30 December, 2010

I knew I'd regret it

30 December 2010
345

R. Linda:

I made a deal with me donut eating side, I said, "Fatness, you will NOT, and I mean NOT, stop at Dunk's for coffee, you will go straight to Starbucks." But first thing in the morning, when I be about to get on the highway for the scenic ride into Boston (that's a joke by the by), the last thing I want be a caramel latte with sugar and foam and all that sickening sweetness stirring up the stomach acids in me tum for an ill drive into the city. I need the tough guy's cuppa. So inwardly struggling I made me way to Dunks. I know me of little resolve, I caved and I caved badly. I pulled up, got the usual greeting and I ordered a coffee, and because I had a case of the munchies (from not having any dessert the night before), I decided to get me a donut. I know, I know, I was really tempting fate I admit it.

"Ok, that will be one large coffee with cream only. Anything else?"

"Em . . . yes, give me a . . . jelly donut."

"We are all out can I get you something else?"

Of course they were. SIGH.

"Then give me a Boston creme."

"None of those either."

"Ah . . . how about . . . a . . . strawberry frosted donut?"

"Let me check," and then "sorry we are all out."

"What do you have?" Asked I exasperated.

"Too many to read off, why don't you come inside?"

"Because I don't have time to come inside. Just throw out a couple of flavours."

There was silence as he took a quick jaunt to the donuts and then he came back with, "We have . . . Bavarian creme, crullers, coffee rolls, chocolate donuts . . ."

I stopped him right there with, "Give me two chocolate covered donuts."

Silence. I assumed he was putting them in a bag but now, he comes back with, "We don't have any chocolate covered donuts."

"But . . . you said . . ."

"No, I said chocolate donuts."

Oi!

"OK give me two of those."

"Drive up."

I was muttering to me self, "come inside, like I have time to come inside," yes, I was whining. I was pissed that by the time I got my order I could have been inside keeping warm, eating a dozen of the confections and swigging coffee instead of sitting outside with the heat floating out the window, the cold air coming in while Bozo told me he had no donuts that I wanted. YIKES is me!

He took me Dunks reward card with a smirk. They always do that and I don't know why. It's prepaid so what's the problem? He hands it back with the receipt and then the coffee and then the donuts. I pull away sipping at me cuppa and it isn't until I get on the highway I slip me hand in the bag and instead of a chocolate donut, I pull out a plain bagel. I thought, as I was removing it from the bag, it was awfully hard for a donut and I was getting mad it was probably yesterdays stale stuff. But no it was a bagel. I looked inside the bag and there was another one! If I wasn't already on the highway I would have turned around and went back. How is it I never get anything I order? Now I had someone else's order and they were probably enjoying me chocie donuts!

I will share this belief of mine with you, but don't tell anyone. I think inside every Dunks is a picture of yours truly with the words, DO NOT SERVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS -- EVER! Yup, I be convinced of it.

Gabe
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