48
R. Linda:
Here is a wee bit of me life that you might enjoy. I have acquired, yes acquired this new friend who has moved into the studio apartment on the first floor of me residence. This was two weeks past. Now she is a skinny, wee thing with short straight blond hair, tipped in pink, merry hazel eyes, and for all intents and purposes, on the outside, looks sane. I got suckered into thinking such and befriended the wee thing thinking to add a new American friend to me small circle.
I was coming in from me grocery shopping when I met her dragging in cardboard boxes of her "stuff." I introduced meself and offered assistance. She readily took me offer and told me there were one or two boxes left in the rental truck by the front door, would I be a big help and bring them in? Why for sure and I would, and so I ran me groceries up to me flat and ran down to get the last two boxes.
Well, damn me but the first box was full of stereo equipment and quite a bit heavier than one man can manage. Struggling, I got the one up the front stoop and into the hall when she comes to the doorway and stands in it talking me ear off about her being an artist and such. Begorrah me, I lean the box and meself against the wall and here I be answering her like the box weighs nothing, yes a display of machoism that was stupid on me part. I ask her where she wants the box and she points and I near about fall into the room with it. It took great force of me body and mind to go get the other one, which she once again met me in the doorway while I struggled to keep from dropping the mega-load of art supplies she had jammed in the box.
Things went well for the first week she moved in. The apartment took on a look of Disneyland. She had stayed up near day and night painting this huge mural on the longest wall (the one you face as you come in), with castles, dragons, faeries and such. Quite a spectacle of neon colours, in pink, purples, electric blues, and bright yellows like I've never seen. I took to wearing sunglasses anytime I passed by her door, because the glare near knocked me over. Even with the door closed it glows under the door bottom. The strange was she has ears like a hound, she can hear me footfalls all the way from the third floor and whoosh the door opens just as me foot touches the ground floor. I cannot get passed her without her greeting me in and out!
Now that aside, she decided to get herself a pet, a dog to be exact. She says to me on Thursday of the week before this one, she has gone to the animal shelter to give a dog a home. She has picked out said dog, but does not want to drive her Volkswagen Beetle with the dog loose in the car. We can't have a dog induced traffic accident, so would I "be a doll," and drive the car while she keeps the animal on her lap? I agree to do this since that next Saturday morning I have nothing scheduled.
Saturday rolls round and we go off to the shelter and I wait in the car while she goes in to complete the paperwork. Now I be sitting there watching family after family come out with newly adopted dogs. The first was a gray wolf looking dog with yellow eyes and a beautiful coat of fur like you've never seen. I was impressed. Then a couple came out with a floppy eared Basset Hound, ears dragging upon the ground, all cute and such and off they go. The last is a family of four and they came out with a beautiful Irish Setter, the coat a deep rich red and here I be thinking this is the way to go with getting a full breed dog.
I waited a little longer and then I saw the short spiky hair and the white t-shirt back of me new neighbour. She was urging something on a leash to come out the door. I be anxiously craning me neck only to be disappointed in what was on the end of the leash. It be the ugliest dog I've ever seen in me life, it looked for all the world like a white and black pig!
I rubbed eyes in disbelief, thinking they were deceiving me, but no for sure and may the saints preserve us all, it looked like a pig with a dogs head. I jumped out of the car and ran up to take me a better look.
"What is THAT?" I asked trying to make out what kind of dog it might be, if it was one at all.
"It is a dog, can't you see that? What did you think it was? Isn't he the most cuddly, precious thing you've ever seen?"
''NO," I said, "it looks hideous. You aren't serious are you? You are taking that home?"
And so she thought I was joking, and ignored me while coaxing the pig/dog to the car and in she got and I had to reluctantly heave the thing in on her lap. Talk about putting me back out, between the boxes and the pig/dog I be needing a Chiropractor. Once in, I got a closer look at this drooling fat thing and shaking me head, I put the car in gear and home we went.
I don't understand it. Surely there were more dogs in there than this one. I said to her after, what about the Basset Hound, and she said she thought they were ugly and didn't want one. How about the Irish Setter, and she said it was too big. BIG? What she has may not be tall, but it is WIDE.
It can't fit out the door without assistance. I have been suspicious she is crazy and be near sure of it because today I was caught as I came down me stairs with the whoosh of her door opening and there she stood with the pig/dog at her feet and inside are puppets and such hanging from the ceiling, and I thought I was bad with hot air balloons! I mean it is bizarre. I stumbled in uninvited because I was in a state of shock. Me mouth hung gapping to me knees as I walked around the one room apartment looking up at clowns, faeries, elfish things and Punch and Judy type puppets. All made by herself! And as if that wasn't enough, the wall where the door was had a full wall mural of Mickey and Mini Mouse, Donald Duck and the entire Duck family, and Peter Pan, Wendy, and Tinkerbell!
It was done well,but how can someone live in a toy box I want to know.
As I stood looking at the Peter Pan and Wendy part of the mural she says, "Don't you love Peter? I do."
I mumbled something like, yes indeed, as I took in the rest of it. The furniture is all wooden stuff she's painted in stripes and poka-dots in rainbow colours. Visually it is a trip and you don't need drugs to get there.
To end this introduction to me newest neighbour, she said that my liking the Peter Pan story was a stroke of luck because she wanted to know if I'd go to a theme party with her. Still taking in the whole colour filled room, I nodded without thinking. It wasn't until a few minutes ago I realised what else she said.
Here it is, I be invited to a TINKERBELL PARTY! Yes, go ahead and laugh. It gets worse, the party is an annual event, for her FATHER. He is a 50 something and everyone gets dressed up like someone from Peter Pan. But wait, her father gets dressed up like Tinkerbell! What have I got meself into?
