341
R. Linda:
When I got to work this morning I told me office mates about me stop at Dunken' Donuts to bring them coffee and how my wishing the Dunk's staff a merry Christmas wasn't exactly taken in the spirit I gave it. All day long it was the talk of the office and we all had a good laugh.
Another reporter and I were assigned a story in Chelsea, so off we went. We parked the car at a parking garage and walked the rest of the way to our interview. We had been working together on investigating a story and fancied ourselves like Woodward and Bernstein, but I bet neither of those fellas got to freezing their arses off like we did in the streets of Boston. It was windy like you would not believe though the temperature said it was a lot warmer than it felt.
Well, we did our investigations and interviews and started back to the parking garage this time facing into the wind which was howling like a banshee in our faces. We were frozen blocks of ice by the time we got to the car. As we are pulling out of the parking garage, I said to Mark, "This thing got heat?" I was cold and was joking, but he looked a bit taken aback and muttered something about the heater being broke. I was like NO WAY why didn't we take MY car then?
Let me say this about Mark, I don't particularly like him. He is a practical joker for the most part, and takes very little in life seriously. You may say that's not such a bad thing, but read on and here is Mark taking life not at all seriously, and jeopardising some innocent by making them the butt of his joke.
Anyway, we were cold, and we knew there was an office party nearby. We had just enough time to make the copyreaders Christmas party so we decided to crash the party since we knew they were at a pub with alcohol and food. The copy staff was already happy which made our gatecrashing appearance a thing of great joy. They hauled us up to the bar and told us to order as they snickered and laughed at each other, and then to come over to enjoy the "spread." And it was quite a spread, they had everything good to eat you could think of. Mark wondered aloud why the copy people had better food than us? Our office parties were always sparse on anything good and if there was anything worth munching it was gone in half a minute. Well, we warmed ourselves plenty, filled up on hot hors doeuvres and drink, lots and lots of drink. It was free after all!
By the time we left we knew we needed to sober up. As we hit the outside the wind about carried us off and all the warmth we had stored up seemed to be depleting rapidly with the wind. We got into the car and talked of driving very carefully to Dunken Donuts for a twofold purpose, 1. to warm back up with hot coffee and 2. to sober up. It was just down the street, and we sat in the car arguing about driving while under the influence. Finally, copyreader Dan came out and we called him over and asked him where he was going. He said, "Home," looking at us like we were a couple of morons. We asked him if he lived by Dunks and he said he was one block beyond it. We opened the door and told him to get in and drive us to Dunks. He obliged. I don't know what the conversation was on the way to Dunks, but I think it was at his good humoured expense, him being sober. I'll know for sure when I have him send me back my copy and it's got a giant X on it.
So he left us, and Mark shifted back over to the driver's side (yes we were all three in the front seat like sardines because it was freaking cold), so he pulled up to the speaker and the usual welcome and request for what we wanted came in with the wind.
"I want a HOT coffee with cream only and one splenda."
"One hot coffee with cream only and one splenda, anything else?" the voice asked.
"Yes, a HOT coffee with cream only."
"Okay that's one hot coffee with cream only and one splenda and another hot coffee with cream only."
"Yesh."
"Anything else?"
"Yesh. Two gingerbread donuts if you have them and a coffee roll heated with butter."
"Is that all?"
"Nooo. A turkey bacon and cheddar flatbread, and a bagel as is if you have it."
The voice came back sounding harrassed almost, like it was in a hurry and it repeated everything back to us and asked us if that was it.
"Nooo, could I get a hot chocolate with whipped cream? And THAT will do it."
So once again, in a hurried manner all was read back with a final exasperated, "Is that it?" which was said hopefully that it was, and Mark gave the affirmative and we were told to drive on up. We did. As we are sitting there waiting, the girl is telling the other workers what we ordered and is acting like she just can't believe how much "stuff" we have her doing. Mind you there was no one behind us in line, we were the only customers. She gets our order all ready, takes the card with coupon and when she sees the coupon it was like OH NO not a coupon too! So she's slamming the cash machine and we are trying to act like we are not aware of all this going on. We get the food and we pull to a parking space and we begin to warm up with the coffees and hot food, munch on the sweets and find we are discussing the girl at the window. How rude was she? How about we order again? We laugh and Mark pulls out of the space and we drop the empty cups and bags into the Dunks trash and pull on around to the speaker.
