30 May 2022
1070
R. Linda:
My goodness me, but I am finding that since the pandemic small talk has become rather bizarre. I mean like the kind you hear in an office waiting room where you can't help but eavesdrop. I also found that even if ye be minding your own business, sometimes you just can't because some bird is going to draw your arse into the conversation whether you so want to be or not.
I went to my eye doctor for an eye exam. The office had a row of seats on each wall and in the middle was lots of room for more seats, but I think with the pandemic they took those chairs out. So there I was, my tall gangly self, sitting with me long legs stretched out (because of all the room) and across from me was this older lady who had been there before me. As I sat there looking for a magazine to read (there weren't any), a few other people came in and sat down either in the same section as me or as the old lady. We were all pretty well separated because of Covid, so I thought maybe I could close me eyes and catch a quick kip.
No sooner were my eyes closed than the old lady addressed the woman sitting three seats down from yours truly. She asked her if the weather was still nice outside and that made the younger woman ask her if she had been waiting long. And so it went as you can imagine. Even with me eyes closed for business, the older one across from me asked me what time was my appointment. I told her and closed me eyes again, hoping that hint enough I wasn't interested in conversing.
Finally, the old lady was called and another walked in and one took her place. That left me, another man across and near the door, a woman of 50 or so, sitting across from yours truly, and the other woman I mentioned prior, who was asked to give the weather report, three chairs down from me on my side of the waiting room.
I heard the woman near me say to the other one across the room some opening salvo to a bit of feminine chat. This feeling each other out seemed to have clicked because they were laughing and chatting back and forth, all chuffed with each other and somehow got on the subject of age, more precisely menopause. The one next to me had just turned 50, and the one across from me was 59.
"My flow stopped right on my 50th," the younger one said, "it was a nice gift to myself." And she laughed.
You can imagine I kept me eyes shut tight and I kind of thought the other guy was feigning sleep too.
"Oh wait until you look in the mirror and you see your mother staring back at you." The other laughed back.
"No, people say I look like my dad now and I do. Moustache! I seem to grow hair where I don't want it and am losing it where I do want it."
More laughter.
"Yes, my hair started to fall out and I was in a dead panic I'd need a wig." The older of the two offered. "But the hair on my nether parts was also falling out. I felt like I was reverting to infancy body-wise."
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
"Did you lose it on your legs and under your arms too? Because I don't have to shave there anymore." The other hooted back.
Talk about uncomfortable situations!
"No one, not even my mom told me what to expect after 50!" The older one chuckled back.
"Someone should write a book of warning so the process isn't so alarming." The other one commented.
There was thoughtful silence between them for a moment before the older one piped back up.
"My eyelashes and eyebrows got sparse too."
"Oh I haven't got there yet," commented the younger, "I guess that is why some cultures tattoo eyebrows at a certain age?"
"I didn't know about that. Really?"
Well, I didn't know about any of that so REALLY?
"The one place I grow a lot of hair is my face." The older one stated with a sigh.
"Yes, I have a moustache for the first time in my life! And, a light beard."
Okay, I wanted so bad to open my eyes and look, but I just couldn't. I was looking through me eyelashes as it was and noticed the other male in the room looked like he was having a convulsive fit. In actuality, he was starting to laugh and couldn't help himself. I opened my eyes and the ladies were looking at him with wonder.
He was laughing so hard that he got up and waved to them and went out into the hallway to try to gather his wits about him. Thankfully, I was called in for me appointment or I would have been out there with him.
I don't know what possesses people sometimes. Truly that was inappropriate and the two didn't know each other to be discussing such intimate things in a room of strangers, especially two men.
I now know more about "the changes" than I needed to know.
Gabe
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