30 April 2013
662
R. Linda:
This past week I was home with a wicked strep throat infection. I was put on antibiotics that made me horrifically ill over the few days I was on them. Besides being exhausted, and things catching up with yours truly, the meds seemed to give me the sleep relief I needed, but the nausea was not worth it in hindsight. I was in and out of sleep to escape the throat and general feeling bad. I awoke to find Mr. Kits hovering over me thinking of attacking the noise me stomach was making. This reminds me, maybe today I will be able to eat normally again, or maybe tomorrow. I started the 'other' antibiotic because the ones I was taking just destroyed me waking hours (what little I got out of them).
Oh yeah, back to El Gato. I fell back to sleep and I had a particularly lovely dream of being in this big house which is also a furniture showroom (don't ask because I don't know the why of it) and I have had dreams of this house many times and each time I'm being chased by someone or something, but I love being there despite it. The breaking-in is almost a game it seems, I never see "them" but I am busy evading "them." Well, last night I got outside the big house in my dream (this has only happened twice and it is brick on the outside and I OWN it). Anyway, there are usually fields of straw or wheat around the outside and I am usually tooling down the old road to get away but this time I went the other way and found meself in the most beautiful place. It was a village with white dogwoods and cherry trees in bloom and I was on a brick street that took me into this village where a few children were laughing as they ran home to their dinners as it was twilight. I walked to the end of the road where there was an inn and it was enclosed in blooming bridal bower with faery lights and it was just the prettiest place (except for me brick manse of course) and I wanted to stay there as I thought how much fun parties would be under the bower of lights when suddenly I was hit in the stomach with something heavy and of course, I woke up to find that damn cat had hooked his claws into my stomach and talk about getting up too quickly . . . well I did and he was still attached to me blanket, shirt and worst of all . . . me SKIN! I am now sporting red beads of dried blood where he attached himself. And you'd think it was all my damn fault because he was mad when I finally pulled him off. He pouted nearly all morning about that. He had the nerve to hide under the blanket growling at me. Gees, a man can't recover without someone or someTHING in this case, making recovery difficult and also spoiling a fantastic dream!
And of course, this attack and throat thing happens the week I'm supposed to be back at work catching up on my work AND speaking of having parties, there is the annual Cinco de Mayo bash coming up next weekend. Oi, I have so much to do! I know I sound like a girl, but I do have a lot on me plate! We were going to have our usual sit-down Mexican fiesta but this year there are a whole lot more people coming. Yes, the word is out! Do we have enough sombreros? Do we have enough moustaches for the ladies? Do we have enough food?!
Me wife has a new system she thinks. 'Think' is the operative word. What if, said she, we go buffet style, the tables (kitchen and dining room) are put together and oh yeah even that card table we don't use will come in handy, and we drag them out to the living room and pile them with the dinner and use the card table for the desserts.
Immediately, I was wondering how many desserts she was talking about. Because the only dessert ever served has been ME flan! How many of these dangerous caramelly puddings was I MAKING?
Then I realised if we shifted tables to the living room, I have to shift the living room furniture someplace else. Oi! Just more work for moi!
Add to this she informs me we need 20 more Margarita glasses. I was like WHAT? Those things cost NOW $12.00 a piece if not more, where I got the ones we DO have many moons ago for $4.00 a piece. SO REALLY TONYA?
I had to go to work to get away from all THAT. By the end of last week, I had forgotten all this Cinco de Mayo prep and was going about me days like the celebration didn't exist. But I was reminded of it by a colleague who asked me if I wanted a cherry red sombrero. Actually, it wasn't did I want the sombrero, the sombrero would arrive with the person offering it under it. Yup. This person is none other than me own Ms. Jaio. Sooo, what to do?
I know make ANOTHER flan, buy ANOTHER Margarita glass, and drag one more card table up from the basement! Oi, oi, oi! What was I to say? I know, no, but I didn't I said, SURE. Of course, I did, I was a pushover of the first calibre. But it doesn't end there, oh no, I should be so lucky. No, the next thing I overhear is, Ms. Jaio inviting the entire office to me house for a Tex-Mex dinner. That's a lotta Margarita glasses! And it's Mexican not Tex/Mex food.
I heard enthusiastic responses as I hid my long tall skinny self under me desk inside me cubicle that I had turned out the lights in. I heard, "Where is that party hound? A party? I love Tex/Mex," and "That dog, he never told me he was having a Mexican party. Sombrero you say? I think the wife and I still have the ones we bought from Disney World."
I was thinking I could hang Ms. Jaio out the 60th-floor window by her ankles for this. I was referred to as a "dog" a "hound" a "sneaky devil" and one hell of a good cook! I was listening as questions were being bandied about like, "Can I bring my wife and kids?" and I was waiting and yes, it came for some jerk to say, "I can't leave my dog, it be okay I bring him too?" Gees Almighty! Why not just get Grandma and Grandpa, the cat, any caged birds and gerbils you all have and bring them too! Oh, and don't forget your neighbours and their kids. OI!!!
