27 June 2012
543
R. Linda:
There are times when certain subjects that we joke about seem to fall together in reality. Yes, they do. You know like cops = doughnuts, or blonds = light bulbs, you know that sort of thing. But not too long ago it came to my attention about the former. I had a laugh over it and found that the story was unfortunately true, and I thought, why keep this tidbit to meself and not share it with me muse? It was about something that amused me for a change.
So let's start with the place: Greece, yes, GREECE! Hardly the land of doughnuts! But Greece it be. That broken and broke country where if you have any enterprising idea how to make a euro, you go and do it by darn! Let me say even the mob needs to be fluid in a country where monetary gain does not exist. So here you go.
It seems on the Halkidiki Peninsula near Thessaloniki, on a beach named Paliouri (you are getting this right?) there lived two Bulgarian men and a Greek wrestling champion whose wrestling days were over. They all needed some fast cash, so they decided to open a doughnut-making enterprise down by the sea - - that salt air would work up a powerful hunger for doughnuts it will. You ask so what is wrong with that? Nothing R. Linda, nothing at all, I was thinking after a night of overindulging in the ouzo, the next morning's strong coffee with some sugary doughnuts would be just the thing to kill the taste. It is a sad day when the mob has to revert to making doughnuts to get by, I tell ya but . . .
Oh, I can see your face scowling at me like how far-fetched can Gabe get? But no, I swear this all be true!
Listen to this, there were not one, but two more doughnut-making concessions in the area, so competition was fierce! Stop laughing, I am serious. The Greek people like their doughnuts too. Come on now. Anyway, the other doughnut makers could not, by fair doughnut practices, get anyone to buy their doughnuts BECAUSE the Bulgarian/Greek enterprise was muscling the competition. Yes, they were. They'd employ the strong arm of their business (the Greek wrestler) to well . . . wrestle business to their place and away from the others. Can you see me there? There I be on me way with a hell of a hangover to get me a cup of joe and a few delicious confections when the Big Fella sees me going towards one of the competing doughnut shops and gets me in a headlock and drags me to his cohorts who are waiting to serve me with a sneer. I tell ya!
Well, this violent doughnut hole-ing of customers made the other vendors mad. So they went to the local constabulary and complained. But get this, the police must have laughed, they didn't seem to believe it, they never saw any of these strong-arm tactics (probably too busy munching to notice much of anything), so what to do R. Linda? I'll tell ya what they did, they went UNDERCOVER! Can you think of a better way to get doughnuts and be on a stakeout at the same time? Ingenious I tell ya. Is this a dream come true for a police officer? I ask ya.
The undercover officer decided to pose as a seller of doughnuts and I be sure that must have pained him to sell any since we know the propensity the police have for doughnuts, but he did it somehow. Naming his new business the ingenious Doughnuts With Holes, he got all set up. And sure enough, there were the Bulgarian two on his doorstep threatening blackmail and violence in the form of the Greek partner, a visual threat if ever there was one, (threatening to blow holes in the man's doughnut business), and well out came the shield, the spiel and handcuffs. Yuppers, as the Weasil would say, to the nick they went.
Can you imagine how popular the guy who takes care of the evidence room at the police station is? All those doughnuts boxed up and . . .
Anyway, seems there is a gross side to this story. The violent doughnut crime ring kept their wares in an old abandoned hotel (which brings images of rats and all kinds of crawly things) on the beach, WHERE the beach-goers who were politically correct about not going in the water, were too lazy to find the restrooms, SO they used the old hotel as a toilet they did! And in there were stored THE doughnuts! So in addition to the charge for extortion, criminal threatening, fraud and blackmail, we can tack on food safety violations. Yup, we can.
I've worked up an appetite I have, on my way to Dunks!
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
There are times when certain subjects that we joke about seem to fall together in reality. Yes, they do. You know like cops = doughnuts, or blonds = light bulbs, you know that sort of thing. But not too long ago it came to my attention about the former. I had a laugh over it and found that the story was unfortunately true, and I thought, why keep this tidbit to meself and not share it with me muse? It was about something that amused me for a change.