There was a hesitation as we could see her looking out the pick-up window all confused. Finally we get the welcoming and what would we like. So we start it all over again, only this time, "A dozen munchkins, no make that three, and do you have those vanilla creme filled donuts with the cream oozing out the top?"
"All out."
"Okay do you have the chocolate cream filled ones with the cream oozing out the top?"
"Let me check." Comes back with, "Yes, we have one."
"Oh, well I need two, so do you have the jelly sticks and the strawberry frosted donuts?"
"Let me check." Comes back with a strange tone in her voice like she'd getting mad at us, "One jelly stick left and how many strawberry donuts do you want?"
Ooh turned the tables on us with that last question.
"Forget the jelly stick, give me six strawberry donuts and do you have any Boston creme?"
Now she's wise to us, "How many Boston creme?"
"Six if you have them."
"I do. So that's six strawberry donuts, six Boston creme donuts and three dozen assorted munchkins, anything else?" She says with impatience.
"Did I say assorted munchkins?" Mark asks.
There was silence. She was fumming and I'm trying not to laugh.
"Okay that sounds good, that should do it." Mark said like it was just fine and dandy with him.
"Drive up." No amount, no is that it, just drive up.
We did and we paid her with no coupons this time and she was looking at us like we were the dregs of society. So we pulled into a parking spot and sat there getting a sugar high when we realise we have nothing to wash the sugar down with, so it was back to the speaker.
"WHAT?" She says and we look at each other trying not to laugh, it was funny.
"Uh can I have . . . " and Mark sat there squinting his eyes thinking.
"Yes? Can you have WHAT? What did you forget?"
"Coffee, cream only," he began, and then he was interrupted with "Yeah I got it one hot coffee, cream only and one Splenda, one hot coffee cream only."
We were smiling at this, so we drove up without her telling us to and she slid the window open and leaned out, hissing. "Do you two think this is fun, driving up and ordering, then driving up again and ordering, don't you have something or somewhere you should be?"
She handed us the coffee. Mark went to give her the card with another COUPON. She looked at it and shook her head, "On me. See ya, not later, not tomorrow, not next Tuesday . . ." her head was shaking like she had a palsy so irked was she. We decided we had had our fun and were sobering up enough to realise we were being the customers from hell and so we drove off with our free coffees and unused coupon.
Mark said he was going to stop at Starbucks if I didn't mind. I didn't, but I wondered why. Unlike Dunks he ordered a white chocolate mocha venti without any more conversation but what he wanted and a thank you when he paid for it. Then he turned the car around started back to Dunks. I was like what are you doing, and he pulled in and up to the speaker and I was now afraid for me life.
"Are you crazy?" I whispered as the voice came over the system in a stilted manner and asked to take our order.
"No, I forgot something, can I just drive up?"
"Drive up," she said and I could see her looking at her station to see what she had forgot to give us. "Sir I gave you your orders, all of them, there is nothing here," she said annoyed as she slid the window open.
"No, that's not why I am here, here this is for you for putting up with us," and he hands her the Starbucks. Her eyes are bugging out of her head and she's looking to see where her co-workers are because the last thing a Dunk's employee wants to be caught with is a Starbuck's coffee.
"Oh . . . I can't possibly," she stammers looking scared.
"Here, I'll leave it right here." And he drives off and as soon as the window is up he starts singing Christmas carols. She didn't know if he was being nice or trying to get her fired, I don't know either, but I think it wasn't a nice gesture, but I'm not sure. I was all the way back to our office wondering if I dreamed the whole thing and worse wondering WHO DOES THAT? Well, we did and I was riding shotgun and feeling very guilty now that I be sober. I have made a New Years resolution to never go to that Dunks again (for fear of me life) AND never to tie on a few with Mark. EVER.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
When I got to work this morning I told me office mates about me stop at Dunken' Donuts to bring them coffee and how my wishing the Dunk's staff a merry Christmas wasn't exactly taken in the spirit I gave it. All day long it was the talk of the office and we all had a good laugh.