Gabe
Copyright © 2004 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Here is a wee bit of me life that you might enjoy. I have acquired, yes acquired this new friend who has moved into the studio apartment on the first floor of me residence. This was two weeks past. Now she is a skinny, wee thing with short straight blond hair, tipped in pink, merry hazel eyes, and for all intents and purposes, on the outside, looks sane. I got suckered into thinking such and befriended the wee thing thinking to add a new American friend to me small circle.
I was coming in from me grocery shopping when I met her dragging in cardboard boxes of her "stuff." I introduced meself and offered assistance. She readily took me offer and told me there were one or two boxes left in the rental truck by the front door, would I be a big help and bring them in? Why for sure and I would, and so I ran me groceries up to me flat and ran down to get the last two boxes.
Well, damn me but the first box was full of stereo equipment and quite a bit heavier than one man can manage. Struggling, I got the one up the front stoop and into the hall when she comes to the doorway and stands in it talking me ear off about her being an artist and such. Begorrah me, I lean the box and meself against the wall and here I be answering her like the box weighs nothing, yes a display of machoism that was stupid on me part. I ask her where she wants the box and she points and I near about fall into the room with it. It took great force of me body and mind to go get the other one, which she once again met me in the doorway while I struggled to keep from dropping the mega-load of art supplies she had jammed in the box.
Things went well for the first week she moved in. The apartment took on a look of Disneyland. She had stayed up near day and night painting this huge mural on the longest wall (the one you face as you come in), with castles, dragons, faeries and such. Quite a spectacle of neon colours, in pink, purples, electric blues, and bright yellows like I've never seen. I took to wearing sunglasses anytime I passed by her door, because the glare near knocked me over. Even with the door closed it glows under the door bottom. The strange was she has ears like a hound, she can hear me footfalls all the way from the third floor and whoosh the door opens just as me foot touches the ground floor. I cannot get passed her without her greeting me in and out!
Now that aside, she decided to get herself a pet, a dog to be exact. She says to me on Thursday of the week before this one, she has gone to the animal shelter to give a dog a home. She has picked out said dog, but does not want to drive her Volkswagen Beetle with the dog loose in the car. We can't have a dog induced traffic accident, so would I "be a doll," and drive the car while she keeps the animal on her lap? I agree to do this since that next Saturday morning I have nothing scheduled.
Saturday rolls round and we go off to the shelter and I wait in the car while she goes in to complete the paperwork. Now I be sitting there watching family after family come out with newly adopted dogs. The first was a gray wolf looking dog with yellow eyes and a beautiful coat of fur like you've never seen. I was impressed. Then a couple came out with a floppy eared Basset Hound, ears dragging upon the ground, all cute and such and off they go. The last is a family of four and they came out with a beautiful Irish Setter, the coat a deep rich red and here I be thinking this is the way to go with getting a full breed dog.
I waited a little longer and then I saw the short spiky hair and the white t-shirt back of me new neighbour. She was urging something on a leash to come out the door. I be anxiously craning me neck only to be disappointed in what was on the end of the leash. It be the ugliest dog I've ever seen in me life, it looked for all the world like a white and black pig!
I rubbed eyes in disbelief, thinking they were deceiving me, but no for sure and may the saints preserve us all, it looked like a pig with a dogs head. I jumped out of the car and ran up to take me a better look.
"What is THAT?" I asked trying to make out what kind of dog it might be, if it was one at all.
"It is a dog, can't you see that? What did you think it was? Isn't he the most cuddly, precious thing you've ever seen?"
''NO," I said, "it looks hideous. You aren't serious are you? You are taking that home?"
And so she thought I was joking, and ignored me while coaxing the pig/dog to the car and in she got and I had to reluctantly heave the thing in on her lap. Talk about putting me back out, between the boxes and the pig/dog I be needing a Chiropractor. Once in, I got a closer look at this drooling fat thing and shaking me head, I put the car in gear and home we went.
I don't understand it. Surely there were more dogs in there than this one. I said to her after, what about the Basset Hound, and she said she thought they were ugly and didn't want one. How about the Irish Setter, and she said it was too big. BIG? What she has may not be tall, but it is WIDE.
It can't fit out the door without assistance. I have been suspicious she is crazy and be near sure of it because today I was caught as I came down me stairs with the whoosh of her door opening and there she stood with the pig/dog at her feet and inside are puppets and such hanging from the ceiling, and I thought I was bad with hot air balloons! I mean it is bizarre. I stumbled in uninvited because I was in a state of shock. Me mouth hung gapping to me knees as I walked around the one room apartment looking up at clowns, faeries, elfish things and Punch and Judy type puppets. All made by herself! And as if that wasn't enough, the wall where the door was had a full wall mural of Mickey and Mini Mouse, Donald Duck and the entire Duck family, and Peter Pan, Wendy, and Tinkerbell!
It was done well,but how can someone live in a toy box I want to know.
As I stood looking at the Peter Pan and Wendy part of the mural she says, "Don't you love Peter? I do."
I mumbled something like, yes indeed, as I took in the rest of it. The furniture is all wooden stuff she's painted in stripes and poka-dots in rainbow colours. Visually it is a trip and you don't need drugs to get there.
To end this introduction to me newest neighbour, she said that my liking the Peter Pan story was a stroke of luck because she wanted to know if I'd go to a theme party with her. Still taking in the whole colour filled room, I nodded without thinking. It wasn't until a few minutes ago I realised what else she said.
Here it is, I be invited to a TINKERBELL PARTY! Yes, go ahead and laugh. It gets worse, the party is an annual event, for her FATHER. He is a 50 something and everyone gets dressed up like someone from Peter Pan. But wait, her father gets dressed up like Tinkerbell! What have I got meself into?
Gabe
Copyright © 2004 All rights reserved
