19 January, 2011

Things to know before one plans a trip to Ireland - sort of

19 January 2011
353


R. Linda:


Every Irish county has it's quirks and County Sligo is not to be outdone by the others. No, no, where can you be a minion of the law and find yourself outsmarted by a pub keeper I want to know? But before I get into THAT let me give you a short tour of the oddities that make up a few counties the green isle has to offer.


All over Ireland, there be gypsy caravans traveling about the whole of the place and if you think everyone uses motors, you would be mistaken, because the horse drawn caravan still exists and is sturdy enough to travel all the many narrow old roads that zigzag from the south to the north. And these caravans are unique in that they are top heavy arched things that come out from the wagon sides in such a way, you be sure they are going to tip. You don't want to be behind one on a narrow country road because it could be days before you could get around it. Some are even painted in bold colours they are, to add to the scenery. Me sainted Mam told me the reason for these horse drawn wagon monstrosities, was because everyone in County Mayo failed their driving test and so there you go!


And to be "shure to be shure" if you were to travel to County Meath you'd find yourself in the middle of a bog with a lighthouse! Yes, R. Linda in the middle of no place where no ship has ever been be what looks like a lighthouse. The old sayin' "as bright as a lighthouse in a bog," is probably where the sayin' comes from. There is a place called the Beacon and this lighted monument looks like the real thing you'd find on a rocky cliff somewhere to warn ships away, but no, it be a clever ploy of making tourist driving by think they've reached the sea. There be many a confused man or woman standing out on the road scratching heads wondering where the water went to.


If you were to visit Dublin on say a grand tour you get what the travel brochures call a one day layover, but to the locals it be a one day hangover. Oh the pubs, begorrah me, there are so many the idea of a pub crawl becomes just that -- a crawl on hands and knees from one to the other. You'll not remember being in Dublin ever. One night of pub visitin' and you'll swear you were never near the place because your mind will be done up and gone by the next day and your memory won't return (and when it does only in part) about two weeks later, and Dublin will be not in it.


And if you want a really fun time, Ulster County is the county for you! Yes, the term "recreational rioting" is in place, so pick up a brick and have a go. It makes no difference what side of the street you be on, there are bricks and heads on both sides, so go ahead . . .


Or, if you should get lost in County Galway, the natives like to have a wee bit o' fun. They name their cities with long unpronounceable names like Muckanaghederdauhaulia, now that's a mouthful. So when a person gets lost and has to ask for directions to say, Muckanaghederdauhaulia, well, it takes a week to get it out. By that time your billfold be empty and your tongue be permanently damaged from trying to pronounce unpronounceable names.


Break out your Samba shoes, the County of Roscommon is a very good place to visit if you are Brazilian! Once there you will want to stay, because you'll probably find your neighbours living there. The language is Portuguese it be, and 10% of Brazil has settled there. Ole!


Speaking of oddities and pubs, let's ponder a specific that happened recently. It came across me desk at work a quaint little story that happened in Maugheraboy, County Sligo (rainy west coast). Seems this town had a rather colourful ex-mayor one James "Jimmy" McGarry, who also be part owner of Mooney's Pub there. Well, as the story goes it seems our Jimmy got into it with Detective Cathal Duffy and called him a not so nice name. Which when I heard it, I thought it quite tame to what goes about as name callin' in Boston. Seems these two got into a bit of an argy bargy and according to Duffy, McGarry became somewhat out of control he did and forced Duffy to get the cuffs out to arrest McGarry for conduct not respectful to a police officer. That and being open beyond the time allowed.


Well seems McGarry took exception to such and since this happened within his own fine establishment, he ordered his very own "dotter" to lock the pub door. This as you may well surmise made it quite impossible for Duffy to escort his "prisoner" to the nick. McGarry asked Duffy why he wasn't sniffing into serious crimes, instead of wasting time arresting former mayors. 


Well to be "shure to be shure" police officer O'Griofa got into the act and McGarry called him a "prick" he did, and to add insult to injury McGarry pointed out O'Griofa's rather large beer belly, much to O'Griofa's annoyance. 


What started all this was that pub closing time be 11 p.m. but the police were alerted that it was almost 1 a.m. and the pub was still going strong. So in they came to a DJ still employing his trade and pints were being poured as if breakfast was being served, and maybe it was!


When the police arrested McGarry, his "dotter" Aideen who probably should have been the one arrested since it was her in charge of the pub, got a wee bit upset over seeing her "da" being the one cited. This brought McGarry's wife Louise into the game, as she tried to hold onto her husband's arm to keep him from being shuffled out the door. Oh what a scene it must have been! Imagine the yellin', the name callin', the tusslin', the fussin' at that locked door; makes me tired to think on it.


O'Griofa got his belly out of the way long enough to try to get the pub door open. He shouldered into it few times but finally Aideen opened it as I be sure she did not want to be installing a new door. Oh the cost! McGarry struggled not to go out the door and it seems he or maybe O'Griofa almost lost jacket and shirt in the scuffle. 


Now it be that McGarry insisted to the court he never used the colourful descriptive phrases he was accused of. He says he was upset that the police were interviewing his "dotter" and a niece in the snug. Hum, what could THAT have been about? A snug be a place where the women would drink separate from the men. It is, as it says a snug place where if a man and a woman wanted a private drink, well Bob's your uncle, that's the place to go. McGarry said they be in there an awfully long time and he was getting suspicious. So it seems the argy was over that and McGarry when asked why he had Aideen lock the door said it was because he did not want the argy to spill over out of doors where the noise would wake the neighbours. As if the music and such inside didn't do the same thing. All very innocent R. Linda. 


The Judge sided with the defendant saying he thought McGarry was not acting with "criminal intent" (he had his daughter and niece's reputations in mind) and that McGarry had no clue why he was being arrested (hum, was the man in his cups?) BUT McGarry was fined €200 for the selling of alcoholic beverages without a license. HUM.


So me point of all this be, if yer plannin' a trip to the old sod, just be aware of the oddities to be found there, and the excitement of the place will give ye lots to write home about. So stock up on post cards and postage, a book could come out of a long looked forward to trip, it could. Yup.


Gabe
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1 comment:

Fionnula said...

And you say the road maps are off too?