First journalistic endeavour - Scotland

01 - 2003

Story #5

R. Linda:

You asked for this. This be me very first story from the UK. It was Scotland where I was sent to report. But before you read on, I apologise to all Scots it was meant in good humour.

SHEEP MOLESTER(S) ARRESTED

By Gabriel O'Sullivan (not Gilbert)

Tuesday, 2000 July 24

Near Inverness Scotland -- Hammish MacLupin is currently being held in custody on his third animal abuse offence. MacLupin was captured late last night after Hector MacBaa was awakened by the sound of crying sheep.

"These are not just sheep," said MacBaa, "These are me pets; family pets. I love these wee sheep and to have them molested like this, by a person other than me, is totally unacceptable."

MacLupin was quoted as saying, "But the sheep are so soft and woolly," immediately before he was put into custody.

Sheep molester MacLupin was apprehended on a local farm just outside town after being spotted by young Willie MacWee, who was on his way to deliver pig intestines to the local sausage maker, Ewen Haggis. MacWee said he spotted MacLupin trying to dress one of MacBaa's sheep (Baabra) in long fishnet elastic-topped stockings. Consumed by what he was seeing, young MacWee got off his bike and started hollering at MacLupin to unhand Baabra, "Because she was one of me own personal favs."

After that statement in front of the local arresting authorities, young MacWee was also taken into custody for questioning.

Ewen Haggis, grabbing the fishnets and intestines from the newly arrested MacWee, was heard to mumble, "Not my Baabra lass, I love that wee sheep."

"It seems there is a ring of sheep molesters and they have got to be stopped," said local police constable Archie MacClink. MacClink went on to say he was, "About to have the bloody lot of them thrown in the nick. Sheep are people too," he said, his eyes welling up.

This reporter took another look at 'Baabra' the sheep in question, and can vouch she's a pretty thing, long black stockings and gloves, curly blond hair and a face that only a sheep-loving man could . . . but I digress.

This is an ongoing story and this reporter will be there when news breaks in this case and after a lengthy interview with Baabra.

                                                                           

The Baabra in question

Gabe
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