28 April 2013
661
R. Linda:
Well, it has come to my attention today that if one is over 50, one should cut the teenage vocabulary off at the ankles. I was nearly driven to distraction by a woman who was well over 50 and sounded like she just got out of high school. No, it wasn't pretty it was embarrassing -- for her, but she didn't seem to know it.
I guess there is always one person in the crowd who holds onto youth with fake fingernails and hopes that the dab of eyeliner will cover nature's design and somehow the rest of us with poor ageing eyesight won't notice she or in some cases he, isn't the vibrant youth of long, long ago.
We were invited to neighbours for a welcome home party in honour of their Afghanistan Vet son. It was a lovely gathering of his friends and neighbours, everyone was truly happy to see him home and supportive of his deployment. Only there was one person, who wanted to be the centre of attention and unfortunately was. She's a blond chickie whom I've met at prior get-togethers and she is a piece of teenage work, though it's been a long time since she saw the other side of 50. This gal is in her mid-fifties, my wife says late fifties but it doesn't matter, just know "she's up there." She has two teenage sons, correction one teenager aged 19 and one young man aged 21. And it seems she is one of those divorced types that are on the prowl for a man, yes she is. And it doesn't matter if that man is married or not, she will give it a flirty go even IF the wife is standing 3 feet away. I tell ya!
So here's the deal, this time the party was poolside and she came dressed like a 20-year-old. Wearing a short skirt because she thinks she has good legs (they look like chicken sticks to me), a jingly chain belt, she had a sparkly top that when the sun reflected off the water, blinded just about everyone near her, or the very least we all were sporting flashy dots before our eyes. The hair was striped blond on blond like a skunk, you know those great chunks of colour that look like thick stripes of one colour and then the other which looks as natural as if I tried colouring someone's hair. Gobs of makeup, so much so that I wondered if she used a jackhammer to get it off. She had on heels that gave her at least 8 more inches of height and she tottered in them and all I could think of was PAIN each time she lurched by. Of course, as she began to totter she'd conveniently fall into the arms of whatever man was nearby and of course, the giggling like a dumb blond would take over and the words, "I'm such a klutz sometimes," would be uttered in a very feminine put on voice, like we were Marilyn Monroe. Oi!
We had all got plates of food and were basically mingling while we ate and all was well UNTIL Sparkle-A-Plenty (for want of a name) came up to the small party of four men (me included) who were talking about Obama care. Giggling, she fell into Sam (who is very married and probably the youngest of our little chat circle) and she gave him her klutz line, he rights her up so she's standing on her own with a smile and a quick glance to see where his wife is at, and as the wife is nowhere in sight he lets out a sigh of relief and continues talking about Obama care. But not for long because she interrupts him and says, "Oh M Gee, like I love your 'compassionate conservatism' but like we all need like universal health insurance, like I think this new health care thingie, like is just the sickest thing to do Dudes, cus if when we run outta monee we will need the G O V (yes she spelt that out) to keep us freakin' healthy, YOLO!"
Yup, she said it just like that and we all felt very uncomfortable because we had been bemoaning the new healthcare system when Ms. Obama Fan AKA Sparkle-A-Plenty put her two-pence in. To not embarrass her we quickly changed gears and said how good the food was, especially the macaroni salad. I know, I know, we wimped out.
We are all guilty of using the current teenage slang every once and a while, but really? She went for the full Monty she did. Every other word was peppered with the word "like." LIKE she wasn't sure of anything she said, which was probably truly the case. And when she was finished with the word LIKE, she went into this: "You know? What's that dude's name? Oh you know . . . whatshisname, LIKE Donald something, you know?" Yeah, she took the "you knows" out and combined them with LIKE and well it was LIKE talking to someone just about to repeat kindergarten combined with a bad memory problem.