I would NEVER EVER (to borrow Sparkle's vocabulary) EVER invite people to someone's house without first asking, WHICH I would never do BECAUSE it just is so impolite. But, maybe in China, if you have a party the whole city comes. I don't know how they do things over there but I be suspicious because Ms. Jaio was suddenly Ms. Popularity Central. And I was under that desk in the dark wondering if my passport was current.
"You dumb fecker Gabe," I said to meself, "Now you have to BUY more card tables and you'll be making flan until you are so burnt from hot caramel you're skin will be peeling off. And GABE, why don't you buy a big brick manse for real and have end-to-end card tables in the great dining hall and invite the entire country. Yeah do that and don't -- oh don't -- forget the freaking Margarita glasses!"
So this was last Friday and I was at work until 11 p.m. when it was safe to crawl out from under my desk and up the aisle on hands and knees so NO ONE left would see me, and then it was getting into the elevator and out of the building as fast as I could.
I had the weekend off to think about this disaster waiting to happen, AND a way to tell the wife she has at least 600 people with knives and forks, cats and dogs, and God knows who or what else, OH and not to forget sombreros, ready to attend HER Cinco de Mayo party. Yup. So you could say I have me a right fine dilemma and you'd be damn fired 100% right on that.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
Update: Actually a few people cancelled because they were pulled into work and they are pissed at our boss, Cruella. So that's a good thing for yours truly, one less flan for me to burn meself with. I had the usual 12 crazies coming and then suddenly Jaio invited a few people (actually more than a few) and I was like WHO DOES THAT? Unless she's bringing food then I wouldn't care, but IF she was WHICH she ISN'T, it would be Chinese food at a Mexican party and well . . . you see the problem. I had a total of 30 people which might as well be 600! But in passing I made mention to Cruella about me dilemma, and the next thing I know, almost all of them are working! LMAO Nice to have a friend in a high place.
R. Linda:
This past week I was home with a wicked strep throat infection. I was put on antibiotics that made me horrifically ill over the few days I was on them. Besides being exhausted, and things catching up with yours truly, the meds seemed to give me the sleep relief I needed, but the nausea was not worth it in hindsight. I was in and out of sleep to escape the throat and general feeling bad. I awoke to find Mr. Kits hovering over me thinking of attacking the noise me stomach was making. This reminds me, maybe today I will be able to eat normally again, or maybe tomorrow. I started the 'other' antibiotic because the ones I was taking just destroyed me waking hours (what little I got out of them).
Oh yeah, back to El Gato. I fell back to sleep and I had a particularly lovely dream of being in this big house which is also a furniture showroom (don't ask because I don't know the why of it) and I have had dreams of this house many times and each time I'm being chased by someone or something, but I love being there despite it. The breaking-in is almost a game it seems, I never see "them" but I am busy evading "them." Well, last night I got outside the big house in my dream (this has only happened twice and it is brick on the outside and I OWN it). Anyway, there are usually fields of straw or wheat around the outside and I am usually tooling down the old road to get away but this time I went the other way and found meself in the most beautiful place. It was a village with white dogwoods and cherry trees in bloom and I was on a brick street that took me into this village where a few children were laughing as they ran home to their dinners as it was twilight. I walked to the end of the road where there was an inn and it was enclosed in blooming bridal bower with faery lights and it was just the prettiest place (except for me brick manse of course) and I wanted to stay there as I thought how much fun parties would be under the bower of lights when suddenly I was hit in the stomach with something heavy and of course, I woke up to find that damn cat had hooked his claws into my stomach and talk about getting up too quickly . . . well I did and he was still attached to me blanket, shirt and worst of all . . . me SKIN! I am now sporting red beads of dried blood where he attached himself. And you'd think it was all my damn fault because he was mad when I finally pulled him off. He pouted nearly all morning about that. He had the nerve to hide under the blanket growling at me. Gees, a man can't recover without someone or someTHING in this case, making recovery difficult and also spoiling a fantastic dream!
And of course, this attack and throat thing happens the week I'm supposed to be back at work catching up on my work AND speaking of having parties, there is the annual Cinco de Mayo bash coming up next weekend. Oi, I have so much to do! I know I sound like a girl, but I do have a lot on me plate! We were going to have our usual sit-down Mexican fiesta but this year there are a whole lot more people coming. Yes, the word is out! Do we have enough sombreros? Do we have enough moustaches for the ladies? Do we have enough food?!
Me wife has a new system she thinks. 'Think' is the operative word. What if, said she, we go buffet style, the tables (kitchen and dining room) are put together and oh yeah even that card table we don't use will come in handy, and we drag them out to the living room and pile them with the dinner and use the card table for the desserts.
Immediately, I was wondering how many desserts she was talking about. Because the only dessert ever served has been ME flan! How many of these dangerous caramelly puddings was I MAKING?
Then I realised if we shifted tables to the living room, I have to shift the living room furniture someplace else. Oi! Just more work for moi!
Add to this she informs me we need 20 more Margarita glasses. I was like WHAT? Those things cost NOW $12.00 a piece if not more, where I got the ones we DO have many moons ago for $4.00 a piece. SO REALLY TONYA?
