me hair, they were all jealous! I noticed within an hour the entire floor had cleared out and in dribs and drabs they all reappeared with small fans!
"See what you started?" Cruella said passing me desk.
I smiled up at her and we did a hand bump, yes we did. All is near forgotten I do declare (also as they used to say in Victorian times). Yup, all is well in the world of Gabe UNTIL I have to get into me air condition-less motor and drive in stop and crawl traffic home. But wait, unknown to yourself, I bought me a small car fan. Yup, you plug it into your ciggy lighter and feck stop and crawl!
Gabe
R. Linda:
While you and the Weasil try to stave off smoke inhalation from the fires burning in the Colorado hills, I have been enjoying the weather you both sent me. Yes, it is with ferocious relish I gather up the strength to face another exhilarating day of breathing in the 90+ degree weather. Yes indeed, nothing like it, thank you both so much!
It has been such a good time I thought I'd share a typical heat-worn day with you since you both seem to think it funny that cool New England should be garnering itself precariously on a heat wave. As I sleep, the ceiling fan runs and the fan on a stand (yes, I know that rhymes), blows straight on me hot self. As a result, I don't feel much of the heat UNTIL I awaken feeling soggy and sweaty. I drag meself to the shower without coffee (that's how hot it is) and take a cold shower. Once out and dressed in front of the fan (to stave off sweating by the small exertion of putting on clothing), I find coffee was made by the irritable wife. I take meself off with a hot cup of joe to me air-conditioned Saturn. In I get and off I go none the worse for wear, I tell ya!
The morning routine has served me well the past three mornings, but this one . . . not so much. I had pulled onto the interstate and what happens? Me air conditioning goes out! All I was getting was a face full of hot air compliments of the fan (that was still working)! I fiddled with the controls to no avail and realising I was air condition-less, I had to open the windows! What a shock that was, as they came down at first, the force of the air was okay but as I had to slow down to a crawl for stop and go traffic, it became downright bloody HOT!
I'd thank my lucky stars each time I hit a stretch of go traffic, but it never lasted, no the hot air hitting me made me brain believe it was cooling but it wasn't really. This became obvious when I hit the stop-and-crawl traffic. I had loosened me tie at one point and ended up taking it off at another. Unbuttoned the buttons at me throat and later halfway down me navel. By the time I hit the parking garage in Boston, I was half undressed and a sweaty mess.
Getting meself back together I left the windows open a crack (the parking garage was stifling!) and getting me tie and jacket on, briefcase in hand, took off to ground level and out into the oppressively hot air of the street. I trudged slowly (because I had no energy as it was sucked out of me by the heat) and made me way to me air-conditioned office. I had used the thought of blessed AC relief as an incentive to drive meself forward to me building. Upon entering, I had to stop and enjoy the cold blast of Arctic air that caught hold of me in the lobby. It was DELICIOUS as they used to say in Victorian times. I tell ya! As soon as I had me fill, I got meself into a crowded elevator only to have to swelter with a bunch of other hot bodies to the sixth floor.
I was never so happy to get off that elevator and out and away from crammed heat that had risen me temperature a full 40 degrees I be sure. The coolness seemed delightful until I got to me cubicle and sat for a moment waiting on me computer to come to electronic life. As I sat there, I realised heat rises and that must be the case that it was rising from the first floor and stopped dead on the sixth, MY FLOOR!
"Hey Sandy, is the AC on in here?" I asked a passing copy girl.
"It is, but it's so hot outside it seems like it isn't working. The coolest place is the lobby." And off she went.
If I could take me desk to the lobby I would have, but as that wasn't a possibility I sighed and started me work. As I sat there I realised the heat from a turned-on computer can raise the temperature at least 100 degrees higher. Yup, it does. If you don't believe me turn your computer on in an enclosed box of a room like me cubicle, without a fan and give it a few minutes and you'll see I am correcto mondo.
