24 June 2012
542
R. Linda:
Can you imagine being attacked by a horde of leprechauns? This would be easier to digest if one was heavily in their cups. Yeah, would seem like a real possibility it would. But sober, the idea of it elicits a chuckle at best. But stranger things have happened. Like what, you ask? Like the Romeo in Poland who rode his horse into his beloved's house (see And they say romance is dead, haha 14/06/11), and the guy who removed a wart permanently by shooting his finger and wart off (see Sure 'fire' wart remover18/06/11). Oh yeah, and then there's the Massachusetts man who had his wife kidnapped in her very own home by cleaning men to show her the proper way to keep the house straight (see Me Report on Brian Malloney07/11/09), and oh! Let me see, the two guys at the Pub in Ireland that the weasel took a liking to one's trouser seat (see Wild Kingdom comes to a small village in Ireland22/05/11). I could go on, but there are too many to list.
So you can imagine my surprise when I heard this next story and I was stone-cold sober. Like the others listed above, I feel the right arse relating it, but I will give it a go anyway. The place: Seattle, Washington, the good old U.S. of A. And may I say right off, only in America? Yup. Well, seems in the Belltown area of Seattle, there is a pub (actually several imbibing establishments), and in one of these, our hero (who we'll call Bob to protect the not-so-innocent) made the hefty mistake of asking someone else's cutie to dance. Yes, he did. And for this indiscretion, he was attacked by a thundering horde of . . . yup, leprechauns! Little green men, to be exact. Like this lot below:
I promise you I be not making this up! The minions of the law were called, and upon arrival, they asked the attackee who it was had attacked him so viciously. And, of course, he told them! They must have looked to see how many mugs of beer our misaligned hero had drank. Still, well. . . he had confirmation in a few others who were in the pub at the time, stepping up and confirming that yes, indeed, it was a pack of em' those green guys . . . from Ireland . . . you know the type, green suits, shamrocks, red hair, beards, shillelaghs . . . um hum.
Now, if it were meself investigating, I would have thought the lot of 'em drunk as skunks. My question would be, how did these wee green men get there? Did they come in riding pink elephants? More importantly, WHAT WAS BOB DRINKING? And how much of it did he imbibe? But well, when you have more than one collaborating witness, there MUST be something to the story. Right?
Add to this the suspicious injuries to our hero Bob. His head was cut and bruised, as were his elbows and back. He was one bloody mess, and in quite a bit of pain, I was told. Well, if one is hit over the head with a shillelagh, yeah, that would hurt it would. I would have said, "Wait a minute, leprechauns couldn't hit Bob in the face because they be SHORT. What did they do stand on each other's shoulders?" How is that possible? I ask you? You who are leprechaun height might enlighten? There were no bites on his ankles to bring Big Bob down, so HOW?
On looking around, no leprechaun was in sight, no notta one! But even in Ireland, these little green men are only visible to some and not to others. I think there is a fine balance of drunk and sober. Our hero Bob was taken to hospital for treatment, and an APB was put out for a bunch of little men dressed in green. Well, R. Linda, this news item hit the air, and one report said this: "Following the recent proliferation of zombie-related news stories, it appears America has now moved on to attacks by other fantastical characters." I tell ya! But leprechauns? Really? Seattle is hardly Dublin. I dunno.
Even the Daily Mail issued this: "Just as the Zombie threat appears to finally be lifting, it seems America could be at the mercy of an even deadlier menace."
Leprechauns? OK. To this date, the men in blue have not located a single man in green. So where are they? That the police can't find them makes (I be sure) the entire city of Seattle insecure and on edge. Where and WHO will they attack next? I do hope they find this mob before I visit. If they can take down a standard-size man, how would it look for Gulliver me to be taken down? I know I am off on a tangent and won't (very likely) go to Seattle EVER. But you know, one can hypothesise one can, well, sort of.
