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R. Linda:
Looks like we had visitors and you cleaned up the place again. I like that you waxed the floor in here, I can see meself in the gleam. I do wonder who reads this blog, I know the sort of characters of me followers, but 1000 blog viewings is rather remarkable unless it's you in here cleaning and looking for me chocie stash. I have to marvel at the fact that other people read me carrying ons.
Can I take an aside here to discuss for a moment (before the thought of chocolate carries me off) something that has happened to yours truly too often of late to ignore? Not to dwell on food too much, but I went to KFC the other night. I had a yen for the boneless wings so I pulled up and ordered twenty wings and the voice told me they didn't have but ten. Ten? Well, all right give me the ten and then give me three pieces of crispy chicken, I said. Could they give me three pieces of original, they were out of crispy. Well, ok then give me that I say. Then there is silence and the voice comes back and says, can we give you an extra thigh because we are all out of breasts. WHAT? WHAT? Is this a chicken place or not? Is there a scarcity of chickens in New Hampshire? This is not the first time this has happened to me. It's happened three other times. I never go there and get a full order of what I want. The last time I was there I ordered the mashed potatoes and gravy and when I got home I had baked beans. I shook me head in wonder. Maybe it was me accent? So now when I go, I speak very distinctly and slowly so they understand and get me a full order. That has picked up, but now the chicken place (which is open 24 hours a day) seems to be out of chicken, and crispy chicken at that.
Anyway, I got home, the wings were dried out and if I didn't live so far away, I would have driven them back. They were so dry they weren't edible. WHO DOES THAT?
So here it is, yesterday we had gone to the DIY store and Tonya wanted to try that new chicken sandwich without the bun, so I pull in and I had her lean over me to the speaker in case it was really me accent that wasn't getting the order straight. She orders up the sanny and I ordered tenders and was told they were all out. Of course they were. I made a remark to Tonya that we'd get her sanny then we were going to Pizza Hut's Wing Street for wings since this place sucked. THAT THEY HEARD.
"Really sir, if you have a problem you should talk to our manager, we do the best we can, we are a busy franchise and we do run out of chicken every so often, and our chicken is flavoured with the Colonel's own secret recipe compared to Pizza Hut, WHO I might add, is adept at making PIZZA not CHICKEN WINGS. Sir."
WELL! I guess I was told, and told also to pull up to the window. I pulled up and cowered in me seat as I exchanged me money for a chicken sanny. As we pulled off without a word, Tonya bit into it. Let me say right here, I made the loop and pulled back in line. I took the sanny from her as she choked on the dry chicken, greasy cheese and what looked like bacon, but I wasn't sure what that stuff was.
I get to the intercom, "May I take your order?"
"No, I be returning a chicken sandwich without the bun that we just ordered. It is old chicken, dried and the cheese is melted in a glob with something in that smells like bacon, but looks like flaked night crawlers."
"SIR!"
"I'm pulling up now." And I zoomed up to the take out window and shove the sandwich up to the window. The employee took it with two fingers like there really were worms in it. She looks at it, let's it drop into a waste bin and asks if we'd like a new one, no we say. She flicks open the cash register, says sorry and hands over the money.
"Thank you," Says I, "NOW if it is all right with you, we are headed for Pizza Hut for some chicken." And off I pulled and I can see her head sticking out the drive thru looking after me with a sour expression on her face. I mean really! Why am I putting up with this? I have found out that the chicken places up here serve good slaw and potatoes, the pizza places have the best chicken wings and the burger places have the best fries and little else. Ugh! And just a note, that sanny was so salty the wife was choking on what she did ingest all the way to Pizza Hut. And Pizza Hut has the hottest wings you've ever eaten. They are yummy going down, but the next day the fire is still there, from you're throat to your belly. Not so yum.
One more, Dunkin Donuts. YUP, me fav place in the whole wide world. It never fails, when I pull up or when anyone I'm with pulls up (I want you to know this is not an exclusive event to yours truly), I order and they repeat me order back but it is never me order it is someone else's. Like the other day I ordered a mocha hot coffee, medium, cream only. The girl says, "Anything else?" I said, "No," then she said, "Ok that's a hot medium cappaccino with two Splendas and no cream, that's $2.50 pull up."
"No, no," I say, "I want a hot mocha coffee, cream only."
"Sorry, a hot mocha coffee, cream only and two Splendas. Pull up."
"Uh no, no Splendas, just cream only."