When one of us finally figured out she was referring to "that rich guy" Donald Trump, she said, "LOL" and we all sort of looked covertly at each other but not for long because this pearl dropped out of her mouth next, "LIKE I think the Donald is a hottie!" Oh sure, and so did we, NOT. WTF? When she actually asked us if we thought the Donald was hot, we all said NO! And she accused us of having our own 'bromance' going with the likes of Mark Cuban. One of us didn't know who Mark Cuban was, so that was bizarre, well the whole conversation was nothing short of bizarre.
"OHHH I have LIKE to stop drinkin' this, like I'll be 'smashed' ok?" She said rolling her eyes and showing us the umbrella drink that she was nearly finished with. WHICH allowed Sam to ask her if she needed another, to which she said, "Squib me deux Zima, G bones!" and off he went to never return the bastard. Leaving three of us with the ditz head.
"LIKE Gabriel, you ever been to LIKE Iraq? LIKE in your business they send you over there, LIKE to report or something, OK?"
Oi! Like to report or something. Gees the woman. I told her no, just a simple no, and shut me pie hole.
"Like Danny, I heard you bought your wife a new Mazda OK, LIKE COOL! LIKE when I heard that I thought wow rich DUDE, you know? Like I bet if you had a girlfren' you'd buy her one too!"
And Danny, well he smiled uncomfortably as his face took on a bright red hue and nodded just before he downed his entire rock glass of straight Glenlivet in one gulp. Holding the empty glass up, he gestured he was on his way for another and said to us he had to check his 'binder full of women'. That left me and my neighbour Ben. Oh, we knew we were stuck. Both of our minds were racing with an excuse to get away, but we were saved! Yes we were, my wife showed up and that made Ms. Sparkle-A-Plenty totter off to her next group of males.
But it didn't end there, no R. Linda, it was pool time! And our pesky blond person came . . . oh let me set this up for you just the way I saw it.
In the dazzling sunlight, wearing big mirror sunglasses, a huge floppy straw sun hat, tottering on 8" black high heels, dressed in a bronze sparkly wet-look bikini, sporting a huge bright yellow towel with a giant daisy on it, came Sparkle to poolside. Now the pool is heated so this was not too early in the season for Sparkle to be decked out in what she thought was 'come hither' attire. It was also her way of showing off for the "girlfriens" (yes, that is what she called the women at the party (SIGH)), that she had a good figure for having had two kiddos. Now this did not go over big with the pregnant wife, no, no it did not, NOR did it go over with any of the other women there. The ones that were over thirty were in one-piece swimsuits because (none of them) were competing with anyone else including the twenty-somethings in bikinis, nor were interested in roping in someone else's husband or the young single 20-something men. No, they were there for the man of honour that day, not to show off what they had, or didn't have.
Nope, only Sparkle was sparkling herself to a poolside chair, where she made quite the show of placing her towel so her rear end was to be admired by all, and as she made her poolside nest, the cleavage was flashed as well. Then she got herself into her chair and asked a hunky young male guest to slather her in suntan lotion, which he refused. YES, R. Linda, he REFUSED! Can you imagine a male refusing? Well, he did and he took off and was standing beside his girlfriend who looked smugly back at Sparkle who didn't (because of the sun in her eyes) see the look she was getting. Well, she did find one volunteer, Arnie Schmitt who we call Schmitty. He is a 40-something, with thick glasses covering a pasty and somewhat bad complexion, a bald guy, and an around nerd. And the good news is -- HE'S SINGLE!
Reluctantly, very reluctantly she allowed him to put lotion on her shoulders and then told him "Ok, AWKWARD, like that's enough ok!" And he moved off embarrassed by her loud remarks and actually left the party or as Sparkle called it par-tay because he thought she purposely did that. And she did! He wasn't good enough, let's face it. Married guys are so much safer. That's what Carol (a friend of ours) said.
