22 November, 2011

Whoo Hoo! Baby's got back!

21 November 2011
473

R. Linda:

Okay, here is a true story that grabbed my attention because this person, who the law was looking for and couldn't find until recently, seemed to me pretty easy to find. No one looks like this person, no one. No, strike that; there are at least a few other people who look like the perpetrator of the crime (I will tell you about that shortly). But those people, well, one of them has been to the police station to lodge a complaint. There are thought to be others out there, and how no one has noticed these people, I have no clue. They have to be blind or brain-dead or both.

So here's the story. Down in sunny Florida, U.S.A., in rockin' Miami, a woman dreamt of working in a nightclub. I know what you're thinking, but in Miami, this be considered a glamourous occupation. So, hold on. This woman looks in the mirror and decides she isn't curvy enough to get that job. In this case, it was the lower end of the body that was in question and well, what to do? Especially when you don't have a job that would give you the means to afford a top plastic surgeon. So you think, and you think when it dawns on you, a trip to South America might be the ticket! But you still need more for the airline ticket, the surgeon and the one-day stay. Yes, nip, tuck, out you go and hope for the best. So, sighing heavily, you consult Craig's List, and no, nothing there that's gonna do the trick, but then you hear about this person who does this booty surgery. "Ey ju wanna look like Jeneefur Lowpezz, I kin mak ju look like er," and "ju wanna bonce like beyonsay I kin do dat too." Well, there ya go, and it's a cheap deal. A big booty for half the price, "$700 it don't get no bettah den dat babee." Oi!

Just take a look at this surgeon, please:


Look like a plastic surgeon to you? Well, some people thought so.

Well, off our "in need of a bigger booty" dreamer of nightclub job went, and there was the "surgeon", but this person was looking not exactly all that feminine, but my God was the "surgeon" endowed with curvy charms! Yes, forget the beard growth on the face and that the middle name was RON; he/she had a chest Pam Anderson would covet. But the big thing, and I emphasise big, was the backside this person was sporting! It was immense. One look, and I would have run if it were me. I mean, I might want a little padding added to me trunk, but not that much! It was ridiculous, but our un-curvy gal thought, "Um um um um, honee, THAT is what I want." And for a very cheap price, enough to cover the cost of the mineral oil, flat tyre sealant, and cement, our gal was sporting a heinie the size of a draft horse.

UNTIL the pain became too much and the many injection sites, well, R. Linda, they all hurt like a hive of bees had set upon her large draft horse-size booty. So get this, she calls the "surgeon", and he/she says, "Oh, don't worry, you'll be fine. We just keep injecting you with the stuff, and it all works itself out." Our "victim" ended up in two South Florida hospitals with severe stomach pains and infected sores on her big bottom. To top it off -- flu-like symptoms! The kicker was she was too embarrassed to tell the doctors about her "surgery." Someone tell me how they didn't notice? Finally, her Mam had enough and took her to a west coast Florida hospital where doctors became "alarmed" and pumped (excuse the pun) her for information on, well . . . her rather large booty. I would think during the examination, they knew the booty wasn't all swelling, but that hardening cement . . . well, that would clue me in once it got hard.

The educated remark was, "No one in their right mind would ever do this." No, I can't think of a surgeon who would use that toxic combination and call it booty filler. But for the desperately unsuspecting, well, that's another story, actually THIS story!

The "surgeon" was found eventually. It is thought that there are more "victims" out there sporting cement arses and probably finding they can't sit down unless the cement has weighted them down, and they can't get up. Either way, it's a painful process, I should think. The "surgeon" was born a male but goes about as a woman and has done this surgery on him or herself, and well, I guess he/she didn't have the toxic reaction for some reason. Anyway, he/she has been charged with practising medicine without a license and causing serious bodily injury. I would think they could throw in impersonating a doctor as well.

And just to appease any curiosity on the "surgeon's" appearance, booty and all, I give you THIS:

 
Nuff said.

UPDATE 07/27/12: On March 17, 2012, one of Oneal Ron Morris's "clients" succumbed quite possibly (do ya think?) to the treatments administered by self-styled cosmetic surgeon Morris. Morris has been accused of murder and is facing a lot of jail time. The victim's autopsy suggests "massive systemic silicone migration through her body." Morris is awaiting further proceedings from jail.

Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved

7 comments:

mobit22 said...

OH MY GOD!

Probably sits higher in the chair!LMAO

Weaz said...

gives a whole new meanin ta da word WEDGIE

Irish Rogue said...

There is something about a gigantic concrete bum that is worrying and at the same time terrifying. For example: will the furniture hold up? Does Omar have a tent big enough? What will give first - the concrete bum or the door frame? Will the car shocks last? If she should sit on your lap will the jewels be smushed and thus rendered useless?

Capt Jaack said...

I was reading along and came to the first picture and thought...hum ok...then I read further when suddenly me eyes popped out of me head. I thought it was the rum. That last picture blinded me for life! One thing she can say that's true, she's built like a brick house! Savvy? How do you remove that stuff with a jackhammer? Hammer and chisel?

Maggie said...

I notice most all the comments are from men. What does that say about you all?

Gabriel O'Sullivan said...

Not much! LMAO

mobit22 said...

I, not being a man, don't happen to like big butts.LOL
concrete OR flesh.