19 April, 2010

A conversation with R. Linda set to the tune Discombobulate from the Sherlock Holmes soundtrack


18 April 2010
280

R. Linda:


Yeah, we got a song for you and me. LMAO. Mrs. Edgduf and Sweety Todd theme music. You can thank Weasil for this, he's got themes for all his friends. Catchy tune, you can play it on iTunes.


(See 27/01/10 Fling with disaster - The Story of (Squeamish) Sweety Todd (The demon reporter of Fleet Street) and The Story of Mrs. Edguf (and her little shop of fudge horrors)


So in light of me not having a story to tell, I realised I have a wealth of nonsense that's just as good. OUR conversations of late. So without further fanfare, cue the music and get reading.


RL: what are you doing? watching the weather reports for Colorado so you can get a chuckle? mean man


GOS: No, they keep coming up on CNN so I seem to know what the weather is and you confirm it for me.


RL: so who are your new muses?


GOS: What? I wasn't aware I had any but you. What are you talking about?


RL: you didn't finish my story. sigh. figured someone gave you new ideas. LOL, how about a story about a chocolate rabbit with no ears? a GIANT rabbit.


GOS: You mean Sweety Todd? I haven't finished that, true. Maybe with Easter candy coming out, I'll get some ideas. ;-) I started to tell you about an article on recycling last year's clothes when the phone rang. Anyway, we need to find a bedazzled and all that glitz that goes on the shoulders that are being padded with shoulder pads. Oh yeah, I so know you want to look like a bling-bling football player in drag. And we need to take our sweaters apart and have them . . . are you sitting down? Have them rewoven! I want to know who does that? Not only that, we need to get all our old belts together and make shoes out of them! Yeah, you are to go to your local cobbler and dump the belts on his counter and say, "Here, make me some shoes out of these." I was like WHAT, WHAT, WHAT??? I read this in some stupid magazine while I was waiting for my hair stylist and I thought of you and your reaction to such a thing.


RL: keep an eye on Denver weather. after all the sweat of shoveling the walks, the sun came out and melted the snow. It's half gone, the roads are clear. BUT, there's another storm coming. trying to remember the name of the guy who was doomed to push a boulder up a hill. that's me.


GOS: Weather again? Seriously? It's 63 degrees here and we are expecting snow tonight. How is that possible I wanna know. The world of fashion trends does not interest you I see, well me either. I haven't had a chance to get me nose away from the grindstone to write those stories, but I haven't forgotten. Of course, if we have snow I won't be writing, I'll be joining in your favourite endeavour . . . shovelling snow. 


RL: I was rereading your last email. I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED IT!!!! you were reading a magazine while waiting for your HAIRSTYLIST???!!!! ROFLMAO In the middle of the rant about style and icky fashion, it sounds funny now. LOL don't get me wrong, everyone goes to a stylist, barbers are for bald guys, LMAO but guys I know wouldn't admit it, they'd say waiting to get my hair cut. in a macho way. LOL ok, I've had my chuckle. so shoot me.


GOS: WELL . . . Mike is gay, he calls himself a STYLIST, so I respect he does me hair well and it is a unisex salon, thus the fashion rags. Yup lucky me gets to sit among the women and READ stuff I wouldn't ordinarily for the want of something to do. To engage any of them in conversation is like listening to Tonya spout off about nappies, her favourite laundry detergent and how her kids and husband run her ragged. Sigh. I can get that at home, so I bury me face in a zine instead, and come back with all these great and WELCOME fashion hints just for YOU! LOL. And why am I suddenly under siege by a crazy woman (present company not included)? LOL


RL: duh!!! I remember telling you to open and delete!!! do NOT engage!!! LMAO since I couldn't hear accents in the chatroom, lol, I didn't know. I heard yours!!! even through type. remember those days of drifting into Anglo-chat? LMAO a bunch of lonely women setting traps for unsuspecting single guys. not a one of them under the age of 35. the traps they wanted to set was the kind you'd never get out of, short of chewing your own leg off. LOL I kinda miss those days. I'd go in and I'd be REAL popular. Where's this guy? Where's that guy? Dunno!!! haven't heard from him, liar liar pants on fire. tell so-and-so we miss him!!! sure, sure will do. hell those crazy old bats don't even know me anymore. I figured out how to download a partial version of aol 9 on my mac. I asked someone about anglo-chat, and they pulled me in. same old bats, same old tactics. venus flytraps should be the name of the room. trying to lure Peter Pan people into the goo. LOL you should go in and see if they remember you!!! NOT - the sad thing is, they probably would, you were the height of excitement when we first met there. one of only a few actual u.k. people to wander in. kind of like falling into an old lady's bar. anyway, I tend to ramble. REMEMBER read and delete!!!


GOS: Oi!!!


RL: The sun is shining like crazy and not much snow left on the ground. but all day so far, breaking news, haha, another storm is heading my way. sigh. the snow would be easier to move if it wasn't so damn wet. the killer is the day after breaking my back, it's all gone!!! I'll wait for the story. I am very patient. LMAO I'm a liar too.


GOS: Patient? Who we talking about because it isn't you. LOL and OMG the weather again. Sunny here! Hope that makes your day, does mine LOL.