Now Carol is a petite little thing with a figure that is better than Sparkle's and she's quite a bit younger. Carol is a 32-year-old TRAINER. Anyway what she lacks in height she gains in personality and she's just so darned CUTE! You know that phrase cute as a button? That's Carol. She's a brunette, no skunk stripes for her, and in a one-piece bathing suit, well a bikini-clad Sparkle couldn't hold a candle. So over to Sparkle goes Cutey Carol. She puts herself in the pool chair next to our wannabe siren and says, "You could have been nicer to Arnie. He thought he was helping."
"SHOCKER like, you know he's NOT my boyfriend OK?" Sparkle retorts in a loud whisper.
"No one here is are they?" Carol flipped back.
"Like what do you mean?"
"You said "boyfriend" you are referring to, for you, the guy that buys you nice jewellery."
Uh oh. I was standing not far so I heard all this and was thinking CAT FIGHT!
But Sparkle wasn't going to engage. She gets up and says, "BRB."
And not liking the computer lingo, Carol looks up at her and says, "Seriously? Save that for the teenagers on the other side of the pool."
That stopped Sparkle in her tottering heels.
"Like what did you say?" She tottered, her swaying shadow making the sun come and go across Carol's face.
"You heard me," Carol said returning Sparkle's stare.
"Like you don't have to get your whitey tighties in a twist, ok?"
"The proper word is UNDERWEAR." Carol corrected with a sneer.
"Panties," Sparkle said.
Carol shook her head and said to her, "How old are you? You hurry back now you hear?" And she laughed to herself as Sparkle tottered off.
I looked at Tonya and she looked at me, both of us had stuffed our mouths full of food to keep from saying anything at all or laughing out loud or as Sparkle would have put it, so we didn't LOL.
Tonya took herself over next to Carol's chair and said softly, "You know Carol, Sparkle won't call you her "girlfren'" anymore," and she giggled.
"Well, she's not black so she has no right to use that," Carol said smiling.
"Girlfren'," Tonya laughed, "high five!" And they did. I had a question and quietly asked Carol why she was sticking it to Sparkle.
"She came in and started immediately on my Freddie. She was hanging on him laughing at his silly jokes, and sometimes, no offence Gabe, but you guys just don't get it. Anyway, when she couldn't get his undivided attention, might be because I joined the group, and she went off to work her immature magic on you."
"You think?" Tonya smiled.
"Yeah, was strangely bizarre. She was talking like she's 16." I said, "Too many "oks, likes, ya knows, neato, cool dudes, etc."
"Let me tell you, I know if she had Tonya's ear she'd need protective headgear and professional supervision she didn't get her head handed to her. Like I said, the 'girlfriends' thing is just a bit much coming out of a white woman's mouth. And the Internet words, save them for the Internet! When uttered out loud they sound plainly STRANGE and STUPID! I realise we all are guilty now and then of reverting to a word our kids use much, BUT not like HER. I am not impressed and it doesn't make her seem younger than she is, so why? She comes off like a stupid dumb blond with a bad dye job!"
WOW. LOLOLOLOL!!!
"There are definitely words an AARP cardholder should not use. Like 'never, ever.'" Tonya joked.
"She said something to Freddie about "swag" and "salty" and "with it dudes," and I was like what on earth is she trying to communicate? You could tell everyone was clueless."
"She's just trying to be "in" the know as they used to say. But I agree." I said.
Well, Sparkle left her daisy towel, floppy straw sun hat, and suntan lotion and never came back as long as Carol was there. It did not stop her from going to the other side of the pool and putting on a show for the younger crowd that naturally congregated to their own age group. She was the life of the party. She was doing cannonballs in the pool, and she was sitting on guys' shoulders in the pool, she even got in on a water volleyball game that pitted the young women against the young men. One of the women even asked her since "you're the oldest maybe you should be the referee." And when Sparkle said she wasn't "that old," the youngun said, "Uhhh. . . " And then thinking quickly finished up with, "I just don't want to see you get hurt."