So let's start with the place: Greece, yes, GREECE! Hardly the land of doughnuts! But Greece it be. That broken and broke country where if you have any enterprising idea how to make a euro, you go and do it by darn! Let me say even the mob needs to be fluid in a country where monetary gain does not exist. So here you go.
It seems on the Halkidiki Peninsula near Thessaloniki, on a beach named Paliouri (you are getting this right?) there lived two Bulgarian men and a Greek wrestling champion whose wrestling days were over. They all needed some fast cash, so they decided to open a doughnut-making enterprise down by the sea - - that salt air would work up a powerful hunger for doughnuts it will. You ask so what is wrong with that? Nothing R. Linda, nothing at all, I was thinking after a night of overindulging in the ouzo, the next morning's strong coffee with some sugary doughnuts would be just the thing to kill the taste. It is a sad day when the mob has to revert to making doughnuts to get by, I tell ya but . . .
Oh, I can see your face scowling at me like how far-fetched can Gabe get? But no, I swear this all be true!
Listen to this, there were not one, but two more doughnut-making concessions in the area, so competition was fierce! Stop laughing, I am serious. The Greek people like their doughnuts too. Come on now. Anyway, the other doughnut makers could not, by fair doughnut practices, get anyone to buy their doughnuts BECAUSE the Bulgarian/Greek enterprise was muscling the competition. Yes, they were. They'd employ the strong arm of their business (the Greek wrestler) to well . . . wrestle business to their place and away from the others. Can you see me there? There I be on me way with a hell of a hangover to get me a cup of joe and a few delicious confections when the Big Fella sees me going towards one of the competing doughnut shops and gets me in a headlock and drags me to his cohorts who are waiting to serve me with a sneer. I tell ya!
Well, this violent doughnut hole-ing of customers made the other vendors mad. So they went to the local constabulary and complained. But get this, the police must have laughed, they didn't seem to believe it, they never saw any of these strong-arm tactics (probably too busy munching to notice much of anything), so what to do R. Linda? I'll tell ya what they did, they went UNDERCOVER! Can you think of a better way to get doughnuts and be on a stakeout at the same time? Ingenious I tell ya. Is this a dream come true for a police officer? I ask ya.
Can you imagine how popular the guy who takes care of the evidence room at the police station is? All those doughnuts boxed up and . . .
Anyway, seems there is a gross side to this story. The violent doughnut crime ring kept their wares in an old abandoned hotel (which brings images of rats and all kinds of crawly things) on the beach, WHERE the beach-goers who were politically correct about not going in the water, were too lazy to find the restrooms, SO they used the old hotel as a toilet they did! And in there were stored THE doughnuts! So in addition to the charge for extortion, criminal threatening, fraud and blackmail, we can tack on food safety violations. Yup, we can.
 |
| UM UM looks good to me. Someone said they are blueberry but I think mould be the flavour featured here, but still, if you are a doughnut junkie you'll eat them anyway |
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
8 comments:
Butt!LMAO How'd you know I was laughing?
Only YOU would do a story about donuts! I remember when I razzed you for the Krispy Krap addiction! You froze them! so now its Dunkin instead? sigh The only donut I'd eat would have to have CHOCOLATE on it. Lots of chocolate!
LOLOLOLOLOL
Because I know you. Gees. Alas, the Krispy Kremes are gone, a memory, a thing of the past. Ah yesss. Uh I think the chocolate donut thing can be arranged. I be sure there are PLENTY in that abandoned hotel that could be sent to your abode. ;-)~
HAHA NOT! I'm still waiting for the heat to end here to eat my fancy chocies!LOL no donuts !
You still have those? They must be frozen blocks of "white" chocolate by now. I'm surprised you didn't eat them melted or not, knowing how much of a chocoholic you be. Sheesh.
I would not be surprised if the evidence locker was empty when this came to trial.
Those are the most unappetising doughnuts I've ever seen.
that picture is gross! lol but I thought the story was fun
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