"Sorry, a large hot mocha coffee, cream only no splenda."
"No, a MEDIUM hot mocha coffee, cream only."
"Drive up."
Oh God what was I getting she wasn't repeating anything back to me. I get up there and she hands me a medium cup of hot something. I pay, pull off, flip the lid and take a sip of heavily sugared mocha coffee. I pull back around and up to the window.
"This has sugar in it." I hand it back.
"There is no sugar in it sir, it's the mocha syrup you are tasting."
"I tell you it is sugared up." But I see this is going nowhere. I stare at the coffee than at her. She shrugs and dumps the coffee and starts making a new one. I watch her and this time it seems right. I pulled off, but not too far, took a sip and perfection! But this happens to me all the freaking time. I don't know if it's their intercom or what. The only other negative is when I order the wife a latte, it seems they can't make one because they are forever cleaning the machine. One day I pulled in on a Saturday morning, I was told this, takes about an hour. Ok. I returned after lunch and guess what? They were STILL cleaning the machine. It looked more like people who didn't feel like making lattes. Two days later, I pull in again, and you guessed it. I said, how is that possible, I was in here two days ago and it was being cleaned. Oh we clean the machine a lot. I betcha.
The only time I found an intercom system that worked was at a Jack In The Box. I pulled in and listened to a conversation that was really none of me business between two girlies talking about their love lives. I knew me motor was on the camera inside, they had to see me, and I kept clearing me throat and saying, "Hello?" but they were giggling and laughing and I started to wonder if this was being done purposely to shock me. Finally I said, "Top of the day ta ye, do you think you can take a few minutes out of your busy and lust filled lives to get me an order please?"
There was silence, then muffled laughter and giggles. "What can I get you?" I wanted to say a Martini and a cigarette but decided against it. Anyway, as usual I got home and found I was missing the fries. I am always missing something from the burger places, doesn't matter if it's Jack In The Box, Burger King, or McDonald's. I know now to check before I pull off. It's got to the point I don't use the drive thru anymore, I go inside so I can see them put the full order in the bag. I know, woe is me.
I don't know what it is with fast food places. I seriously think their intercoms are faulty because can so many employees of these places be hearing impaired? Simple menus turn out to be nightmare cuisine. Sigh.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Looks like we had visitors and you cleaned up the place again. I like that you waxed the floor in here, I can see meself in the gleam. I do wonder who reads this blog, I know the sort of characters of me followers, but 1000 blog viewings is rather remarkable unless it's you in here cleaning and looking for me chocie stash. I have to marvel at the fact that other people read me carrying ons.
Can I take an aside here to discuss for a moment (before the thought of chocolate carries me off) something that has happened to yours truly too often of late to ignore? Not to dwell on food too much, but I went to KFC the other night. I had a yen for the boneless wings so I pulled up and ordered twenty wings and the voice told me they didn't have but ten. Ten? Well, all right give me the ten and then give me three pieces of crispy chicken, I said. Could they give me three pieces of original, they were out of crispy. Well, ok then give me that I say. Then there is silence and the voice comes back and says, can we give you an extra thigh because we are all out of breasts. WHAT? WHAT? Is this a chicken place or not? Is there a scarcity of chickens in New Hampshire? This is not the first time this has happened to me. It's happened three other times. I never go there and get a full order of what I want. The last time I was there I ordered the mashed potatoes and gravy and when I got home I had baked beans. I shook me head in wonder. Maybe it was me accent? So now when I go, I speak very distinctly and slowly so they understand and get me a full order. That has picked up, but now the chicken place (which is open 24 hours a day) seems to be out of chicken, and crispy chicken at that.
Anyway, I got home, the wings were dried out and if I didn't live so far away, I would have driven them back. They were so dry they weren't edible. WHO DOES THAT?
So here it is, yesterday we had gone to the DIY store and Tonya wanted to try that new chicken sandwich without the bun, so I pull in and I had her lean over me to the speaker in case it was really me accent that wasn't getting the order straight. She orders up the sanny and I ordered tenders and was told they were all out. Of course they were. I made a remark to Tonya that we'd get her sanny then we were going to Pizza Hut's Wing Street for wings since this place sucked. THAT THEY HEARD.
"Really sir, if you have a problem you should talk to our manager, we do the best we can, we are a busy franchise and we do run out of chicken every so often, and our chicken is flavoured with the Colonel's own secret recipe compared to Pizza Hut, WHO I might add, is adept at making PIZZA not CHICKEN WINGS. Sir."