I had to go to work to get away from all THAT. By the end of last week, I had forgotten all this Cinco de Mayo prep and was going about me days like the celebration didn't exist. But I was reminded of it by a colleague who asked me if I wanted a cherry red sombrero. Actually, it wasn't did I want the sombrero, the sombrero would arrive with the person offering it under it. Yup. This person is none other than me own Ms. Jaio. Sooo, what to do?
I know make ANOTHER flan, buy ANOTHER Margarita glass, and drag one more card table up from the basement! Oi, oi, oi! What was I to say? I know, no, but I didn't I said, SURE. Of course, I did, I was a pushover of the first calibre. But it doesn't end there, oh no, I should be so lucky. No, the next thing I overhear is, Ms. Jaio inviting the entire office to me house for a Tex-Mex dinner. That's a lotta Margarita glasses! And it's Mexican not Tex/Mex food.
I heard enthusiastic responses as I hid my long tall skinny self under me desk inside me cubicle that I had turned out the lights in. I heard, "Where is that party hound? A party? I love Tex/Mex," and "That dog, he never told me he was having a Mexican party. Sombrero you say? I think the wife and I still have the ones we bought from Disney World."
I was thinking I could hang Ms. Jaio out the 60th-floor window by her ankles for this. I was referred to as a "dog" a "hound" a "sneaky devil" and one hell of a good cook! I was listening as questions were being bandied about like, "Can I bring my wife and kids?" and I was waiting and yes, it came for some jerk to say, "I can't leave my dog, it be okay I bring him too?" Gees Almighty! Why not just get Grandma and Grandpa, the cat, any caged birds and gerbils you all have and bring them too! Oh, and don't forget your neighbours and their kids. OI!!!
I would NEVER EVER (to borrow Sparkle's vocabulary) EVER invite people to someone's house without first asking, WHICH I would never do BECAUSE it just is so impolite. But, maybe in China, if you have a party the whole city comes. I don't know how they do things over there but I be suspicious because Ms. Jaio was suddenly Ms. Popularity Central. And I was under that desk in the dark wondering if my passport was current.
"You dumb fecker Gabe," I said to meself, "Now you have to BUY more card tables and you'll be making flan until you are so burnt from hot caramel you're skin will be peeling off. And GABE, why don't you buy a big brick manse for real and have end-to-end card tables in the great dining hall and invite the entire country. Yeah do that and don't -- oh don't -- forget the freaking Margarita glasses!"
So this was last Friday and I was at work until 11 p.m. when it was safe to crawl out from under my desk and up the aisle on hands and knees so NO ONE left would see me, and then it was getting into the elevator and out of the building as fast as I could.
I had the weekend off to think about this disaster waiting to happen, AND a way to tell the wife she has at least 600 people with knives and forks, cats and dogs, and God knows who or what else, OH and not to forget sombreros, ready to attend HER Cinco de Mayo party. Yup. So you could say I have me a right fine dilemma and you'd be damn fired 100% right on that.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
Update: Actually a few people cancelled because they were pulled into work and they are pissed at our boss, Cruella. So that's a good thing for yours truly, one less flan for me to burn meself with. I had the usual 12 crazies coming and then suddenly Jaio invited a few people (actually more than a few) and I was like WHO DOES THAT? Unless she's bringing food then I wouldn't care, but IF she was WHICH she ISN'T, it would be Chinese food at a Mexican party and well . . . you see the problem. I had a total of 30 people which might as well be 600! But in passing I made mention to Cruella about me dilemma, and the next thing I know, almost all of them are working! LMAO Nice to have a friend in a high place.
13 comments:
Do you have Marshalls or Home Goods up there? You'll find CHEAP marguerita glasses there. Two of my favourite shops ;-)
Up here in the wilderness, if I care to drive 50 miles there are both those discount establishments. BUT, discounted or no, ask me if I want to pay for 600 Margarita glasses. That would have been a better question, LOL.
Then have the kids decorate plastic cups in full cinco de mayo theme and bobs your uncle lol.
And Agnes is your Auntie, I have a better idea. How about I send them all down to your house . . . all 600 of them.
LOL Noooooo,wouldn't be able to swing a cat in here. Put more than 15 in my wee abode we are like a can of sardines LOL. Look on the bright side Gabe, there are always a few who don't show up LMAO
only 600? i have the man for the job my husband! he has catered events, well not for 600 and ... forget it he doesn't cook mexican food. i tried to help you though.
LMAO
go redneck! use the red solo cups! a margarita is a margarita! You're not having a sit down dinner, so buffet style you can use red cups and heavy duty paper plates! DON'T use good dishes for that many people! yeah right Dew, Gabe attracts people who weren't even invited!LMAO
You really should ask people to bring their favorite desserts or a dish, the way REAL Mexicans do it. called family style.
Oh yeah, I'm glad I wasn't in your nightmare chasing you with a sharp stick!
LOL
next time
Hold on there is a first time for everything.
Now there's a thought BUT 600 people inside me small abode? Parking alone would be a headache.
LMAO
That's good news! so it's back to sit down dinner?
I think so! I hope so!
LOL just as I thought ;-)
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