That didn't deter Sparkle, no instead it made her mad that her age was showing so she joined in and well, she was a wet drowned mess by the end of it. Not only that, but she was drunk as a skunk (with hair to match). A falling down drunk at that and what a spectacle she made of herself. But the sad is, she won't remember any of that. I tell ya, I don't know what it is, but maybe she can't deal with being older, or she's just lonely. I don't know, but when I think of the way she looks with the bright striped hair, the youngish clothing, and the slang terms, she comes up as the last person one would want to be caught in an elevator with OR on a deserted island.
I know many over 50 women who are intelligent, put together, refined and sociable without the false sparkle. They have an inner light that radiates warmth and goodness and not one uses words that hit you over the head like a sledgehammer, nor are they touchy-feely social misfits looking for anything in trousers. But like Tonya says, "There is always one, and you should feel sad for them because they just have not grown up and simply don't know how they come off." Well, I guess.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Well, it has come to my attention today that if one is over 50, one should cut the teenage vocabulary off at the ankles. I was nearly driven to distraction by a woman who was well over 50 and sounded like she just got out of high school. No, it wasn't pretty it was embarrassing -- for her, but she didn't seem to know it.
I guess there is always one person in the crowd who holds onto youth with fake fingernails and hopes that the dab of eyeliner will cover nature's design and somehow the rest of us with poor ageing eyesight won't notice she or in some cases he, isn't the vibrant youth of long, long ago.
We were invited to neighbours for a welcome home party in honour of their Afghanistan Vet son. It was a lovely gathering of his friends and neighbours, everyone was truly happy to see him home and supportive of his deployment. Only there was one person, who wanted to be the centre of attention and unfortunately was. She's a blond chickie whom I've met at prior get-togethers and she is a piece of teenage work, though it's been a long time since she saw the other side of 50. This gal is in her mid-fifties, my wife says late fifties but it doesn't matter, just know "she's up there." She has two teenage sons, correction one teenager aged 19 and one young man aged 21. And it seems she is one of those divorced types that are on the prowl for a man, yes she is. And it doesn't matter if that man is married or not, she will give it a flirty go even IF the wife is standing 3 feet away. I tell ya!
So here's the deal, this time the party was poolside and she came dressed like a 20-year-old. Wearing a short skirt because she thinks she has good legs (they look like chicken sticks to me), a jingly chain belt, she had a sparkly top that when the sun reflected off the water, blinded just about everyone near her, or the very least we all were sporting flashy dots before our eyes. The hair was striped blond on blond like a skunk, you know those great chunks of colour that look like thick stripes of one colour and then the other which looks as natural as if I tried colouring someone's hair. Gobs of makeup, so much so that I wondered if she used a jackhammer to get it off. She had on heels that gave her at least 8 more inches of height and she tottered in them and all I could think of was PAIN each time she lurched by. Of course, as she began to totter she'd conveniently fall into the arms of whatever man was nearby and of course, the giggling like a dumb blond would take over and the words, "I'm such a klutz sometimes," would be uttered in a very feminine put on voice, like we were Marilyn Monroe. Oi!
We had all got plates of food and were basically mingling while we ate and all was well UNTIL Sparkle-A-Plenty (for want of a name) came up to the small party of four men (me included) who were talking about Obama care. Giggling, she fell into Sam (who is very married and probably the youngest of our little chat circle) and she gave him her klutz line, he rights her up so she's standing on her own with a smile and a quick glance to see where his wife is at, and as the wife is nowhere in sight he lets out a sigh of relief and continues talking about Obama care. But not for long because she interrupts him and says, "Oh M Gee, like I love your 'compassionate conservatism' but like we all need like universal health insurance, like I think this new health care thingie, like is just the sickest thing to do Dudes, cus if when we run outta monee we will need the G O V (yes she spelt that out) to keep us freakin' healthy, YOLO!"