Another reporter and I were assigned a story in Chelsea, so off we went. We parked the car at a parking garage and walked the rest of the way to our interview. We had been working together on investigating a story and fancied ourselves like Woodward and Bernstein, but I bet neither of those fellas got to freezing their arses off like we did in the streets of Boston. It was windy like you would not believe though the temperature said it was a lot warmer than it felt.
Well, we did our investigations and interviews and started back to the parking garage this time facing into the wind which was howling like a banshee in our faces. We were frozen blocks of ice by the time we got to the car. As we are pulling out of the parking garage, I said to Mark, "This thing got heat?" I was cold and was joking, but he looked a bit taken aback and muttered something about the heater being broke. I was like NO WAY why didn't we take MY car then?
Let me say this about Mark, I don't particularly like him. He is a practical joker for the most part, and takes very little in life seriously. You may say that's not such a bad thing, but read on and here is Mark taking life not at all seriously, and jeopardising some innocent by making them the butt of his joke.
Anyway, we were cold, and we knew there was an office party nearby. We had just enough time to make the copyreaders Christmas party so we decided to crash the party since we knew they were at a pub with alcohol and food. The copy staff was already happy which made our gatecrashing appearance a thing of great joy. They hauled us up to the bar and told us to order as they snickered and laughed at each other, and then to come over to enjoy the "spread." And it was quite a spread, they had everything good to eat you could think of. Mark wondered aloud why the copy people had better food than us? Our office parties were always sparse on anything good and if there was anything worth munching it was gone in half a minute. Well, we warmed ourselves plenty, filled up on hot hors doeuvres and drink, lots and lots of drink. It was free after all!
By the time we left we knew we needed to sober up. As we hit the outside the wind about carried us off and all the warmth we had stored up seemed to be depleting rapidly with the wind. We got into the car and talked of driving very carefully to Dunken Donuts for a twofold purpose, 1. to warm back up with hot coffee and 2. to sober up. It was just down the street, and we sat in the car arguing about driving while under the influence. Finally, copyreader Dan came out and we called him over and asked him where he was going. He said, "Home," looking at us like we were a couple of morons. We asked him if he lived by Dunks and he said he was one block beyond it. We opened the door and told him to get in and drive us to Dunks. He obliged. I don't know what the conversation was on the way to Dunks, but I think it was at his good humoured expense, him being sober. I'll know for sure when I have him send me back my copy and it's got a giant X on it.
So he left us, and Mark shifted back over to the driver's side (yes we were all three in the front seat like sardines because it was freaking cold), so he pulled up to the speaker and the usual welcome and request for what we wanted came in with the wind.
"I want a HOT coffee with cream only and one splenda."
"One hot coffee with cream only and one splenda, anything else?" the voice asked.
"Yes, a HOT coffee with cream only."
"Okay that's one hot coffee with cream only and one splenda and another hot coffee with cream only."
"Yesh."
"Anything else?"
"Yesh. Two gingerbread donuts if you have them and a coffee roll heated with butter."
"Is that all?"
"Nooo. A turkey bacon and cheddar flatbread, and a bagel as is if you have it."
The voice came back sounding harrassed almost, like it was in a hurry and it repeated everything back to us and asked us if that was it.
"Nooo, could I get a hot chocolate with whipped cream? And THAT will do it."
So once again, in a hurried manner all was read back with a final exasperated, "Is that it?" which was said hopefully that it was, and Mark gave the affirmative and we were told to drive on up. We did. As we are sitting there waiting, the girl is telling the other workers what we ordered and is acting like she just can't believe how much "stuff" we have her doing. Mind you there was no one behind us in line, we were the only customers. She gets our order all ready, takes the card with coupon and when she sees the coupon it was like OH NO not a coupon too! So she's slamming the cash machine and we are trying to act like we are not aware of all this going on. We get the food and we pull to a parking space and we begin to warm up with the coffees and hot food, munch on the sweets and find we are discussing the girl at the window. How rude was she? How about we order again? We laugh and Mark pulls out of the space and we drop the empty cups and bags into the Dunks trash and pull on around to the speaker.
