06 October 2011
459
R. Linda:
Here I be fresh back from the annual teeth cleaning at me dentist (yes, the choppers are in great stead) and I thought to treat the sparkling whities to a new battery-operated toothbrush, I did. So I stopped at the Rite Aid place and found me an Oral B with three interchangeable brush heads (batteries included for a change) and home I went. Well, last night before bed I loaded up me new brush and started to brush. Now let me clarify something, when I be brushing me teeth I get interrupted by wee ones and so it takes me about ten minutes to get through. There I was, I had hit start and was doing a fine polishing job when Guido came in and said, "How comes yaz got a new toothy brush an ya dint buy me one?" I let the brush run at sink level while I explained (with a mouthful of toothpaste) because he had only JUST got a new one last week and we didn't buy toothbrushes every week. Back up to me mouth came the brush and I continued on brushing until he said, "Ok, but how come ya git a green toothy brush an mine is got pitchas of Sponge Bob on it?" So not turning me brush off I put it at sink level and said, "Because YOU like Sponge Bob and YOU picked it out, and I be not wanting a toothbrush with cartoons on it." I lifted me brush back to me teeth and continued UNTIL, the brush did a ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ and it turned off. I was not happy. Those were supposed to be new batteries. SO cursing to meself I went and emptied the batteries out and got new ones. Switched the thing back on and started again, and again I was interrupted this time by O'Hare, "Da, I wanna wear a kilt to school tomorra an Mam won't let me." Toothbrush down in the sink running, "O'Hare no one wears a kilt to school. And we aren't Scottish and this isn't Scotland." Toothbrush back in me mouth, as he says, "Orish wearz kilts I seen em. YOU wore a kilt when ya married Mam. I saw da pictures!" Toothbrush back in the sink running as I say, "Irish wear kilts to weddings and Irish rockers wear em' but we don't wear kilts to school." Toothbrush back and suddenly ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ and the brush goes dead.
I was hopping mad. I emptied the batteries and got another two from another package of batteries. This time Tonya comes in and she's got the two wee ones to bed, one mumbling his Da doesn't love him, won't buy him a new toothybrush and the other complaining he wants to wear a kilt to school but his mean old Da won't let him. YUP. So Tonya was taking off her makeup and talking at me and I be grunting answers because I wanted to get the tooth brushing out of the way when suddenly it happened again! ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ and off.
"Oi, oi, oi!" I said to me reflection in the mirror, actually to the toothbrush and she looked over and asked me what was the matter.
"Every time I be almost finished this stupid thing shuts off!"
"I'm not surprised, it has a two-minute timer. It gives you two minutes to brush those choppers there Gabe," she laughed AT me.
Who in their right mind would put a timer on a toothbrush? What for I want to know? Is it to make sure you brush a full two minutes? What happens if you are constantly interrupted like me OR, you have a pesky piece of chicken wedged in between your teeth and you have to spend some extra time getting it out? I be mystified why this was done to me toothbrush. And I was emptying batteries like they were tissues. Four perfectly good batteries in the trash bin with the coffee grounds and leftover meatloaf. Like I'm going to dig around in that for them. No. I will be buying meself another untimed toothbrush tomorrow. Just wanted to warn you that SOMEONE has sabotaged the toothbrushes!
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Here I be fresh back from the annual teeth cleaning at me dentist (yes, the choppers are in great stead) and I thought to treat the sparkling whities to a new battery-operated toothbrush, I did. So I stopped at the Rite Aid place and found me an Oral B with three interchangeable brush heads (batteries included for a change) and home I went. Well, last night before bed I loaded up me new brush and started to brush. Now let me clarify something, when I be brushing me teeth I get interrupted by wee ones and so it takes me about ten minutes to get through. There I was, I had hit start and was doing a fine polishing job when Guido came in and said, "How comes yaz got a new toothy brush an ya dint buy me one?" I let the brush run at sink level while I explained (with a mouthful of toothpaste) because he had only JUST got a new one last week and we didn't buy toothbrushes every week. Back up to me mouth came the brush and I continued on brushing until he said, "Ok, but how come ya git a green toothy brush an mine is got pitchas of Sponge Bob on it?" So not turning me brush off I put it at sink level and said, "Because YOU like Sponge Bob and YOU picked it out, and I be not wanting a toothbrush with cartoons on it." I lifted me brush back to me teeth and continued UNTIL, the brush did a ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ and it turned off. I was not happy. Those were supposed to be new batteries. SO cursing to meself I went and emptied the batteries out and got new ones. Switched the thing back on and started again, and again I was interrupted this time by O'Hare, "Da, I wanna wear a kilt to school tomorra an Mam won't let me." Toothbrush down in the sink running, "O'Hare no one wears a kilt to school. And we aren't Scottish and this isn't Scotland." Toothbrush back in me mouth, as he says, "Orish wearz kilts I seen em. YOU wore a kilt when ya married Mam. I saw da pictures!" Toothbrush back in the sink running as I say, "Irish wear kilts to weddings and Irish rockers wear em' but we don't wear kilts to school." Toothbrush back and suddenly ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ and the brush goes dead.
I was hopping mad. I emptied the batteries and got another two from another package of batteries. This time Tonya comes in and she's got the two wee ones to bed, one mumbling his Da doesn't love him, won't buy him a new toothybrush and the other complaining he wants to wear a kilt to school but his mean old Da won't let him. YUP. So Tonya was taking off her makeup and talking at me and I be grunting answers because I wanted to get the tooth brushing out of the way when suddenly it happened again! ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ and off.
"Oi, oi, oi!" I said to me reflection in the mirror, actually to the toothbrush and she looked over and asked me what was the matter.
"Every time I be almost finished this stupid thing shuts off!"
"I'm not surprised, it has a two-minute timer. It gives you two minutes to brush those choppers there Gabe," she laughed AT me.
Who in their right mind would put a timer on a toothbrush? What for I want to know? Is it to make sure you brush a full two minutes? What happens if you are constantly interrupted like me OR, you have a pesky piece of chicken wedged in between your teeth and you have to spend some extra time getting it out? I be mystified why this was done to me toothbrush. And I was emptying batteries like they were tissues. Four perfectly good batteries in the trash bin with the coffee grounds and leftover meatloaf. Like I'm going to dig around in that for them. No. I will be buying meself another untimed toothbrush tomorrow. Just wanted to warn you that SOMEONE has sabotaged the toothbrushes!
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
2 comments:
You do have the problems! LOL. And wearing a kilt to school? Did you explain that in the States that is like wearing a dress to school? And the jeers and consequences would not be pleasant? I have to hand it to your son, he is a model of innovation. If he persists you'll have to send him to school in Scotland.
I did explain that in between the timer winding down. SIGH. He saw Axel Rose doing a concert wearing a kilt and thought it looked way cool -- because it was Axel Rose. What can I say? ANYWAY, got me a toothbrush WITHOUT a timer. Put a new head on the other one and gave it to Guido. So everyone's happy except me Axel Rose wannabe.
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