I had pulled at that infernal invention known as a tie and loosened it, then I pulled at it again and undid it. Finally, I unconsciously was pulling it from me neck and unbuttoning the collar buttons again, in the quest to stop the sweat. After another half hour, all shirt buttons undone. After half an hour more, shirt is off and I be sitting in me undershirt, completely oblivious I had started to undress as I was focused on a deadline I had to meet by lunchtime.
I had without thinking about it unbuckled me belt and the top button of me trousers. Within four hours of arrival, and four hours of intense work on me story, I was sitting completely in me underwear without a thought I had undressed meself such was the heat in me cubicle from lack of AC, and heating up electronics!
The first I knew something was amiss, was when the ladies on the floor would walk passed me concentrating self -- giggling. I had notta clue and was too focused on me computer screen to take a gander at meself. But as I was near finishing, I could feel the presence of a woman standing in me doorway. I glanced up to see Cruella with a sneer on her face.
"Wot?" I looked up perplexed.
"Nothing," said she, "You going to have THAT ready for me at 12?"
"Yup, almost done."
"Good, bring it to my office when you are finished." And off she went.
I went back to me glowing screen thinking her behaviour odd. I punched in the last of me corrections, read it through once again and then printed it all off. I was standing in front of me little printer attached to me computer thinking, good, as soon as this is done I will switch the machines off, go out for some lunch and when I get back the cubicle will be cooler.
The printing done, I shuffled the pages together and glancing at the clock which said five minutes to the appointed hour, walked off to Cruella's office and as I did, there were bursts of laughter that gave me pause but I walked on to get the copy off on time. As I entered the office I handed over me copy and realised Cruella was staring at me knees. It was then I looked down and realised me lack of clothing! Yes I did, I had stripped down to me skivvies with nothing but me dark socks and shoes remaining along with me unmentionables. On noticing this I sat down in one of the chairs in front of Cruella's desk trying to cover me half nude self!
She looked at me with amusement written on her face saying nothing as she banged the pages of me story together on her desk.
"I be so sorry," I began.
"You were focused on your piece." She said with sarcasm.
"Piece?" I looked down at me shorts. "OH you mean me story," I said realising too late what she meant IF she really meant that. Something tells me she meant not me story, but . . . well you know.
"Now that you are finished, you might think about putting on some clothing, or do you think you'll be cooler on the streets of Boston in your tighty whities?" Again, said with dripping sarcasm.
"Not tighty whities, boxers," I said indignantly. "I didn't realise . . . " I started to explain.
"Not a problem, stay where you are." She leaned where she could see out the door and called to Barney the mail room boy.
"Yes ma'am?" He said putting his head around the door frame. I looked over me shoulder, his red beefy face was aching to burst out laughing, but because of Cruella, he struggled to hold it in, the wee bastard!
"Barney," Cruella said quietly, "would you be a dear and fetch Mr. O'Sullivan's discarded clothing from his cubicle please?"
"Oh sure," Barney replied with a small laugh. I wanted to kick his arse for that, but I stayed where I was as Cruella got up and started to close the blinds on the side of the office where I was sitting.
"For your dignity," she smiled as Barney came in with me clothing which I grabbed out of his arms as he leered at me loving the joke that I didn't find funny.
As he left us I pulled me trousers on quickly, as Cruella stood in the doorway back to me, looking out at the giggling mass on the floor.
Was me face red? You betcha it was the colour of an overripe beet! When finally put together I sat back down and that was her cue to turn around.
"Well, it's been quite a day for you so far," she said going behind her desk to sit. "I would assume you need time to live this latest office drama down?"
"Yes, yes that would be nice, but how does one DO that exactly?" I asked feeling the heat in me face.
"Well, I suppose one could go out on your lunch hour and buy a small fan. Then make a show of setting it up in one's cubicle to suggest how hot one's cubicle really is. OR, I suppose you could act like nothing out of the ordinary ever happened, I mean there you are fully clothed, so what underwear?"