Yup, she said it just like that and we all felt very uncomfortable because we had been bemoaning the new healthcare system when Ms. Obama Fan AKA Sparkle-A-Plenty put her two-pence in. To not embarrass her we quickly changed gears and said how good the food was, especially the macaroni salad. I know, I know, we wimped out.
We are all guilty of using the current teenage slang every once and a while, but really? She went for the full Monty she did. Every other word was peppered with the word "like." LIKE she wasn't sure of anything she said, which was probably truly the case. And when she was finished with the word LIKE, she went into this: "You know? What's that dude's name? Oh you know . . . whatshisname, LIKE Donald something, you know?" Yeah, she took the "you knows" out and combined them with LIKE and well it was LIKE talking to someone just about to repeat kindergarten combined with a bad memory problem.
When one of us finally figured out she was referring to "that rich guy" Donald Trump, she said, "LOL" and we all sort of looked covertly at each other but not for long because this pearl dropped out of her mouth next, "LIKE I think the Donald is a hottie!" Oh sure, and so did we, NOT. WTF? When she actually asked us if we thought the Donald was hot, we all said NO! And she accused us of having our own 'bromance' going with the likes of Mark Cuban. One of us didn't know who Mark Cuban was, so that was bizarre, well the whole conversation was nothing short of bizarre.
"OHHH I have LIKE to stop drinkin' this, like I'll be 'smashed' ok?" She said rolling her eyes and showing us the umbrella drink that she was nearly finished with. WHICH allowed Sam to ask her if she needed another, to which she said, "Squib me deux Zima, G bones!" and off he went to never return the bastard. Leaving three of us with the ditz head.
"LIKE Gabriel, you ever been to LIKE Iraq? LIKE in your business they send you over there, LIKE to report or something, OK?"
Oi! Like to report or something. Gees the woman. I told her no, just a simple no, and shut me pie hole.
"Like Danny, I heard you bought your wife a new Mazda OK, LIKE COOL! LIKE when I heard that I thought wow rich DUDE, you know? Like I bet if you had a girlfren' you'd buy her one too!"
And Danny, well he smiled uncomfortably as his face took on a bright red hue and nodded just before he downed his entire rock glass of straight Glenlivet in one gulp. Holding the empty glass up, he gestured he was on his way for another and said to us he had to check his 'binder full of women'. That left me and my neighbour Ben. Oh, we knew we were stuck. Both of our minds were racing with an excuse to get away, but we were saved! Yes we were, my wife showed up and that made Ms. Sparkle-A-Plenty totter off to her next group of males.
But it didn't end there, no R. Linda, it was pool time! And our pesky blond person came . . . oh let me set this up for you just the way I saw it.
In the dazzling sunlight, wearing big mirror sunglasses, a huge floppy straw sun hat, tottering on 8" black high heels, dressed in a bronze sparkly wet-look bikini, sporting a huge bright yellow towel with a giant daisy on it, came Sparkle to poolside. Now the pool is heated so this was not too early in the season for Sparkle to be decked out in what she thought was 'come hither' attire. It was also her way of showing off for the "girlfriens" (yes, that is what she called the women at the party (SIGH)), that she had a good figure for having had two kiddos. Now this did not go over big with the pregnant wife, no, no it did not, NOR did it go over with any of the other women there. The ones that were over thirty were in one-piece swimsuits because (none of them) were competing with anyone else including the twenty-somethings in bikinis, nor were interested in roping in someone else's husband or the young single 20-something men. No, they were there for the man of honour that day, not to show off what they had, or didn't have.