WELL! I guess I was told, and told also to pull up to the window. I pulled up and cowered in me seat as I exchanged me money for a chicken sanny. As we pulled off without a word, Tonya bit into it. Let me say right here, I made the loop and pulled back in line. I took the sanny from her as she choked on the dry chicken, greasy cheese and what looked like bacon, but I wasn't sure what that stuff was.
I get to the intercom, "May I take your order?"
"No, I be returning a chicken sandwich without the bun that we just ordered. It is old chicken, dried and the cheese is melted in a glob with something in that smells like bacon, but looks like flaked night crawlers."
"SIR!"
"I'm pulling up now." And I zoomed up to the take out window and shove the sandwich up to the window. The employee took it with two fingers like there really were worms in it. She looks at it, let's it drop into a waste bin and asks if we'd like a new one, no we say. She flicks open the cash register, says sorry and hands over the money.
"Thank you," Says I, "NOW if it is all right with you, we are headed for Pizza Hut for some chicken." And off I pulled and I can see her head sticking out the drive thru looking after me with a sour expression on her face. I mean really! Why am I putting up with this? I have found out that the chicken places up here serve good slaw and potatoes, the pizza places have the best chicken wings and the burger places have the best fries and little else. Ugh! And just a note, that sanny was so salty the wife was choking on what she did ingest all the way to Pizza Hut. And Pizza Hut has the hottest wings you've ever eaten. They are yummy going down, but the next day the fire is still there, from you're throat to your belly. Not so yum.
One more, Dunkin Donuts. YUP, me fav place in the whole wide world. It never fails, when I pull up or when anyone I'm with pulls up (I want you to know this is not an exclusive event to yours truly), I order and they repeat me order back but it is never me order it is someone else's. Like the other day I ordered a mocha hot coffee, medium, cream only. The girl says, "Anything else?" I said, "No," then she said, "Ok that's a hot medium cappaccino with two Splendas and no cream, that's $2.50 pull up."
"No, no," I say, "I want a hot mocha coffee, cream only."
"Sorry, a hot mocha coffee, cream only and two Splendas. Pull up."
"Uh no, no Splendas, just cream only."
"Sorry, a large hot mocha coffee, cream only no splenda."
"No, a MEDIUM hot mocha coffee, cream only."
"Drive up."
Oh God what was I getting she wasn't repeating anything back to me. I get up there and she hands me a medium cup of hot something. I pay, pull off, flip the lid and take a sip of heavily sugared mocha coffee. I pull back around and up to the window.
"This has sugar in it." I hand it back.
"There is no sugar in it sir, it's the mocha syrup you are tasting."
"I tell you it is sugared up." But I see this is going nowhere. I stare at the coffee than at her. She shrugs and dumps the coffee and starts making a new one. I watch her and this time it seems right. I pulled off, but not too far, took a sip and perfection! But this happens to me all the freaking time. I don't know if it's their intercom or what. The only other negative is when I order the wife a latte, it seems they can't make one because they are forever cleaning the machine. One day I pulled in on a Saturday morning, I was told this, takes about an hour. Ok. I returned after lunch and guess what? They were STILL cleaning the machine. It looked more like people who didn't feel like making lattes. Two days later, I pull in again, and you guessed it. I said, how is that possible, I was in here two days ago and it was being cleaned. Oh we clean the machine a lot. I betcha.
The only time I found an intercom system that worked was at a Jack In The Box. I pulled in and listened to a conversation that was really none of me business between two girlies talking about their love lives. I knew me motor was on the camera inside, they had to see me, and I kept clearing me throat and saying, "Hello?" but they were giggling and laughing and I started to wonder if this was being done purposely to shock me. Finally I said, "Top of the day ta ye, do you think you can take a few minutes out of your busy and lust filled lives to get me an order please?"
There was silence, then muffled laughter and giggles. "What can I get you?" I wanted to say a Martini and a cigarette but decided against it. Anyway, as usual I got home and found I was missing the fries. I am always missing something from the burger places, doesn't matter if it's Jack In The Box, Burger King, or McDonald's. I know now to check before I pull off. It's got to the point I don't use the drive thru anymore, I go inside so I can see them put the full order in the bag. I know, woe is me.
I don't know what it is with fast food places. I seriously think their intercoms are faulty because can so many employees of these places be hearing impaired? Simple menus turn out to be nightmare cuisine. Sigh.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
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