Story #354
R. Linda:
Yesterday, around 11 a.m., I had a break, I did. I decided to go to Starbucks and get a cup of coffee, but before I took off, I stopped and asked Mark if he wanted anything while I was out. He said he'd love a regular Dunks hot Turbo coffee. I thought to myself, what the heck, I can swing by there; it is only a block from the Starbucks place.
Off I took meself and went to Starbucks first. I thought, why not? I was out in snowy, rainy Boston, and I needed to warm up. I pulled up and got a cheery, "Welcome to Starbucks. How can I help you today?" I said I wanted a hot coffee venti, black. She returned and said, "We've got the new Trenta size. If you'd like to try one, it's a limited offer; we won't have them officially until May."
"What's a Trenta?" I ask.
"The new trenta is 30 ounces of coffee (she giggles), but is really 31 instead of the 24-ounce venti. AND, the good part is it is only 50 cents more."
WELL, FILL ME UP!
I didn't say that, I did say, "Shure, I'll try that!" enthusiastically.
"I can only give it to you iced, we don't have the hot cups."
"Iced it is," I said, not caring; coffee was coffee, iced or hot.
I pull to the window and pay her as she tells me that me coffee will be right up. I clear out me cupholder and as I turn to take me change, she hands me this bucket. Yes, R. Linda, it was a bucket of coffee. It was so big I couldn't fit it in me cupholder thingee. I had to put it on me lap as I drove. I was thinking I could bring me own bucket the next time for a refill and probably me old neighbour's cow for the cream. I could be driving around like that, enjoying me bucket of coffee, I could.
I pulled into Dunks and ordered Mark's Turbo. As I pull up, the girl slides the window open and starts to ask for me money when she spies me bucket of coffee.
"HOLY SHIT! What is that?" She says leaning out the window.
I heaved up me bucket from Starbucks, and she looked at it agape, her eyes bugging from her head, when she sighed a "Wowww."
I knew right then that she had the right job; she was a fellow coffee lover. I put me bucket of joe back down because holding it up was straining me forearm muscles; it was that heavy.
"Is that the new size?"
"Em, yes, it is."
"How much does that hold?" She asked me quite interested.
"I think 34 gallons," says I, laughing.
"Sheeeit! That much, huh?"
She gave me my change and handed me the Turbo. R. Linda, it paled by comparison. It looked like a mini-coffee, it did.
I drove back to the office and had a hell of a time getting up the stairs (the elevator was broken). I had to trudge six stories to me office, heaving me bucket of Starbucks. They really should put pail handles on the cups for easy carting. When Mark saw it, he was quite impressed, as was the whole office. They all wanted to go get a bucket of coffee, too.
It took me from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. to drink it all. I savoured every sip and if I had time, I would have stopped on me way home from work for another, but I was late, so I resisted the temptation.
I got all my work done, so I had nothing to do at home. I usually take work home to finish up, but this is the first time I seemed to fly through it. I helped Tonya with dinner, did the dishes, did six loads of laundry for her, and ironed me shirts, something I never do. I even gave both boyos a bath and put them to bed.
I can't understand why it is I am not sleepy after doing all that work. The kiddies went to bed around eight, and Tonya at 11:30 (after the news). I went too, but couldn't seem to sleep. So I got up and cleaned the kitchen and even mopped the floor. By 1:30, I had painted the bathroom downstairs and cleaned two closets. At 2:30, I put all me books in alphabetical order. Still not tired, around 3 a.m. I decided to go out and shovel me neighbour's driveway. I shovelled it twice. It be the size of a football field, but it's clear. At about 5:30, I thought I needed to get to bed, but I wasn't sleepy. So I read War and Peace and finished it by 7:30 a.m. I showered, made breakfast for everyone and then left for work.
On the way, I stopped at Starbucks for another bucket of coffee to get me through the day because I was finally starting to feel sleepy. It's 10:20 a.m., and I'm not sure how I'm functioning without any sleep. I don't feel sleepy at all AGAIN. I don't understand this. What am I doing wrong?
