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19 July 2012
R. Linda:
First, I be glad to hear from you today. That means you survived the night and weren't eaten by a hungry monitor lizard. For anyone wondering why that is, yesterday I heard a monitor lizard was loose and looking to eat people. This made me think of me muse, who, being a short hobbit, best be on the lookout. So, I warned her in case Mr. Lizard came a-calling, and if he did, RUN!
We have been going back and forth over a 6-foot-long monitor lizard that has gone missing in Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA. For anyone who does not know about this particular lizard (which can grow as long as 9 feet), it was tethered in its owner's yard when it somehow slipped its mesh leash and decided to go for a neighbourhood stroll. Well, maybe it was boring being in the same backyard day after day, year after year, without a change of scenery, so off it took itself. The only problem with this would be that monitor lizards are not known for their recall, so finding their way back home is impossible. Therefore, the lizard would eventually work up quite the appetite. Yes, all that sightseeing will do that. The problem is that what it eats would be small dogs and cats, not to mention perhaps, and heaven forbid, a small child. So, an alert was put out to keep all things alive and small INSIDE, and if you happen to see the lizard touring the neighbourhood, please notify the authorities immediately. But by all means, do not go after it. Once cornered, they get a trifle upset, and they BITE.
I, therefore, asked your diminutive self to stay indoors to keep safe and not become lizard food. YOU, in turn, told me you tasted of bacon and salsa, and no lizard would like that. May I say to you, if hungry enough, you could taste like day-old mouldy bacon, and you'd be a treat. Oi!
But this isn't the first time something has gotten loose where it shouldn't. I was reminded of a certain bull that took a stroll around Enniskillen in Northern Ireland last year. I didn't mention it because it wasn't all that interesting at the time, but like the monitor lizard (now that I remembered it), I guess I should tell you the story.
Somewhere in Fermanagh, a trailer was stopped with a rather large bovine inside. It seems there was a traffic accident, and whether the trailer was involved was unclear, but it had to be. Because somehow the bovine, a bull I will call Archie, saw he could get out of said trailer and did. This newfound freedom and being in a place he had never been brought on a fit of sightseeing. Archie decided to stroll down to Enniskillen (probably heard it was quite a place) and take it in. Now, the police were attending to the accident, but they kept an eye on Archie until Arch gave them the slip and galloped off. Never fear, bystanders saw Archie but were too amused to approach and ask him what he was doing, but it was apparent he was touring the town. I suspect someone phoned this into the local constabulary to let them know Archie was about the place.
Well, Arch didn't keep to the street or pavement; he instead walked through gardens, yards, and flowerbeds, which leads me to believe he had an appreciation for things agricultural. Indeed, he wandered around one garden cottage in particular; he stopped by to see if anyone was home for tea, scones, and hay, I would surmise.
19 July 2012
R. Linda:
First, I be glad to hear from you today. That means you survived the night and weren't eaten by a hungry monitor lizard. For anyone wondering why that is, yesterday I heard a monitor lizard was loose and looking to eat people. This made me think of me muse, who, being a short hobbit, best be on the lookout. So, I warned her in case Mr. Lizard came a-calling, and if he did, RUN!
We have been going back and forth over a 6-foot-long monitor lizard that has gone missing in Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA. For anyone who does not know about this particular lizard (which can grow as long as 9 feet), it was tethered in its owner's yard when it somehow slipped its mesh leash and decided to go for a neighbourhood stroll. Well, maybe it was boring being in the same backyard day after day, year after year, without a change of scenery, so off it took itself. The only problem with this would be that monitor lizards are not known for their recall, so finding their way back home is impossible. Therefore, the lizard would eventually work up quite the appetite. Yes, all that sightseeing will do that. The problem is that what it eats would be small dogs and cats, not to mention perhaps, and heaven forbid, a small child. So, an alert was put out to keep all things alive and small INSIDE, and if you happen to see the lizard touring the neighbourhood, please notify the authorities immediately. But by all means, do not go after it. Once cornered, they get a trifle upset, and they BITE.
I, therefore, asked your diminutive self to stay indoors to keep safe and not become lizard food. YOU, in turn, told me you tasted of bacon and salsa, and no lizard would like that. May I say to you, if hungry enough, you could taste like day-old mouldy bacon, and you'd be a treat. Oi!
 |
| Not the missing Dino (yes, that is its name), but close enough |
Somewhere in Fermanagh, a trailer was stopped with a rather large bovine inside. It seems there was a traffic accident, and whether the trailer was involved was unclear, but it had to be. Because somehow the bovine, a bull I will call Archie, saw he could get out of said trailer and did. This newfound freedom and being in a place he had never been brought on a fit of sightseeing. Archie decided to stroll down to Enniskillen (probably heard it was quite a place) and take it in. Now, the police were attending to the accident, but they kept an eye on Archie until Arch gave them the slip and galloped off. Never fear, bystanders saw Archie but were too amused to approach and ask him what he was doing, but it was apparent he was touring the town. I suspect someone phoned this into the local constabulary to let them know Archie was about the place.
Well, Arch didn't keep to the street or pavement; he instead walked through gardens, yards, and flowerbeds, which leads me to believe he had an appreciation for things agricultural. Indeed, he wandered around one garden cottage in particular; he stopped by to see if anyone was home for tea, scones, and hay, I would surmise.
 |
| "Hullooo, anyone at home? (photo by John McVitty) |
When I saw this photo I thought, "Oh God, poor Archie, staring in at the inhabitants probably partaking of high tea and munching away on his relative's rump or ribs." Dread the thought! Poor bull. In actuality, Archie was really admiring himself in the reflection in the glass door. I have no idea how long he would have stood there, but the police did come, and they returned him to his owner unharmed.
But later, when I thought about it, I decided that if Archie was travelling in a trailer, he was probably on his way to market. And now someone in Enniskillen is probably having high tea and munching on Archie. ;(
Gabe
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5 comments:
You can't be good can you? That last bit, LOL
No, truly I cannot. ;-€
LMAO
I'm NOT that short! and anyway I'll find a saddle. LOL
That bull is HUGE!!!
AND YOU'RE CRAZY!
oh lol you are a terrible (but funny) man lmao
Uh mildly deranged I'd like to think
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