Boston Harbour Cruise - Whale Watch 2 - the return of GABE

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24 July 2012

R. Linda:

Yesterday was the day—yes, it was! I found meself on Long Wharf in line for WHALE WATCH 2, Gabe's return to spend a bloody dull day looking for whales that don't exist (see Whaless Watch—08/11/2011). But I was pleasantly surprised—FINALLY, not one whale showed up, but six! Here's one called Apostrophe. Why it's called that, I haven't a clue (unless it's that little black mark on the lower right of the tail).

Miss Apostrophe doing "the fluke"

Well, it all started well enough until I picked up Cruella, who asked me if I had the Dramamine. No, I didn't get any, I thought she had. So, we had to stop at the chemist to pick up a phial and the entire time, I was told I would be making us late for the ship. I stepped on it, passed the parking garage in me haste by mistake, and heard about THAT making us later. I dropped her off with the rain check tickets and told her to turn them in. I'd park the car and meet her at the gate.

This was all done, and when I got down almost to gate 4, where I was told the boat was, I saw her coming towards me, her face all dark and gloomy. I was like, what now?

"Gabriel, we must get on another boat because there is none at gate 4."

I looked and saw no boat at all, nothing, empty space. So, without giving me a chance to open me cake hole, she's off asking an official-looking person where the whale watch boat is. She's told GATE 4. It's coming. Yes, patience is something Cruella has none of when excited about something like whale watching. I sighed, and as we got to Gate 4, another official-looking person was set up for another bleeding photo. I was like, NO, NO, NO! But Cruella was shoving me into position, telling me to shut up and smile. Oi!

After she looked cheery and me like Mr. Grumpleman, we sat down and waited for the boat, a large catamaran.

"It's called the Salacia."

"Not the Salacious?"

"Really, Gabe? Are we going there, really? No, it's named after Neptune's wife and means sensational.

"Oh, I thought Neptune's wife was named that, and out of her name came salacious, for lustful and lecherous, but this be me talking."

She rolled her eyes as the Provincetown Fast Ferry came in, and its name was the Salacia. It looks the same as the whale-watch cats, so we were a little surprised. But on we boarded, me hoping we were getting a trip to Provincetown, her all set to go out in the middle of nowhere to watch for nothing.

Our ride pulled in

When we got there, there were as many people as last time, about twenty, and twenty of them were Girl Scouts.

"Stop it," Cruella whispered, "you're thinking cookies. I can see it."

And I was!

By the time we boarded, we had a full house. Most of them were up on the top deck. I found out later why. But I'll tell you now, the people on the upper decks use the people on the lower one to point out whale spouting like this:

That cloud on the water is a whale spouting

Spouting is easier to see from the bottom deck. So once one has the whale sighted by the few below, you point and shoot, getting better pictures from above than from jostling for position on the lower deck. But I didn't know that. I was on what else? The lower deck. But I am ahead of meself.

As we were pulling off, what did I see? The Weasil boat. Someday, I am going to ride that thing. I went out on deck to take a few shots, and I had me press badge around me neck, completely forgetting I was wearing it The folks on board Codzilla saw it, and they smiled for me. Sillies.

Look how popular THIS is! Gotta ride it at least ONCE

ROARRRRRR

As we pulled out, Codzilla was way ahead of us. It turned, and it looked like it was coming straight for us. The people inside it looked troubled, and then, it did this wave-jumping thing and veered in an arc! Oh my, I hope they were all wearing Depends and raincoats. The cappy caused that baby to do some mean manoeuvres and set off again. COOL.

Meanwhile, I watched the good time go zooming off as we started to gain speed. Suddenly, we were flying towards Stellwagen Bank. We sat inside eating Oreos and tortilla chips with Cokes. All we needed was alcohol, and I do think you can buy beer, but well, being with the boss . . . We chatted about nothing much, and the same spiel as last time came over the overhead speakers, informing us about the whales. But first, we had a public service announcement on where the life jackets were and what to do in case of emergency, etc.; the young lady across from me looked at me, amused. I guess because I looked bored. Her friend had left for the concession stand and as the disembodied voice was talking about safety, the girl looked at me and mimed the voice's instruction like an airline hostess. It was tough not to laugh or look at her as she pointed to the exits and then under the seat and mimed putting on a life vest. She, at one point, got up and mimed an oxygen mask coming from the ceiling where in a boat, there are none, then she looked at me like, "What masks, who cares?" and sat down just as Cruella turned around. Luckily for both of us, Cruella missed the antics. But it was funny, at least to me it was.

I must have looked the boy toy with his sugar mama to the young lady and she was trying to get me attention. Oi!

We got to Stellwagen, and the voice had been droning on about the different kinds of whales that were known to frequent the area and that the 10:00 boat had seen . . . had seen . . .