RL: oh yea it warms my heart to know you'll be moving that snow around. LOL


GOS: OH YEAH? Well, it isn't here yet and I went to a Mexican restaurant tonight. It wasn't that good. Maybe the chef had the night off from the last time. Here I thought I found a good tamale source, but uh no. The mohito was good though. So I had three and you know what? The food didn't improve with the alcohol. OMG We are talking weather AGAIN, I just caught it and me fool self for getting suckered in. Oi!


RL: mojito is spelled with a j and pronounced as an h, never had one. rum? you should have had 9 mojitos BEFORE you ate. maybe the food wouldn't have been so bad. LMAO some day you have to make a tamale. they're not that hard to make. just a little messy.


GOS: Takes steaming corn husks doesn't it? I can't see me doing that. And ok a 'J' -- I was in me cups so am still recuperating over the MOJITOS. And look at you, no capital letters, notta one and you are picking on me spelling!


RL: you put them on a rack inside a pan with water on the bottom. you don't have to sit there with a stick holding it. LOL once you put them on to steam, you actually can walk away.


GOS: OMG -- What are we talking about because I forgot. Tamales? Please tell me it's tamales and not something I'd not want swimming in a vat of boiling water, or worse holding something personal with a stick to hold it up! ROFLMAO. You are demented, you really are. Oh no, no, no. It's stinky cheese soup today. Yum. LOL A friend of mine just mentioned he had some, so here I be with a yen for some too. But I have to make mine. ;-(


RL: yes tamales. stinky cheese soup? what kind of cheese, other than parmesan smells bad? that's the one we call stinky feet cheese. it smells like dirty sweat socks. LOL yum


GOS: Gulden Stilton (it's a British blue cheese). Or, to you -- moldy green cheese that smells bad.


RL: beats me. and some of the women stank? and didn't shave. ewww. LMAO


GOS: And then I fell off a rock and then I got back up . . . WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT WOMAN? LOL So lost, so lost . . . What women? Where? Who are we talking about? Lost I tell ya, simply lost me mind thanks to you. LOLOLOLOLOL


RL: LMAO sometimes you are sooo weird!!!


GOS: Oh look who's talking. I went to look at my mail to figure out what I sent you last and there was nothing on it about stinky women. When I went back to your mail, there was nothing in that either. Either you are giving me the gaslight treatment or I have lost me marbles entirely.


RL: Isn't this fun?


GOS: Huh?


RL: email working?


GOS: Seems to be. Tonya had a small lun-ner (lunch/dinner) thing today at the house. I really am not one for talk of the great beyond and cosmos crap. I kept thinking of that song Eleanor Rigby and all the lonely people. They were all at me house!


RL: brain fart. the word I was looking for was metaphysical!!! LMAO so get over it. I'm OLD!!! LOL


GOS: Hum, I didn't know you were searching for a word. But ok. Enough metaphysical stuff. I had to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire because Ton just finished that book. I read the first two for want of something to do, but sorry, can't get into people flying around on broomsticks. I can't get into people cursing without saying bad words and instead of throwing punches, pointing wands. Sigh. Going back to sleep, oops I mean work. LOL, or maybe I'll attempt a Potter Parody of me own. Yeah, that's the ticket.


RL: chronicle an ordinary day. ANYTHING


GOS: OMG How desperate are you? I may have something but won't be until tomorrow.


RL: have you seen the coffee maker that features your once favorite addiction? LOL there is simply no way to stretch out the taunt.  s t a r b u c k s  trying to say it all drawn out. sigh. doesn't have the same affect damn it. lol


GOS: What coffee maker? Where? Now you're being cruel.


RL: I saw an ad, you use a small pod of coffee, and it's STARBUCKS!!! Not scoopable, a little packet. I've been watching commercials. If I see it again, I'll tell you.


GOS: Just commercials? Not a programme or two in-between, just commercials? You are a candidate for the HOME you know that don't you? That's ok I've got used to Dunks. I can get that down the road. SO gorgeous, gorgeous weather here. Up in the 70s the last few days, nothing but bright sunshine, it doesn't get any better than this! LMAO And how's the shovelling? You doing anything special for Easter besides shovelling snow? I don't know, but life is good without a bunny costume in it and fair weather predicted. ;-)~


RL: high winds certain times of the day, but in the 70's mostly. no more snow. FOR NOW, HAHA nothing planned for Easter here. cleaning out the basement. sigh. and I did something stupid. I MOVED the furniture. SIGH and I've found junk, junk and more junk. I don't need a bigger space, I need less JUNK!!


GOS: You're not one of those hoarders are you? The telly has some programme on that and I be hoping you don't show up in an episode, LMAO.


RL: uh uh uh I'm not saying. LMAO BUT I CAN tell you, we filled up a dumpster. LOL and we'll probably fill it up a couple more times in the weeks to come. sigh. YES I'M A HOARDER!!! but I'm changing my ways. It gets hot with too much junk in the house. so you won't EVER see me on that program.