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Yesterday, around 11 a.m., I had a break, I did. I decided to go to Starbucks and get a cup of coffee, but before I took off, I stopped and asked Mark if he wanted anything while I was out. He said he'd love a regular Dunks hot Turbo coffee. I thought to myself, what the heck, I can swing by there; it is only a block from the Starbucks place.
Off I took meself and went to Starbucks first. I thought, why not? I was out in snowy, rainy Boston, and I needed to warm up. I pulled up and got a cheery, "Welcome to Starbucks. How can I help you today?" I said I wanted a hot coffee venti, black. She returned and said, "We've got the new Trenta size. If you'd like to try one, it's a limited offer; we won't have them officially until May."
"What's a Trenta?" I ask.
"The new trenta is 30 ounces of coffee (she giggles), but is really 31 instead of the 24-ounce venti. AND, the good part is it is only 50 cents more."
WELL, FILL ME UP!
I didn't say that, I did say, "Shure, I'll try that!" enthusiastically.
"I can only give it to you iced, we don't have the hot cups."
"Iced it is," I said, not caring; coffee was coffee, iced or hot.
I pull to the window and pay her as she tells me that me coffee will be right up. I clear out me cupholder and as I turn to take me change, she hands me this bucket. Yes, R. Linda, it was a bucket of coffee. It was so big I couldn't fit it in me cupholder thingee. I had to put it on me lap as I drove. I was thinking I could bring me own bucket the next time for a refill and probably me old neighbour's cow for the cream. I could be driving around like that, enjoying me bucket of coffee, I could.
I pulled into Dunks and ordered Mark's Turbo. As I pull up, the girl slides the window open and starts to ask for me money when she spies me bucket of coffee.
"HOLY SHIT! What is that?" She says leaning out the window.
I heaved up me bucket from Starbucks, and she looked at it agape, her eyes bugging from her head, when she sighed a "Wowww."
I knew right then that she had the right job; she was a fellow coffee lover. I put me bucket of joe back down because holding it up was straining me forearm muscles; it was that heavy.
"Is that the new size?"
"Em, yes, it is."
"How much does that hold?" She asked me quite interested.
"I think 34 gallons," says I, laughing.
"Sheeeit! That much, huh?"
She gave me my change and handed me the Turbo. R. Linda, it paled by comparison. It looked like a mini-coffee, it did.
I drove back to the office and had a hell of a time getting up the stairs (the elevator was broken). I had to trudge six stories to me office, heaving me bucket of Starbucks. They really should put pail handles on the cups for easy carting. When Mark saw it, he was quite impressed, as was the whole office. They all wanted to go get a bucket of coffee, too.
It took me from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. to drink it all. I savoured every sip and if I had time, I would have stopped on me way home from work for another, but I was late, so I resisted the temptation.
I got all my work done, so I had nothing to do at home. I usually take work home to finish up, but this is the first time I seemed to fly through it. I helped Tonya with dinner, did the dishes, did six loads of laundry for her, and ironed me shirts, something I never do. I even gave both boyos a bath and put them to bed.
I can't understand why it is I am not sleepy after doing all that work. The kiddies went to bed around eight, and Tonya at 11:30 (after the news). I went too, but couldn't seem to sleep. So I got up and cleaned the kitchen and even mopped the floor. By 1:30, I had painted the bathroom downstairs and cleaned two closets. At 2:30, I put all me books in alphabetical order. Still not tired, around 3 a.m. I decided to go out and shovel me neighbour's driveway. I shovelled it twice. It be the size of a football field, but it's clear. At about 5:30, I thought I needed to get to bed, but I wasn't sleepy. So I read War and Peace and finished it by 7:30 a.m. I showered, made breakfast for everyone and then left for work.
On the way, I stopped at Starbucks for another bucket of coffee to get me through the day because I was finally starting to feel sleepy. It's 10:20 a.m., and I'm not sure how I'm functioning without any sleep. I don't feel sleepy at all AGAIN. I don't understand this. What am I doing wrong?
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
Glug, glug, glug, drowning by coffee - ya think?
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