And we were all waiting and nothing was forthcoming over the intercom. WHAT had the 10:00 boat seen? Anything? People speculated, sharks, seals, dolphins? All we had seen thus far were the parrots of the sea (a Captain Jaackism), those crazy gulls. No harbour seal this time, notta thing. It had to be 15 minutes before the voice returned and told us the 10:00 watch had seen a mother and calf humpback. Oh goody, what were the chances at 1:00 we would see anything they saw at 10:00? We settled in, got some water this time and sat there sipping.

There was a sound that sounded like a dolphin. Even I looked around. How could a dolphin be inside the cabin? People scurried to the outside decks, and someone even said, "Dolphins!" but I heard the sound again just as Cruella was about to get up and go out. There was a handicapped group in the front of the boat aisle and one of them was making the sound. I had to smile; he had been given a Coke with a straw, and he was articulating his pleasure. It was sweet to see his face all lit up at the Coke-A-Cola and equally lovely to see all the super disappointed faces outside looking all about for dolphins. I tell ya. Oblivious!

Instructions came over to start looking for whale spouting (see picture above of such spouting) or green seas with lots of bubbles where the whales blow out bubbles to push the herring upwards toward the surface so they can eat them. Well, the entire inside emptied out as everyone ran out. We two are the experienced old salts, we knew better. You don't move UNTIL someone actually points at something rising out of the water. We waited, but we didn't have to wait long.

"We have whale breaching." Came over the speaker, "Whale at 11 o'clock."

It was then we got our arses up and outside. It wasn't too hard for Cruella to push her way to the centre bow, no indeed. She was shouting and waving at the front of the boat, "Marty, can you see anything? I've got the camera." She had me by the sleeve, pulling me after her. She shoved her way to the railing, pushing me in beside her. There was no Marty, but the guy on our left was amused; why? I dunno, but he didn't seem to mind. Cruella pushed her way in, and as she pushed him, he pushed the people on his left so they all moved two spots to their left as we took places directly in front. I tell ya, when it comes to whales, there be no stopping that woman. The people we rode herd through were too busy trying to see the whale to either notice or care. But there we were, like Jack and Rose, right smack in the centre with some guy we called Marty.

And sure enough, there was the spouting, and THIS came cruising by us.

                                                                                  

The whale Columbia, yes, they have tracking names!

                                                                                        

                                                                                        

"Awesome!" I think I said out loud and I started to snap away. Here are a few more:

Notice the light turquoise water, indicating the whale is just about to surface

                                                                                     

                                                                                    

The whale Apostrophe came sliding by like Nessie

And then sinking under

Columbia putting in another appearance

I noticed the people on the upper decks were looking down at us as spotters. I guess it was too hazy up there, and we being closer to the water, could see better. I also realised later that they get better photos up top than we do from the centre. They see more of the whale, something to know if you go on a watch.

The problem was the wee ones. There were a lot of white caps, and the kiddies were screaming, "There's a whale!" when there wasn't. It took a lot of people five non-sightings before they realised the children were operating on wishful thinking. Oi!

There were six whales around us, two the ship identified, the others they couldn't. It was rather an odd experience because you see the spouting, and within seconds, the whale begins to surface. We didn't see any breaching, only fluking of the tails as they dove under. It took five to forty-five minutes to see the whale's surface. We were in a section of the bank that was only 100 feet deep (in some places, it is 300), and the whales were feeding. I was told there would be more fluking than breaching. 

While we were waiting, the engines idled. It was a peculiar atmosphere and sound. Almost ominous in that all these people were holding their breath, no one speaking, waiting. Then, just as the whale would surface, the captain would get the cat in gear and off we'd go toward the whale. This irritated the hell out of me and the good-natured "Marty" on our left. We'd see the whale coming up, we got our cameras focused and just as we were ready to put our finger on the clicker, the boat would lurch forward. We'd get a snap of the water below us. I tell ya, that happened every time I had a wonderful picture set up. But as Cruella pointed out, if the whale was at 3:00, we didn't have to move; the ship would straighten the bow towards 3, and if it was at ten, the same thing. We'd go that way, so being in the centre we got more pictures than anyone on either side of us. Something to pass on to future whale watchers. If we had been up top centre, I'd have some phenomenal shots. As it was, I was pushed against the railing by those behind me who wanted to glimpse the whales and with the boat ploughing (and I mean ploughing at high speeds) in the direction of the whales, it was hard to stay steady, and oh yeah the wind, was incredibly working against a steady hold on the camera.

We were told they'd not get too close for the safety of the "animals" and I was thinking maybe more for the safety of the people on board. My pictures do them no size justice. They are huge. But two surfaced not far off the side of the boat, and I got some excellent shots.