Nope, only Sparkle was sparkling herself to a poolside chair, where she made quite the show of placing her towel so her rear end was to be admired by all, and as she made her poolside nest, the cleavage was flashed as well. Then she got herself into her chair and asked a hunky young male guest to slather her in suntan lotion, which he refused. YES, R. Linda, he REFUSED! Can you imagine a male refusing? Well, he did and he took off and was standing beside his girlfriend who looked smugly back at Sparkle who didn't (because of the sun in her eyes) see the look she was getting. Well, she did find one volunteer, Arnie Schmitt who we call Schmitty. He is a 40-something, with thick glasses covering a pasty and somewhat bad complexion, a bald guy, and an around nerd. And the good news is -- HE'S SINGLE!
Reluctantly, very reluctantly she allowed him to put lotion on her shoulders and then told him "Ok, AWKWARD, like that's enough ok!" And he moved off embarrassed by her loud remarks and actually left the party or as Sparkle called it par-tay because he thought she purposely did that. And she did! He wasn't good enough, let's face it. Married guys are so much safer. That's what Carol (a friend of ours) said.
Now Carol is a petite little thing with a figure that is better than Sparkle's and she's quite a bit younger. Carol is a 32-year-old TRAINER. Anyway what she lacks in height she gains in personality and she's just so darned CUTE! You know that phrase cute as a button? That's Carol. She's a brunette, no skunk stripes for her, and in a one-piece bathing suit, well a bikini-clad Sparkle couldn't hold a candle. So over to Sparkle goes Cutey Carol. She puts herself in the pool chair next to our wannabe siren and says, "You could have been nicer to Arnie. He thought he was helping."
"SHOCKER like, you know he's NOT my boyfriend OK?" Sparkle retorts in a loud whisper.
"No one here is are they?" Carol flipped back.
"Like what do you mean?"
"You said "boyfriend" you are referring to, for you, the guy that buys you nice jewellery."
Uh oh. I was standing not far so I heard all this and was thinking CAT FIGHT!
But Sparkle wasn't going to engage. She gets up and says, "BRB."
And not liking the computer lingo, Carol looks up at her and says, "Seriously? Save that for the teenagers on the other side of the pool."
That stopped Sparkle in her tottering heels.
"Like what did you say?" She tottered, her swaying shadow making the sun come and go across Carol's face.
"You heard me," Carol said returning Sparkle's stare.
"Like you don't have to get your whitey tighties in a twist, ok?"
"The proper word is UNDERWEAR." Carol corrected with a sneer.
"Panties," Sparkle said.
Carol shook her head and said to her, "How old are you? You hurry back now you hear?" And she laughed to herself as Sparkle tottered off.
I looked at Tonya and she looked at me, both of us had stuffed our mouths full of food to keep from saying anything at all or laughing out loud or as Sparkle would have put it, so we didn't LOL.
Tonya took herself over next to Carol's chair and said softly, "You know Carol, Sparkle won't call you her "girlfren'" anymore," and she giggled.
"Well, she's not black so she has no right to use that," Carol said smiling.
"Girlfren'," Tonya laughed, "high five!" And they did. I had a question and quietly asked Carol why she was sticking it to Sparkle.
"She came in and started immediately on my Freddie. She was hanging on him laughing at his silly jokes, and sometimes, no offence Gabe, but you guys just don't get it. Anyway, when she couldn't get his undivided attention, might be because I joined the group, and she went off to work her immature magic on you."
"You think?" Tonya smiled.
"Yeah, was strangely bizarre. She was talking like she's 16." I said, "Too many "oks, likes, ya knows, neato, cool dudes, etc."
"Let me tell you, I know if she had Tonya's ear she'd need protective headgear and professional supervision she didn't get her head handed to her. Like I said, the 'girlfriends' thing is just a bit much coming out of a white woman's mouth. And the Internet words, save them for the Internet! When uttered out loud they sound plainly STRANGE and STUPID! I realise we all are guilty now and then of reverting to a word our kids use much, BUT not like HER. I am not impressed and it doesn't make her seem younger than she is, so why? She comes off like a stupid dumb blond with a bad dye job!"
WOW. LOLOLOLOL!!!
"There are definitely words an AARP cardholder should not use. Like 'never, ever.'" Tonya joked.