There was a hesitation as we could see her looking out the pick-up window all confused. Finally we get the welcoming and what would we like. So we start it all over again, only this time, "A dozen munchkins, no make that three, and do you have those vanilla creme filled donuts with the cream oozing out the top?"
"All out."
"Okay do you have the chocolate cream filled ones with the cream oozing out the top?"
"Let me check." Comes back with, "Yes, we have one."
"Oh, well I need two, so do you have the jelly sticks and the strawberry frosted donuts?"
"Let me check." Comes back with a strange tone in her voice like she'd getting mad at us, "One jelly stick left and how many strawberry donuts do you want?"
Ooh turned the tables on us with that last question.
"Forget the jelly stick, give me six strawberry donuts and do you have any Boston creme?"
Now she's wise to us, "How many Boston creme?"
"Six if you have them."
"I do. So that's six strawberry donuts, six Boston creme donuts and three dozen assorted munchkins, anything else?" She says with impatience.
"Did I say assorted munchkins?" Mark asks.
There was silence. She was fumming and I'm trying not to laugh.
"Okay that sounds good, that should do it." Mark said like it was just fine and dandy with him.
"Drive up." No amount, no is that it, just drive up.
We did and we paid her with no coupons this time and she was looking at us like we were the dregs of society. So we pulled into a parking spot and sat there getting a sugar high when we realise we have nothing to wash the sugar down with, so it was back to the speaker.
"WHAT?" She says and we look at each other trying not to laugh, it was funny.
"Uh can I have . . . " and Mark sat there squinting his eyes thinking.
"Yes? Can you have WHAT? What did you forget?"
"Coffee, cream only," he began, and then he was interrupted with "Yeah I got it one hot coffee, cream only and one Splenda, one hot coffee cream only."
We were smiling at this, so we drove up without her telling us to and she slid the window open and leaned out, hissing. "Do you two think this is fun, driving up and ordering, then driving up again and ordering, don't you have something or somewhere you should be?"
She handed us the coffee. Mark went to give her the card with another COUPON. She looked at it and shook her head, "On me. See ya, not later, not tomorrow, not next Tuesday . . ." her head was shaking like she had a palsy so irked was she. We decided we had had our fun and were sobering up enough to realise we were being the customers from hell and so we drove off with our free coffees and unused coupon.
Mark said he was going to stop at Starbucks if I didn't mind. I didn't, but I wondered why. Unlike Dunks he ordered a white chocolate mocha venti without any more conversation but what he wanted and a thank you when he paid for it. Then he turned the car around started back to Dunks. I was like what are you doing, and he pulled in and up to the speaker and I was now afraid for me life.
"Are you crazy?" I whispered as the voice came over the system in a stilted manner and asked to take our order.
"No, I forgot something, can I just drive up?"
"Drive up," she said and I could see her looking at her station to see what she had forgot to give us. "Sir I gave you your orders, all of them, there is nothing here," she said annoyed as she slid the window open.
"No, that's not why I am here, here this is for you for putting up with us," and he hands her the Starbucks. Her eyes are bugging out of her head and she's looking to see where her co-workers are because the last thing a Dunk's employee wants to be caught with is a Starbuck's coffee.
"Oh . . . I can't possibly," she stammers looking scared.
"Here, I'll leave it right here." And he drives off and as soon as the window is up he starts singing Christmas carols. She didn't know if he was being nice or trying to get her fired, I don't know either, but I think it wasn't a nice gesture, but I'm not sure. I was all the way back to our office wondering if I dreamed the whole thing and worse wondering WHO DOES THAT? Well, we did and I was riding shotgun and feeling very guilty now that I be sober. I have made a New Years resolution to never go to that Dunks again (for fear of me life) AND never to tie on a few with Mark. EVER.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