There is an alert out if you are travelling to Seattle to be "vigilant" and on the lookout for leprechauns! No kidding, really, this all be quite true! But you know there might be something to this when I think back to St. Patrick's Day this year, I came out of a Boston pub and saw THIS:
I even took a picture of it because I wasn't sure I was seeing it, but there it was. So they do exist!
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Can you imagine being attacked by a horde of leprechauns? This would be easier to digest if one was heavily in their cups. Yeah, would seem like a real possibility it would. But sober, the idea of it elicits a chuckle at best. But stranger things have happened. Like what, you ask? Like the Romeo in Poland who rode his horse into his beloved's house (see And they say romance is dead, haha 14/06/11), and the guy who removed a wart permanently by shooting his finger and wart off (see Sure 'fire' wart remover18/06/11). Oh yeah, and then there's the Massachusetts man who had his wife kidnapped in her very own home by cleaning men to show her the proper way to keep the house straight (see Me Report on Brian Malloney07/11/09), and oh! Let me see, the two guys at the Pub in Ireland that the weasel took a liking to one's trouser seat (see Wild Kingdom comes to a small village in Ireland22/05/11). I could go on, but there are too many to list.
So you can imagine my surprise when I heard this next story and I was stone-cold sober. Like the others listed above, I feel the right arse relating it, but I will give it a go anyway. The place: Seattle, Washington, the good old U.S. of A. And may I say right off, only in America? Yup. Well, seems in the Belltown area of Seattle, there is a pub (actually several imbibing establishments), and in one of these, our hero (who we'll call Bob to protect the not-so-innocent) made the hefty mistake of asking someone else's cutie to dance. Yes, he did. And for this indiscretion, he was attacked by a thundering horde of . . . yup, leprechauns! Little green men, to be exact. Like this lot below:
 |
| See them shaking their wee fists? They can't wait for another pub brawl |
Now, if it were meself investigating, I would have thought the lot of 'em drunk as skunks. My question would be, how did these wee green men get there? Did they come in riding pink elephants? More importantly, WHAT WAS BOB DRINKING? And how much of it did he imbibe? But well, when you have more than one collaborating witness, there MUST be something to the story. Right?
Add to this the suspicious injuries to our hero Bob. His head was cut and bruised, as were his elbows and back. He was one bloody mess, and in quite a bit of pain, I was told. Well, if one is hit over the head with a shillelagh, yeah, that would hurt it would. I would have said, "Wait a minute, leprechauns couldn't hit Bob in the face because they be SHORT. What did they do stand on each other's shoulders?" How is that possible? I ask you? You who are leprechaun height might enlighten? There were no bites on his ankles to bring Big Bob down, so HOW?
On looking around, no leprechaun was in sight, no notta one! But even in Ireland, these little green men are only visible to some and not to others. I think there is a fine balance of drunk and sober. Our hero Bob was taken to hospital for treatment, and an APB was put out for a bunch of little men dressed in green. Well, R. Linda, this news item hit the air, and one report said this: "Following the recent proliferation of zombie-related news stories, it appears America has now moved on to attacks by other fantastical characters." I tell ya! But leprechauns? Really? Seattle is hardly Dublin. I dunno.
Even the Daily Mail issued this: "Just as the Zombie threat appears to finally be lifting, it seems America could be at the mercy of an even deadlier menace."
Leprechauns? OK. To this date, the men in blue have not located a single man in green. So where are they? That the police can't find them makes (I be sure) the entire city of Seattle insecure and on edge. Where and WHO will they attack next? I do hope they find this mob before I visit. If they can take down a standard-size man, how would it look for Gulliver me to be taken down? I know I am off on a tangent and won't (very likely) go to Seattle EVER. But you know, one can hypothesise one can, well, sort of.
There is an alert out if you are travelling to Seattle to be "vigilant" and on the lookout for leprechauns! No kidding, really, this all be quite true! But you know there might be something to this when I think back to St. Patrick's Day this year, I came out of a Boston pub and saw THIS:
I even took a picture of it because I wasn't sure I was seeing it, but there it was. So they do exist!
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