We had six whales around us at once, so everyone had an opportunity to get pictures. I noticed people were just there to "see" rather than take photographs. I thought that odd, but what can I say? We spent an extra hour with the whales, and then it was time to go. We must have been very far out because it took a bit to return to the harbour. And we flew. Cruella and I stayed outside and held onto the railing for about thirty minutes of hair knotting and face-burning wind and sun. Yeah, fun, king of the world and all that. Finally, she had enough and we went and sat just under the windows on the lower outside deck. The meds we took started to really kick in (notorious for drowsiness), and we had a hard time staying awake. She fell asleep, and I was entertained by ten Girl Scouts who came out when the crowds went back inside to play on the deck. There were singsong games, with slapping and clapping hands, girls were climbing and hanging off the inner railings, there was running after each other and all kinds of silly girl stuff that be filled with ear-piercing shrieks and loud laughter, where grumpy me couldn't nap. Where is the leader, I wondered. It was crazy; they all had to be from 12 to 14, and the energy level was so high I wanted to jump up and shout at them to please stop; they were driving me to distraction and wanting to jump overboard, and probably I would have, but for the clunk of Cruella's head on my shoulder. Uh oh. This wasn't good. I tried to gently lift her head up and off, but I attracted the attention of four Girl Scouts who were leaning over the railing looking at us.

"She's going to wake up," one said loud enough to be heard over the blowing wind and engine noise, and any dead person in the vicinity would have heard her as well.

I tried to shush her because if Cruella awoke it would be not because of me trying to right her head, but because of the big-mouthed girl talking loudly at me. I took a finger and gently tried to move Cruella's head.

"NO, you can't do it that way; you have to use your palm," another loud helper yelled at me.

"Would you all please go away," I said.

"Oh, you don't want us to see you and your girlfriend make out," one laughed loudly.

"His girlfriend?" Another shouted, "I thought that was his MOTHER."

Oh, even better. I was getting mad. Why me? There were four other people sitting near us. Why couldn't they bother THEM? Meanwhile, the rest of them were making the 'yuck' sound. Oh my. I decided to ignore them and Cruella's head. It worked. They went to harass one of their own. But the young lady of miming intercoms came out with her friend, and when she saw us, she giggled and shook her head. I was embarrassed if the Girl Scouts thought, oh, never mind, you get the idea. I decided then and there, boss or no boss, I was getting Cruella's head off me shoulder, so I gently awakened her to tell her I was going inside for a soda, and asked if she wanted one. No, she yawned, put her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. I got up; yes, that was my escape from everyone outside. I went in and stayed there sipping me Coke until I saw Boston Harbour in sight. Then I went back. 

I sat back down next to Cruella, who was barely awake, and she mumbled something about wanting to avoid the crush. I noticed the three handicapped persons had been wheeled out to leave first. But that didn't stop everyone else from pushing up to get as close behind them as they could. I was wondering what the rush was. Where did they think they were going? Wouldn't it be better not to crowd the wheelchairs so no one in one gets shoved or, worse, hurt? I mean, there was no respect. None. Bunch of cattle. Finally, we docked. The wheelchairs went slowly first, but those impatient people were right behind, nearly on their heels. For the most part, everyone else was kind and mannerly. It was just that bunch at the front.

I did manage to steer Cruella, who was busy looking at images for sale, right up and onward toward the restaurant this time. 

I know I sound old and crabby. You try an entire afternoon on Dramamine, with lots of fresh salt air and warmth, Girl Scouts, and tell me you wouldn't be the same. Well, we made it to the Chart House just up from the dock for an early dinner and to look through our photos. This place is historic in that it was the offices of John Hancock, and the walls are all brick with beautifully polished brass chandeliers. Only they took us upstairs to the post and beam ceiling with brick walls that weren't as charming as downstairs and sat us next to a table full of people. I said to Cruella you'd think there are no other tables in this place. They have to seat us like this. I mean! And it got worse; our Russian waitress, a charming sort, asked if we'd like drinks. I said I'd like a Planters Punch and got a blank look.

"What is dis Plonters Puch?" I was asked somewhat cryptically (never a good sign).

"Rum, fruit juices, cherry, orange slice . . ."

"Ok, we can fix for you."

UH OH. Anytime something can be "fix for" me, I know I'm in trouble and I was. When it arrived, it was ORANGE, a light OJ orange. It had the cherry and the orange slice but also a lime slice. Yup. There was no grenadine, no, but there was just a hint of pineapple juice, and the rum was not coconut rum it was hardly there rum. It was an OJ pineapple non-alcoholic cocktail. I wanted to send it back.

"No, let's just order and get out." Cruella yawned. 

Normally, she'd have complained about the table and my non-alcoholic beverage, but she didn't much care. She'd seen whales! Yes, whales and that's all that mattered as she flipped through her photo images.  

I will say thank God for the strong coffee served with dessert (which was a chocolate lava cake you'd like). It was delicious actually, the whole dinner was, but for that drink. Cruella took a cab, and I went to the parking garage to pay the enormous bill for my motor and then had the added bonus of driving in rush hour traffic feeling like I was utterly wiped out. But I saw whales! And I never had to see them again. And that's a good thing for Gabe.

Gabe

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