31 December, 2016

Happy New Year! Year End Antics

31 December 2016

R. Linda:

It is the end of the year finally, and I be hoping next year be a better year, though most of us are biting our fingernails in anticipation of a worse one. Let's pray it is a surprisingly wonderful new beginning and not an ending. I know I can't stop the pessimism after the hopeful optimism but this last year has conditioned something in most of the thinking population who just aren't sure anymore.

I'd like to look back on 2016 and remind you of the laughs we did have in the O'Sully household, but me pessimistic side won't go there, it'd rather worry and so instead of revisiting we will move forward and tell you a couple of short episodes in the life that you don't know that happened and might at the very least, give you a smile.

First up of two is Tonya and I at Walmart before Christmas, standing in a queue waiting to check out the last minute stocking stuffers we had gathered in our trolley. So there we are with a few other exasperated last minuters, when Tonya looks up an says, "Hey Gabe, would like an asshat for Christmas."

I blinked thinking I did not hear her correctly and asked her to repeat her question, which she did, and yes, I did hear it correctly. Me response was a "What?"

"An asshat." She said smiling smugly.

"Ok what pray tell what is an asshat."

"I don't know," she said and then pointed to the checkout.

I looked but I didn't see any hats so I shrugged.

"Look below the Merry Christmas sign," says she pointing.

I look over and I see this:

Yes indeed, there it was Asshats!
Ok she had her little fun. What was up at Walmart I do not know, but the Walmart elves were having a good time quite obviously. I would suppose it was a sign originally for Christmas hats, but who knows now-a-days?

Christmas Eve day we went to visit me old neighbour Lois and for years I have admired this:

Every year out on her deck lighting up the night
And every year I have threatened to abscond with Mr. Frosty since I like him so much. I have offered to buy him outright from her, but she will not part with him. Every year I up the ante to a higher offer and still no, no, no. For the past three years I have threatened to steal him off her deck and she laughs thinking I be joking.

Well, this year while she was busy on a phone call that came as we were leaving, I went out to her deck unplugged him and did this:

Yup I took the man of the hour FINALLY
When she got off the phone which was within seconds of me getting the Frosty person in Mam's car and driving off, I saw her come to the door to wave goodbye, which she was until she saw this:

Yes, I even lit him up!
If it wasn't so icy I think she would have come out running, but I was too quick with her. Well, I had Frosty all lit up at me house the next day, and guests admired I "found" a Frosty of me own. Even Lois who showed up with a rueful smile on her face, said through her teeth to me, "Enjoy him because he's leaving with me."

By the time our Christmas Eve gala was over, I was busy with wishing all a happy Christmas when I look out at the cars lining me driveway and what do I see, but Ms. Lois with her arm around that fat snowman, shoving him back in her car and then she had the nerve to light him up and as she waved and pulled away, shouted, "He doesn't like it here he wants to come home! Merry Christmas, good try loser!"

I tell ya! I was hoping to have Frosty for the holidays but no, no, no not if Lois has anything to say about it. Gees! But there is always next year. I need to get back at her for the 40 pink flamingos she left on me lawn when I first moved in. I had no clue who did that, but she couldn't contain her mischievousness and well . . . FROSTY IS MINE NEXT YEAR!!!

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  1. ROFLMAO I NEEDED that! too bad you lost frosty so fasy. I use the word asshat a lot so I wish I could buy one. LOL ine thing is missing from the story, FOOD! CHOCCIE FOOD!you need your own frosty

  2. Cappy, I want an asshat for a certain dead monkey. Pick one up next time there is a sale. As for the snowman I can get you one already lit by Capt. Morgan -- my wife rolled in the snow.

    1. You sir are lucky your wife doesn't read your comments. You'd be hanging from the yardarm.