I looked at her seething in silence for a while trying to think of something witty to say. Wit eluded me but not her.
"OR, I could announce it national news underwear day and anyone who finds the building too hot could start to strip down." She thought about that for a moment then changed her mind. "NO, that would get us all in trouble, because I'm sure there are a few out there that would take it to the extreme, like Annabella with the new boob job." She looked at me, "You know show them off."
I was not amused. I sat there with one eyebrow raised in question, looking at her smug self without a retort on me tongue, damn me. When I need something caustic to say it never comes until two hours later when I be home and no longer in that person's presence. However, being quite a bit embarrassed, I did stammer an explanation.
"When I be home, I work in me loft and while it seems light and airy up there, the heat rises and it gets like a hot box. I usually be intent on me work and if I get hot, it's by rote I start to shed clothing." I shrugged like that said it all.
"Really Gabriel?" Cruella said like she believed none of it. "I do hope you warn visitors of your undress before they come up."
That was uncalled for AND it was cruel, yes it was. She was being a super B now and why? Because one of her favourite persons in the whole news business did something mindless and guilt by association was kicking in.
"I don't sit butt naked at me desk if that's what you are inferring," I said glaring at her smug self.
"I didn't say that did I?" She acted all taken aback and there is the key word, "acted."
"You were inferring it." I wasn't backing down. I was starting to heat back up from not only embarrassment, but getting rather heated with the discussion, and being fully clothed (once again), I unconsciously began to loosen the tie and pull it off. Yes, I was going there without thinking! But I caught meself as she sat there looking all-knowing at me.
"See? See this?" I held up the tie, "there I go again. Can't be helped."
"Well, if that's the case, then we have a real problem on our hands don't we?" She said quietly tapping a pencil on her desktop.
"What problem?" I bit, I had notta clue.
"When things get heated, how can I trust you in a situation like that, that you won't start disrobing?"
"WOT?" I jumped up.
"Sit down Gabe," she laughed. "I'm only pulling your leg."
I sat reluctantly. She changed gears pretty quickly to the piece I wrote and I spent a good hour discussing the content. By the time I finished, I had forgotten me faux pas but upon walking out of Cruella's office, no one on the floor had forgotten it.
As I neared me cubicle, Maureen whispered, "Nice seeing you dressed."
Well, the few minutes I was getting ready to go out into the canyons of hell for lunch, I got more of the same from others, only the ones that know me were adventurous to comment. I took it good-humouredly though I wasn't feeling the humour.
While out I bought me a fan. Yes, I did. I did just what Cruella suggested and made a big fuss over setting it up. At first, the rest of me coworkers were giggling, but by the time I had that baby set up, the blades at top speed, and the cool air whizzing through me hair, they were all jealous! I noticed within an hour the entire floor had cleared out and in dribs and drabs they all reappeared with small fans!
"See what you started?" Cruella said passing me desk.
I smiled up at her and we did a hand bump, yes we did. All is near forgotten I do declare (also as they used to say in Victorian times). Yup, all is well in the world of Gabe UNTIL I have to get into me air condition-less motor and drive in stop and crawl traffic home. But wait, unknown to yourself, I bought me a small car fan. Yup, you plug it into your ciggy lighter and feck stop and crawl!
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
10 comments:
ROFLMAO
sorry but the image of you in your underwear AND shoes in the office is too much for me!
one question, what color were your socks?LMAO
Woo hoo Gabe! I'm trying to contain myself LMAO
Arrr Cappy I know just what you mean. There I was on the Pearl enjoying an early fall in Maine when three days ago Texas arrived! Don't feel alone in the disrobing cappy, I often do the exact same thing when I am steering the ship ... or I see a pretty girl on board! Har!
whoohoo! lmao
Was for a lot of people :-(
Does it matter? Really? They were dark brown and so were the shoes. I hope that adds to your visual enjoyment, ;-(~
Tried harder!
LMAO
I COULD'VE asked what kind of boxers!LOL
I am I am lol
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