GOS: Aw darn, I was getting ready for Reality with Rolonda. ;-(


RL: weather report sunny for the last 3 days with freezing winds. and don't do your happy dance YET!!! threats of snow for yesterday and today with freezing winds. well, it snowed!!! still don't do the happy dance yet. LOL it was a light dusting so I won't be dragging my snow shovel out, the roads and sidewalks have NO SNOW!!! YAY LMAO so it's baggies weather if I want to freeze my legs off. we'll see what the rest of the day brings. sigh.


GOS: I FREAKING KNEW IT! YOU CAN'T STAY OFF THE WEATHER. Believe it or not, I live in the beautiful tropics of New Hampshire where it is spring and flowers, warm breezes and sunshine all year round. AND, I have a bridge . . . LMAO


RL: SIGH there are cobwebs on the blog!!! SIGH. oh yeah not only cobwebs, but there's dust and I think I saw a sleeping bat hanging upside down in the corner. sigh.


GOS: Change the subject are we? I saw it, you are fun I will admit. I did hear from S.W. this morning that I should get rid of any more Rotter stories and write something because the blog was stagnating, so that's two of you who were complaining and AWAKE. I truly have nothing to write about. I be such a boring sort at the moment. I just have to accept the fact that I be a fat, boring, lazy kinda of idiot. Sigh. But who knows, me ears are pricked for anything stupid coming down the line that I can sink me fangs, I mean, teeth into.


RL: word fixing needed on last story. thank you for clearing the bat out of there, also the dust. It was making me sneeze.


GOS: LOL, I don't reread as you can tell, but I'll go do that now. Achoo! Still some dust? I need to have something bizarre happen.


RL: a tornado maybe? a high wind with a dust storm? how about a big dust rag? LOL and some lemon pledge. make it smell good.


GOS: Sad when the muse becomes the cleaning lady and fancies herself a comedienne at me expense. Oh, I know you're pretending to clean, you're looking to move the furniture around really to trip me up in there. Yup I bet you are.


RL: LMAO I just went back and reread the Easter dinner story. I didn't notice the (with ears) thing until just now. LOL you REALLY have a thing with ears. sigh. I wish I'd sent you a bunny with NO ears. damn, another missed opportunity!!!


GOS: Dontcha dare. I would freak and probably not be able to write another story ever again.


RL: LMAO actually bought a solid DARK chocie bunny. I ate the ears. but I couldn't send you something I'd chewed on, sooo I ate the whole bunny. LOL I should have sawed off the ears. sigh. I didn't think. next year


GOS: No, no, no next year or year after that. YOU bite them off and finish them off. I would be remiss if I lost me mind and could not write anymore from shock.


RL: I might want a 3D tv, but for some odd reason, my eyes don't see the 3D. never have. the picture just appears fuzzy to me and the special effects are lost on me. LOL soooo, I guess I'll have to stick to what I have. sigh LMAO I'm going to the blog now, to dust and sweep.


GOS: Uhhh you know you have to wear special glasses for 3D. That's why you can't see anything. Oi!


RL:  DUH I KNOW you have to wear 3D glasses. LMAO the problem is they don't WORK for me. and they give a freaking headache. YES I DUSTED, SWEPT, and even mopped!!!! AND I chased the bats out, no more creepy crawlies. IT SHINES!!!! and I've read all the stuff AGAIN!!! I think I should have just ironed LOL. NOT. I DID iron 3 pieces. just leaves about 70 more to go. plus, with all the laundry I have to do, that'll add about 100. SIGH.


GOS: Oi! 100 what? I'll bite, I know I shouldn't, but I am. Me aching head, if it isn't the weather report from Denver, it's the ironing and the moving rocks in the yard OR worse, the furniture again! And would you stay out of that blog, I know you are on to me hidden chocie stash in there. You'll never find it.


RL: you had CHOCIES hidden in there? rat bastard. I guess I didn't move things around enough. LOL I came out of there all bedraggled and dusty, sneezing up a storm. with no chocie reward. HELL, I would have settled for a squishy salt water taffy. sigh.


GOS: Uh oh, I just finished up the taffy. It was sooo gooooood too.


RL: you are bad bad bad!!!! you ATE IT?!!!! SIGH good taffy is soooo hard to find. I hope it had lint on it LMAO and I hope it was more than 50 calories.


GOS: Aw poor you! Lucky fat me!


RL: oh yeah I bought some gooey fudge from king soopers not as good as mine, but it'll do. LMAO


GOS: Yeah well, the desperate have to do what the desperate have to do, LMAO.


RL: ROFLMAO our conversations ARE weird!!!! some of them are so disconnected. LOL 2 loons in a nut factory!!! HEY I have to make fun, cuz you're so easy. sigh. I DID have a good laugh!!! and it's warm here. LMAO YEAH the weather.

Gabe
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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I see what makes you two tick and click. I was at first a little confused, but then I thought it would be fun to be in a room listening to you two. No one would believe the conversation. :+)

Gabriel O'Sullivan said...

You need play the music with it, makes it even more sketchy. ;-)

Fionnula said...

I must be crazy I played that music over and over as I read this, and it makes the conversation nuttier than it already is. I am worried because I found I rather enjoyed it though it made no sense to me. :+(