"She said something to Freddie about "swag" and "salty" and "with it dudes," and I was like what on earth is she trying to communicate? You could tell everyone was clueless."
"She's just trying to be "in" the know as they used to say. But I agree." I said.
Well, Sparkle left her daisy towel, floppy straw sun hat, and suntan lotion and never came back as long as Carol was there. It did not stop her from going to the other side of the pool and putting on a show for the younger crowd that naturally congregated to their own age group. She was the life of the party. She was doing cannonballs in the pool, and she was sitting on guys' shoulders in the pool, she even got in on a water volleyball game that pitted the young women against the young men. One of the women even asked her since "you're the oldest maybe you should be the referee." And when Sparkle said she wasn't "that old," the youngun said, "Uhhh. . . " And then thinking quickly finished up with, "I just don't want to see you get hurt."
That didn't deter Sparkle, no instead it made her mad that her age was showing so she joined in and well, she was a wet drowned mess by the end of it. Not only that, but she was drunk as a skunk (with hair to match). A falling down drunk at that and what a spectacle she made of herself. But the sad is, she won't remember any of that. I tell ya, I don't know what it is, but maybe she can't deal with being older, or she's just lonely. I don't know, but when I think of the way she looks with the bright striped hair, the youngish clothing, and the slang terms, she comes up as the last person one would want to be caught in an elevator with OR on a deserted island.
I know many over 50 women who are intelligent, put together, refined and sociable without the false sparkle. They have an inner light that radiates warmth and goodness and not one uses words that hit you over the head like a sledgehammer, nor are they touchy-feely social misfits looking for anything in trousers. But like Tonya says, "There is always one, and you should feel sad for them because they just have not grown up and simply don't know how they come off." Well, I guess.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
14 comments:
LOL
personally, I hate text speak coming out of anyones mouth. Like you know what I mean dude?LMAO
KIDDING! I don't even like it when kids do it! I don't know anyone with inner light, so tell me who it is!
In honour of your story I put up my new pic. Stripey hair and over 50 LOL
50? Anyone over the age of 25 should have their mouths washed out with soap for sounding stupid. But look, aside from the woman's speech it sounds like she wants attention and doesn't care how she gets it. Sad that is. Also, as an authority on hair as it seems this blog has deemed myself, I will also say the "skunk" look as you apty refer to it, is ugly. As a man, I like the natural look of sunlight in a blonde's hair. But that's me. I'm sure the younger and "punker" among us think the "skunk chunks" look "wicked cool". It could have been worse, she could have put pink streaks in it. But on an older woman, no. The wet-look bikini, a real turn off unless she's a 20 something with a figure, then go for it. I also sympathise on "Arnie" that's a hell of a thing to do to anyone. She sounds like she needs therapy and AA. You do lead a strange life I must admit.
Oh no you aren't a "Sparkle" are you? LMAO
Uh oh, LOLOLOLOLOL
Thankfully no. :-)
the problem is you guy act like nothing is wrong when someone makes an ass out of themselves. instead of cluing her in you all run off and say nothing. she probably thinks her behavior is acceptable.
I like to think of mine as sun kissed highlights lol.
you, Lucky, need a new picture for us to appreciate the hair lol i don't like the zebra look either looks like a do it yourself kit used at home.
I LIKE hair! just not on MY head. LOL don't like striped hair. My new best friend is my hair clipper. buzzzzz! as for bikinis? eh
you know they're not for swimming, just for showing off the goodies.LOL
You've had the buzz cut since I met you. SIGH. Did you know they are making hobbit size bikini crocs now?
I hear ya. I don't like face lifts either.
HEY don't make fun of my Crocs! I love those things.LOL
as for the woman being clueless? yes she is, but anyone telling her ANYTHNG, she will take it as a jealous comment! LIKE you know you want me!LOL
and I'm not a hobbit!
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