18 May 2011
401
R. Linda:
Today I had a soft ( rainy) day off so I went to Tool Man Mecca: Home Depot. I needed to get bags of gravel so I could fill in the walkway which washed out recently. I thought it would be easier to get the bags today instead of fighting the crowds on Saturday. I needed to borrow me old neighbour's truck and he said he had the trailer he had attached that he used to bring home his fixed riding mower and that I could just as well throw the bags on that, saving my back.
So I had got the truck and started down the driveway, the trailer clanging behind me over each bump, when who should I meet walking up, but me drunk of a new neighbour Guay, who stopped me to ask me where I was going in the "old man's truck." I told him and before I could zoom on out, he had jumped in the passenger side to help me out. FOR JOI!
I drove on to the garden centre of Home Depot amid the smell of wafting alcohol and not-funny dirty jokes. As I was driving to the first red light, I heard a dog barking really loud, it almost sounded like it was in the cab with us, but no, it was me and the drunken man, no dog, just us. So as I pulled off the barking stopped. It seemed every red light we could hear the dog, but neither of us said anything.
We got the bags of gravel, loaded them and started for home. I got to a red light and as soon as I slowed down I heard the dog barking. There was a car behind me so I assumed it must be coming from there but I mentioned to Guay that the dog almost sounded like he was in the cab with us.
"Does, but I don't see no dog, hahaha," the drunk said like he could see anything.
So off I pulled and we got down the road to another red light and the same thing, dog barked until the light turned green, and the same car was behind me, but I couldn't really see in it because the truck cab was high. I got to the next light and the car behind me pulled off into Mcdonald's and I heard the dog, but there was no one near me.
I looked at me passenger and he with his red glassy eyes looked at me and said, "I KNOW I'm not hearing things, but where the hell is the dog?"
As I pulled off the barking stopped and we were driving along and there were no lights, there was no barking, so we forgot about it. I pulled up to a stop sign and suddenly there was the barking again.
We sat there looking at each other totally confused, then we both looked around, there was no one around us, no dog, just us.
"THIS be bizarre," says I.
"You can say that again Gabe."
I didn't but he said that I could say it again. I wanted to hit him.
"Where the hell be that dog?" I said looking all around.
"I hear it too," he said, looking under his seat the fool, making me question whether he really heard anything and it wasn't me imagination and he was playing up.
So I slowly proceeded toward home and the barking stopped. Well, each time I came to a full stop this phenomenon of a dog barking would start and when I'd step on the gas it would stop. I was flummoxed I was.
We pulled into the old neighbour's driveway and he was standing out by the garage. I slowed down and the drunk rolled down his window to ask him if he was enjoying the pouring rain, the prat. As I stopped the barking started again, and now I knew I wasn't crazy because me old neighbour heard it too.
"Hold on Gabe," said he. He walked to the back of the truck and lifted up the truck bed cover and then smiled. He let down the tailgate and grabbed hold of a white furry thing and told us to go on, he had Blanche his wife's Bichon Frise who must have been in the truck bed the whole time.
"She does that every so often, if I let her out and it's raining she seeks cover wherever she can find it and it's usually in my truck if the back is down. I had opened it to throw in the bungee cords I had holding the mower in place on the trailer and must have shut her in. Not the first time she's gone for an unscheduled ride or two," he laughed and waved to us as he went back inside dog under his arm.
Mystery solved. I swear I thought I was a crazy person hearing things. I was of the mind that Guay's alcohol breath was influencing me hearing. And since I couldn't rely on me passenger since he sees and hears delusional things as one would on prescription painkillers mixed with Red Bull and vodka, I was questioning meself. Oi. If I borrow the truck ever again, I'll make sure to check the bed before I have another barking episode AND make sure the passenger side door is locked!
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Today I had a soft ( rainy) day off so I went to Tool Man Mecca: Home Depot. I needed to get bags of gravel so I could fill in the walkway which washed out recently. I thought it would be easier to get the bags today instead of fighting the crowds on Saturday. I needed to borrow me old neighbour's truck and he said he had the trailer he had attached that he used to bring home his fixed riding mower and that I could just as well throw the bags on that, saving my back.
So I had got the truck and started down the driveway, the trailer clanging behind me over each bump, when who should I meet walking up, but me drunk of a new neighbour Guay, who stopped me to ask me where I was going in the "old man's truck." I told him and before I could zoom on out, he had jumped in the passenger side to help me out. FOR JOI!
I drove on to the garden centre of Home Depot amid the smell of wafting alcohol and not-funny dirty jokes. As I was driving to the first red light, I heard a dog barking really loud, it almost sounded like it was in the cab with us, but no, it was me and the drunken man, no dog, just us. So as I pulled off the barking stopped. It seemed every red light we could hear the dog, but neither of us said anything.
We got the bags of gravel, loaded them and started for home. I got to a red light and as soon as I slowed down I heard the dog barking. There was a car behind me so I assumed it must be coming from there but I mentioned to Guay that the dog almost sounded like he was in the cab with us.
"Does, but I don't see no dog, hahaha," the drunk said like he could see anything.
So off I pulled and we got down the road to another red light and the same thing, dog barked until the light turned green, and the same car was behind me, but I couldn't really see in it because the truck cab was high. I got to the next light and the car behind me pulled off into Mcdonald's and I heard the dog, but there was no one near me.
I looked at me passenger and he with his red glassy eyes looked at me and said, "I KNOW I'm not hearing things, but where the hell is the dog?"
As I pulled off the barking stopped and we were driving along and there were no lights, there was no barking, so we forgot about it. I pulled up to a stop sign and suddenly there was the barking again.
We sat there looking at each other totally confused, then we both looked around, there was no one around us, no dog, just us.
"THIS be bizarre," says I.
"You can say that again Gabe."
I didn't but he said that I could say it again. I wanted to hit him.
"Where the hell be that dog?" I said looking all around.
"I hear it too," he said, looking under his seat the fool, making me question whether he really heard anything and it wasn't me imagination and he was playing up.
So I slowly proceeded toward home and the barking stopped. Well, each time I came to a full stop this phenomenon of a dog barking would start and when I'd step on the gas it would stop. I was flummoxed I was.
We pulled into the old neighbour's driveway and he was standing out by the garage. I slowed down and the drunk rolled down his window to ask him if he was enjoying the pouring rain, the prat. As I stopped the barking started again, and now I knew I wasn't crazy because me old neighbour heard it too.
"Hold on Gabe," said he. He walked to the back of the truck and lifted up the truck bed cover and then smiled. He let down the tailgate and grabbed hold of a white furry thing and told us to go on, he had Blanche his wife's Bichon Frise who must have been in the truck bed the whole time.
"She does that every so often, if I let her out and it's raining she seeks cover wherever she can find it and it's usually in my truck if the back is down. I had opened it to throw in the bungee cords I had holding the mower in place on the trailer and must have shut her in. Not the first time she's gone for an unscheduled ride or two," he laughed and waved to us as he went back inside dog under his arm.
Mystery solved. I swear I thought I was a crazy person hearing things. I was of the mind that Guay's alcohol breath was influencing me hearing. And since I couldn't rely on me passenger since he sees and hears delusional things as one would on prescription painkillers mixed with Red Bull and vodka, I was questioning meself. Oi. If I borrow the truck ever again, I'll make sure to check the bed before I have another barking episode AND make sure the passenger side door is locked!
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
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