Why I haven't written lately

Winter - 2003

Story #7

R. Linda:

It isn't that I don't want to write, I do, but THEY keep me busy. With the new governor assuming office, I have been sent out like his lap dog to cover his every move and comment. The latter is by far the more interesting. Me first dogging his heels was to go to the opening of the Ted Williams Tunnel, now that THAT part of the Big Dig is completed. It was freaking cold and I was about to freeze me privates off waiting for the ribbon-cutting ceremony to start. Gov came last and looked painfully uncomfortable standing to the side of the dignitaries who all held oversized scissors to cut the red, white, and blue "big" ribbon. Since Gov wasn't in office when all this costly renovation started, he was not entitled, nor was he asked, to wield the oversized scissors and help with the honours.

So there he was freezing and probably thinking he'd like to cut the balls off all the Democrat dignitaries with the scissors making Democrat jokes as they waited for it all to begin.

Meanwhile, yours truly was stomping one frozen foot and then the other, in the vain attempt to warm them. I was about to feel me brain go into deep freeze mode after the Democrats had their say. They made jokes that were like, ha, ha funny, and you had to be a Democrat to appreciate it all. Finally, me man steps forward, the only frozen Republican in the bunch and makes his speech -- where quickly all the Democratic smiles were wiped clean as he said sarcastically, "Well, it's been a long time overdue the opening of this artery from the city to Logan airport. It's also been long over budget." Well, bang if I wasn't feeling the unfamiliar cold of Boston, I would have thought I was back home in Belfast. Was much like the Proddy's telling Gerry Adams, the disarmament was overdue and when are ye gonna do it man?

I shook me head to make sure I was where I was, and sure enough, I was in Boston so I wrote down the comment and went back and filed me report. Later I sat in me warm flat and felt the satisfaction that I'd done well. The next day there it was on page 1!

Then just when I thought I'd have a wee break the Gov was going to the armory for a dinner with the lads and lasses who were being called to duty in the Gulf. There I was enjoying the Spam on toast when up pops the Gov to make a speech. Here it was all the families together with the leave-taking patriotic loved ones, tears a plenty and there was I, thinking the Gov would give a rousingly patriotic speech and we'd all get fired up and the tears would turn to resolve. Only that isn't what happened, instead, he gets up to the podium, and while a few patriotic remarks are made in passing, he says, "This is a time we should all realise that goodbye doesn't mean I'll be seeing you tomorrow, nor does it mean another week, or month, or even a year. Sometimes goodbye is forever. When those we send off don't come home, the reality of life hits."

Well, here I was again, thinking I be back in Belfast covering a Gerry Adams speech to his IRA soldiers about to descend on the warring masses of Proddy's in the Shankill. I was shaking me head, but once again, me and me trusty pencil noted it all. I made it back to the paper and sure enough there it was the next day on page 2. I be sitting on me laurels I be, and anxiously awaiting the Gov's next outing and sardonic remarks.

Since he doesn't seem destined to do much today, I be writing copy in a warm office building, dreaming of what me next Gov assignment might be, and if that too will play on pages 1 or 2.

Gabe
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