Valentine Tulips...A Little Dried Out And Way Over Their Best By Date

04 February 2024

Story #1108

R. Linda:

Well, I guess it's never too late to buy tulips. Yes, indeed. I was at the chemist to pick up some Valentine's Day chocolates, and usually, they run out if you don't buy early. Well, one-stop shopping appeals to this Irishman. So I ran in and got three small Valentine's chocolate hearts for the kiddos (small because chocolate wires them up and well . . . you get the picture), and two big ones for the wife and the Mam. I usually buy tulips for Mam and the tulips sell fast so I get them early. I went to the front of the store where the tulips usually reside and what did I find? THIS: 

Long Life Tulips from 2018

Uhhh . . . Seriously? I had me pick of red or yellow. There were five nicely dried-out and dead plants to choose from for $9.99 each (what a bargain, right?). The roots had water in the slot below which gave me pause. A couple of petals were dropped on the counter, making me wonder how it was the others hadn't dropped all the petals after that amount of time. More importantly, why were they there in the first place? It is 2024, and these certainly looked like they were leftover from what the sign said in 2018. Long life? I don't think so.

As you may guess, I didn't buy one. Though I was tempted, I wasn't sure Mam would get the joke, instead, she might be chasing me around the house threatening to dump them on my head, so I refrained (hard as that was). I ended up buying none. She has a tulip garden and plants her Valentine's Day, Mother's Day and Easter tulips every year in the ever-expanding tulip garden. She isn't much for cut flowers, so I had been counting on early tulips. 

The florist is where I get roses for the wife, and I do that on THE day, her favourite, Valentine's Day. I will have to see if they have planted tulips (usually they have the cut ones). I don't know what I will do if I cannot find tulips with the bulbs. Perhaps a tulip IOU. Yes, that's the ticket. 

Anyway, I thought I'd share another mishap in the great state of New Hampshire. I tell you, from dumpster diving to shooting your son's girlfriend, locking the door from the police (and you, only the babysitter), and dead tulips, it's never dull up here in snowman land. 

Gabe

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