Story #320
R. Linda:
R. Linda:
After somehow surviving day one, we are onto day two. For joy!
We did the same as the day before for breakfast. Tonya liked a place in Milford, so we decided to go there. We hadn't been since it reopened under new ownership. The new outside looked spiffy, and the egg yolk and white decor inside was very nice. But, the menu was written, I believe, by O'Hare moonlighting as a gourmet of chocolate-covered bacon, fried cheese curds, and deep-fried pickles. Yes, that was on the menu. I be not joking. The waitress had an overbite when she spoke with her New Hampshire accent. Dragon asked about the difference between speciality coffee and house coffee, and the answer was, "d . ah . k" or something close to it. The answer was "dark," pronounced "doc" with the accent and without the overbite. We all stuck to the safe stuff, eggs with sausages and toast. Tonya had ordered one egg, one slice of toast and two sausages and got two eggs, four slices of toast and three sausages. When the orders came, everyone got everyone else's plate, so we had to pass the plates, but poor Ton had a He-Man's sized portion, poor lovely, and was subject to her mother's "Waste not, want not."
After breakfast, Tonya thought it would be nice to go to America's Stonehenge, formally known as Mystery Hill, in Salem, New Hampshire, to walk off her huge breakfast. A brief description of this attraction: It is a 4000-year-old maze of ancient stone chambers, a sacrificial stone, drainage carved into stone floors, an oracle chamber, and oddities all made by some ancient people, that was, and still is, used as a calendar much like the astronomical set up of Stonehenge in England, only this site is more like what you'd find at the Mayan sites in South America. It is still used to determine the solar and lunar solstices each year.
None of us had ever been to this place, so we were psyched to be doing something different. At least Tonya and I were. Well, it is not Stonehenge. When you drive up, you do not see the standing stones you would see on Salisbury Plain from miles away; you see nothing but a long driveway that inclines up a bit. A lodge-like building is a gift shop where you purchase tickets and then go through the backdoor to the woods. Not far from this are a few outbuildings that contain alpacas.
One of the subjects of Mam and Dragon's discussion
Dragon walked up to one of these charming leave-strewn animals and announced she had a sweater made of one of them. Yup. Mam had never seen an alpaca, so this was all new to her, and this announcement of yarn use had her questioning Dragon about lambswool versus alpaca wool. This made Dragon feel very important, especially since me sainted Mam hadn't bought the idea of certain pumpkins for specific uses, and we won't even go into the many kinds of apples. So, leaving them to discuss the merits of lamb vs alpaca, Ton, Da, and meself started up the trail as the two nitpickers followed. It should be said that Mam has two bad knees, and Dragon has one. I had no idea the trail was mostly uphill, with exposed roots and rocks, and to make it interesting, under the leaves that covered most of this were tons of acorns, so when you stubbed a toe into a tree root, and hurt your instep over a rock, you also got the thrill of rolling forward and falling on your arse because of all the hidden acorns. We each, in turn, took a spill, some more than once.
The "trail" see those rocks? YUP, they were under those leaves, and it got worse as you walked
"They should have a sign like at Disney World, TRAIL CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOU HEALTH - IF YOU HAVE BAD KNEES DO NOT PROCEED." This was announced by the Dragon, who was steadying herself by hanging on to Da on one side while he tried desperately to keep Mam upright on the other, along with himself. Just the two of us up front, with no problems, were having a time of it.
"What about the wheelchair-bound?" Me thoughtful Mam wondered aloud.
I was having a difficult time as it was to give that any thought.
"By the time we reach the top, we'll all be in wheelchairs," Da laughed, "it be a bumpy ride down."
Oh, ha ha ha. Funny man, and he's me Da, to boot. Lucky me to have such a craic artist in me own family. SIGH.
We reached a lettered or numbered square of wood (can't remember which), but I couldn't tell you what we were looking at for the leaves. Everything was covered in them, so we lurched ever upward and onward. We got to the next small wooden square, and I couldn't tell you what that was either; it looked like a bit of grooved rock, but to be honest, there were a lot of grooved rocks in the trail. Why was the one behind the chain any different? I have no clue. We could see stone chambers, what can only be described as manmade caves. One was braced with wood like you'd stack outside for the winter fireplace. There were so many of these chambers we didn't care what the brochure said; they were all too alike to care, and we were too focused on keeping our footing. Our feet hurt so badly that we just wanted to reach the top and then go home.
After a while, it all looked the same. I thought I could borrow me old neighbour's tractor and build me own American Stonehenge in the woods behind me house.
Once at the top, you could see clearings where standing stones marked the directions. These were little stones, not the megaliths of England or Ireland. It was then that me father discovered his socks were missing. We sat on the hard, uncomfortable wooden benches to rest our feet while he searched for them. He had no clue where they had gotten to.
"I know I put them on when I got up," said he, as he proceeded to pull his shoes off, and yes, there they were up around the ball of his foot in hiding. Well, at least we knew what happened to the disappearing socks. Mam, always quick thinking and carrying her purse full of home remedies, told him to pull them back up. She reached into her huge bag and pulled out two elastic bands. These she put over his feet and around the sock tops. I was trying hard not to laugh and needn't have worried because Dragon did laugh out loud. But Da had his revenge on her after sitting a short while. Mam asked no one in particular, "How old is this place, and who built it?" Da piped up with, "Built in prehistoric times, I think. Ask Mrs. A here. She'll remember."
OH OH. The Dragon's head turned slowly in his direction, and her eyes were yellow slits in her head. Thank Tonya for changing the subject quickly and asking Mam if she'd ever been to Stonehenge in England.
"Why aye, I have," said she.
"I understand it is cordoned off. You can't get up next to it?" Tonya stated more than asked.
"Not when I was there," said Mam, "there was a bit of rope around the stones, and it would be a man's arm's length to reach them, but I have a bit of stone from there."
Me father nodded his head in Mam's direction and said, "She's the reason those stones are cordoned off now, because of people like Mam here stealing the chips."
Dragon got her jollies on that remark, and being Dragon, she asked Mam if she was one of those people who collected stones from sites like that. And the answer was YES, SHE WAS. Oi! She had a bit from the Rollright Stones, too! That is another stone circle in England that me Mam visited on her geological quest for strange stones from strange places for a strange little woman. Who does that? Oi, me Mam does that. I be so embarrassed and more embarrassed she'd admit to it.
On the way back down to the "lodge," Mam found a rather unique stone and put it in her pocket. She had her souvenir, and Da told her she could not keep it. There was an alarm at the door that would go off, and she'd be caught stealing the stone. At first, she hesitated, then she decided he was telling her a story just to be irritating because that was what he always did.
We browsed the gift shop, there was nothing really to buy, even for the boyos, so we started out the door when . . . THE BLEEDING ALARM WENT OFF! I had to laugh at the look on Mammy's face. She was shocked, and then Da started laughing. The alarm sounded when anyone came in or out of the shop; there was no stone detector, but he had her going, and I couldn't take it anymore and told her he was pulling her leg.
I told Da, "Mam's the best thing that ever happened to you, so be nice."
She turned to me and said, "Ah me Gabriel, I love ya, son," then she turned to me Da and said, "YOU not so mooch."
We ended the day at a Mexican restaurant where we all ordered Mexican except Da, who ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese. WHO DOES THAT? Again, you know the answer, and I was red-faced he'd even order that way. Ended me day with me shaking me head at them. Oi! See below for a few more rock pictures.
Gabe
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You take great pictures!
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